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Secret gay handshakes

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GSOgymrat:
So we get a new mental health counselor in our office and after a couple of shifts she passes me a folded note that say "I'm family too but don't tell anybody." This woman is 37 years old. I'm thinking, is this 1980? Am I suddenly back in high school? I just meet you and you are trying to swear me to secrecy? She is working in an office of mental health professionals, none of whom would bat an eye at sexual orientation, but I remind myself there is nothing wrong with keeping private life separate from work life. So later in the shift people are talking about their Christmas decorations and after I describe mine she says "God, you are such a gay boy" in a snide voice.

I think she has some issues to work out but regardless, in the US in this day and age are we still keeping up the secret gay society?

Hellraiser:
Don't you live in North Carolina?  Everyone is at their own point on the path of disclosure with orientation Ford.  Maybe she just came out?  Maybe she's just a very private person?  She sounds fairly immature but I wouldn't judge her quite so harshly.  Although passing a note is hilarious lol.

wolfter:
Oh my, seems like a strange bird to me.  At her age in 2012, why is this even an issue?  Not sure if I'd want her counseling services.

I recalled a memory that I had forgotten about the "family" comment.  My bestie the other Greg and I were out running around and shopping.  Even though we grew up in the same area, he always was more aware of things than I was/am.  I'm not sure if I'm dense or naive? 

This gorgeous clerk was quite anxious to help us.  He seemed to be almost too interested in helping me.  He was super friendly and mentioned he thought we were family.  Since we were not from that area, I indicated that I doubted it.

After leaving, I mentioned that it was funny that this guy thought I was related to him.  He then tells me that was his way of letting me know he was interested in me.  When I asked him why he didn't clue me in, he explained that since the clerk was only interested in me, he wasn't helping me get laid.   ;D

I've not heard anyone use this terms in ages.

Wolfie

Buckmark:

--- Quote from: GSOgymrat on November 29, 2012, 11:35:55 AM ---So we get a new mental health counselor in our office and after a couple of shifts she passes me a folded note that say "I'm family too but don't tell anybody." This woman is 37 years old. I'm thinking, is this 1980? Am I suddenly back in high school? I just meet you and you are trying to swear me to secrecy? She is working in an office of mental health professionals, none of whom would bat an eye at sexual orientation, but I remind myself there is nothing wrong with keeping private life separate from work life. So later in the shift people are talking about their Christmas decorations and after I describe mine she says "God, you are such a gay boy" in a snide voice.

I think she has some issues to work out but regardless, in the US in this day and age are we still keeping up the secret gay society?

--- End quote ---

Seriously?  Passing notes?  She is a a mental health counselor, who is afraid to be out at work, but has no problem calling you a "gay boy"?  She definitely has some issues to work out.  Not just with self-acceptance, but trying to engage you in her game of secrecy sounds like it could be manipulation or control issues too.  I wouldn't want to get caught up in that.  And her "such a gay boy" comment seems inappropriate to me.

GSOgymrat:

--- Quote from: Hellraiser on November 29, 2012, 11:47:57 AM ---Don't you live in North Carolina?  Everyone is at their own point on the path of disclosure with orientation Ford.  Maybe she just came out?  Maybe she's just a very private person?  She sounds fairly immature but I wouldn't judge her quite so harshly.  Although passing a note is hilarious lol.

--- End quote ---

I suppose if she just came out at 37, which was not the impression she gave, I can understand it but living in Greensboro is not really a legitimate excuse anymore. If she is a private person, which I totally appreciate, why is she telling a coworker whom she met 10 minutes ago at a new job? If she wants me to keep her sexual orientation a secret why is she calling me out on mine in a negative way in front of colleagues? Annoying.

The issue I find more interesting is how much longer are we as gay people going to keep ourselves secret? I grew up with code words, the secret social networks where you pretend not to know each other in public, etc and honestly thought we had moved beyond that. Everyone needs to find their own path, coming out is still a transition and not everyone needs to tell the world their business but as a group are we still supporting the closet as a healthy way to live your life? Do we still need to pass secret notes under the table? In the US are we still at the point where we need fake marriages to people of the opposite sex?

I recognize part of this is my own stuff. I've been out so long and I have seen the days when the world for gay people was so different. There was no internet and it was difficult to even find gay people. You worried about getting arrested every time you went to a club. There were no gay people on TV. The local newspaper listed the names and addresses of people caught at rest areas committing "crimes against nature." Many people didn't even know what homosexuality really was. I wonder whether young people today can really understand. Now gay marriage is a national political topic... this would have seemed insane when I was growing up. So we are in this transitional place where some gay people are legally married and having kids and other gay people are 37 years old and passing secret notes to strangers under the desk at work.


--- Quote from: wolfter on November 29, 2012, 12:29:04 PM ---I've not heard anyone use this terms in ages.

--- End quote ---

She also asked me if another male coworker "attended our church" which was another phrase I had not heard in years.

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