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Hi Mark,

I have been thinking about those who live with this and work in it as well,like you , the MODS and others.

And all I can say is I hope you get what you need to sustain yourself, in fact more than sustain also flourish ,with love and respect,

Hey all,  I haven't posted here in a very long time.  Just taking a break today between shoveling snow and saw this thread.  I've been poz now for probably 10 years (diagnosed 9 years ago) and I have to say the MEDS do work!!  I hope anyone and everyone would adhere to what their Dr.,  friends,  & loved ones would tell them regarding taking care of one's self. 

Cheers everyone

Hi All,
          I don't see it as a sad story, I must clarify that I don't intend that to sound hurtful, but I must also say that I understand why some choose to not take meds.   I've done it myself.   I also understand where mental illness can distract you.   We all make our choices in life on how we live , and include on how we live with HIV.  Some have the strength to fight it, and others do not. Like Cancer or any other terminal illness, people have the right to decide for themselves how they live with it, fight it, or not.  I don't know all about your friend Mark and I do empathize with your grief. sadness for the loss of a friend is always difficult.  We all consider ourselves free, and able to make decisions on what we do, taking the meds etc.   I've been trying to cope with major depression for a long time, and did for a few weeks stop taking meds.  I was fortunate to get counseling, and anti depressants. 

           I still take all my meds, but at 50 and living in Rural NSW Australia, I have my own future plan.   I am not bitter, but in the 11 years I have been HIV+/HepB+   I have had numerous other issues that mean time in Hosp, and large amounts and numerous medications.  Some of us seem to go on for ever, with few issues and  then others like myself get many other issues. I spent more of 2013 in Hosp than out of it.  In fact I cannot remember a year that has been Hosp free.  In one year I was in Hosp for 11 months( 2006).  I cannot hold down a full time job, but the state handout says I have to seek work. I cannot get a disability payment, despite having 13 specialists in different fields the state says I'm not sick enough.  I am also type 1 Diabetic, the usual Cirrhosis of the liver, severe neuropathy, in my feet and hands, to name but a few.  Some days it's a struggle to want to get up and face reality.  I've also been on antidepressants for a few years.   For me there will come a time when the quality of my life ceases, but I won't take the slow option.   This is not meant as anything more than a statement, hopefully not to pity or be sad about.  I will make my own choice.  I am a do not resuscitate,  no tube feed, etc. When it gets to the point I can't wipe my own bum, or it decides to fall out all the time like it did in 2007-2013 I'm out of here.
          Mental illness and depression can be blamed, but realistically if people for what ever reason decide that they don't want to take their meds, then realistically we have to respect their wishes.  We can only advise, but cannot force anyone to take anything. If someone is that determined there is nothing you can do but try to support them as best you can.  I think that is the hardest part.  Supporting someone who refuses to do what the majority considers normal( I hate that word, but can't find a better word, I should have stayed in school longer than i did)  We live in a free world, and not every decision that people make is the one we want them to.
          I don't want any of this to sound nasty, I am not in the least bit mean to anyone.  I am sorry if anyone is offended.   

Sounds like me? I will have been positive 30 years in Jan. I have had a heart attack, and it seems like I can't go 6 months without being in the hospital with pancreatitus. 6-8 months ago. I have taking all the drugs I have to take. I have played with the virus, I didn't think I would ever have a problem with it, Never took my meds right. Now it may be winning. I live near Tampa, Fl. and the Dr I have don't seem to care if I live or die! I am looking for another one, But I have lost most of my muscles and fat. My butt is gone. I am weak, and boney. My cd4 was 100 two months ago, Now I am scared I am on the way down. I am taking my meds as close as possible to the times I am suppose to. I hope it works and stops it. I have decided this is not a virus to play with, it will win.  Any body have ideas how to try and put my muscle back?  Oh forgot to say, I stay sick at my stomach all the time. And have pretty much quit eating because usually it starts my pancrease to hurting. And getting pain meds in florida is sad.

What are PWA dying from the most? Sad question, but I need/ would like to know? Plz


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