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Disclosure with Sex

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LivingFree1989:
Since I have been + I have been in one relationship for 4 years. Now its over and I want to start dating again but its so scary because I want to disclose and not have to worry about them telling everyone and then never wanting to talk to me again. I don't know how to go about casual sex either. I want to be able to have it with no strings attached but i can't unless I disclose. I just dont want any trouble. Any ideas are welcomed.

moongoddess:
Are you on treatment and undetectable???  If so, your chances of infecting your partner while using a condom is very very small. In this case, I don't think it is
morally wrong to keep your mouth shut in a casual no-strings-attached situation.
You are more risk of contracting something from him (eg. HPV) than he is from you! Now if you are not on treatment, this is a completely different matter and disclosure is mandatory (ie, don't be the scumbag who did this to you).

I acknowledge that these are my opinions and may not be the popular or politically correct opinion, but they are based on the true risk of transmission while on treatment and undetectable.

The downside of this, of course, is that if you and this person get on well together and decide that you want to be in a relationship, you will be in a very difficult situation, if you did not disclose in the beginning.

It might be in your best interest to just save yourself the grief and look for a seropositive partner. I know this is easier said than done.

apple:
I think the best is to wait for a little while ( like 3-6 months) and know the person better. If you get comfortable with him and you see that the relationship is getting serious, then you can disclose your status. Otherwise revealing to everyone during the first weeks before you know them better can be stressful.


Good luck!

LivingFree1989:
Thanks...

27years:
deepends on what you feel comfortable with, some people have gone to a point where disclosing is not an issue at all, however if you feel you wont be abel to deal with the after effects of disclosing I sugggest you use condoms until you can establish how the other person might take it, once you tell someone you cant change anything on how they react, however be careful of what you can get from the other person, there are still other STDs out there.

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