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new here and some questions

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drewm:
I was diagnosed with AIDS. 6 months on meds and I would have, in theory, been diagnosed with HIV (the numbers had reversed considerably). The bottom line is treatment and meds WORK. Try not to get hung up on numbers yet. You have a long healthy way to go  ;)

mecch:

--- Quote from: texaninnyc87 on December 02, 2012, 11:15:55 AM ---i have my big dr appointment tomorrow where they're going to take all my blood and stuff. pretty nervous. ive put off dealing with this for so long that each appointment makes me so anxious! before i walk into the building i always have this urge to just bolt and forget about it; i know how stupid that is. i'm hoping that after some time this feeling will pass and i wont get so anxious about all the doctors im going to be dealing with for the rest of my life. i've always been scared of doctors! i guess it also helps to know that after the next two appointments (initial check up and blood work and follow up when i get put on meds) i'll get a little break before any others. going to multiple appointments every week for the past few weeks has done nothing but put my status in the forefront of my mind at all times.

--- End quote ---

I read a lot of media, and I'm not sure where this was, sorry, maybe even here in the forum? But something about how in Britain  HIV+ people may end up living longer than certain HIV- populations because HIV+ people are in regular routine health care. 

My father hated doctors and I can't help but wonder if his cancer had been detected early, he would have had a better chance of beating it, or at least a longer life.  Meaning - yeah - going to doctors has BENEFITS.

HIV+ people with routine checkups are pretty closely watched and finally its not just about HIV.

It seems to me doctors are looking at my whole system on a regular basis.  I don't want HIV but I can't change that.  I take the medicine, I needed it pretty quickly.  HIV is controlled by the medicine. 

I changed my ID doc a year ago.  My first doc, and my new one, so thats two experts, told me point blank that HIV was NOT the major challenge to my health or longevity. 

For example, my new doc said point blank I couldn't be the light smoker I was.  Don't smoke.

You will go to the doc, get your HIV under control, and it would be a good idea to LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE, the benefits, of being under regular health care.

First of all, thank your lucky stars you have access to health care.  Billions around the world do not.  There are probably still millions of people around the world who face a shitty awful HIV/AIDS future, due to the lack of health care.

Secondly, going forward, you will be regularly observed and tested.  Not wishing any other health crisis on you, but one day there might be one - but you will be "plugged in" and maybe it will be caught early.  Or even prevented.  And you'll have a great record of your system over the years.  Doctors will know a lot about you. 

Thirdly, HIV care can become quite routine and you won't need all that many appointments, after awhile.  Maybe 2x a year.  And who knows what the future holds.

I am sorry that doctors make you anxious.  Do you really think its the doctors? Or is it health issues that make you nervous?  I would explore this a little bit, if it does not get any easier and more routine, soon enough.

My mom told me that my dad felt that way about doctors because he grew up in such a poor family, that doctors and health care were both 1) completely unaffordable, and 2) therefore - far from routine and 3) caused anger and resentment in the family because of financial hardship and sacrifice. 

My dad was the only kid to go to college and become middle class by that route, and so I grew up standard 60s, 70s, 80s middle middle class.  Not rich. Not even upper middle class. Not poor, though I remember money was tight.  But everything was routine and secure feeling for us - including dentists, orthodontists, pediatricians, shrinks if nec, etc etc etc.  (Not to be political, but I think so much is, that was a time in the USA when the middleclass had tons of employee sponsored, complete health insurance!)  But my dad, though he was living middle-class, still let his teeth rot, and still avoided all checkups with the doctors.  It was unfortunately embedded in his worldview, I think. 

Of course, I don't know if any of this touches you, or your situation.  But really, think about why health care might make you anxious. Why do docs scare you? Or is it the HIV? Or illness?  And how can you manage this going forward?

Personally I can think of a lot of reasons to be scared of illnesses, but not all that many to be scared of doctors or healthcare.

drewm:

--- Quote from: mecch on December 05, 2012, 05:01:19 AM ---HIV+ people with routine checkups are pretty closely watched and finally its not just about HIV.

Personally I can think of a lot of reasons to be scared of illnesses, but not all that many to be scared of doctors or healthcare.

--- End quote ---

Once again, I agree with Meech but especially these statements.

texaninnyc87:
I know my fear of doctors is unreasonable and definitely something i have to get over. I'm literally about to walk out the door to get my first set of numbers. Wish me luck! I'll post the results later. 

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