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I'm Just so irritated these past few days have been such a mixture of emotions. First I go and apply/ interview for a job and the same day I get a call saying I have been hired. I so happy and grateful to have a job and be working again no matter how long it may or may not last. Then a few hours after getting the call that I've been hired, my ex fiancÚ whom I transmitted HIV from has the nerve to call me and leave this voicemail talking about his lab results and his approximation of how long he's been infected. A part of me feels like it shouldn't even bother me, but the fact is it does. Like what makes him think that him telling me about himself excuses him from the his infidelity actions a few months ago. UGHHH I forgive him and myself because I take full responsibility for having unprotected sex and getting HIV. But sometimes I just want to reach through the phone and knock his teeth out. Then my friend (who I'll now be working with) all the sudden starts becoming wishy washy again after I thought we were getting back to normal after the status reveal. And another friend said he was going to stop by while he was in the city and then never showed and call a few days later in the wee hours of the AM. I'm so over these say one thing and do another people. Like I rather you just be real and hurt my feelings instead of playing these dumb*ss mind games. Either be a true friend or be gone. *Sigh* After being friends for 5 & 7 yrs I'd think they know me well enough to not start acting like that all of the sudden. I'm not one to let go of few close friends easily but at the same time I don't know how much more I can stand from these two. I've been doing so good with staying on track with healthy eating but today I went over the edge and had a bunch of sweets. I wont be doing that again, I cannot be letting other effect me in that way. I'm ready to just step back walk away and start fresh. Sorry guys I know I'm all over the place, I just needed to get that out of my system.

Hey Lively,

I hope this message finds you in better spirits. It is true what they say that through rough times you will find out who your best friends are. It seems that perhaps your buddies are still absorbing the fact of your new status and is overwhelmed in their ignorance and baseless fears. Who knows, whatever the case you should try not to take this out on yourself and try to remember to stay positive. As for your boyfriend, you should perhaps just change your number or block him from calling you.

However congratulations on your new job and i hope that you are celebrating this weekend!


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