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Author Topic: Need some Reassurance  (Read 1323 times)

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Offline rosterseal

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Need some Reassurance
« on: November 09, 2012, 03:33:55 PM »
Hello, this is my first post, so please be nice. I have never been scared of HIV until this point.  I am trying to research about it on the internet, but I don't know whats real and what is not.  here is my story:

About 4 months ago, I was dancing in a club with a girl.  I was licking her neck, and kissing her neck, and sucking on her neck, like a hickey.  WHen I came back home, I noticed that I had a blood blister inside my lip, and it felt raw and open.  There was no blood.  Now my rationale mind tells me that this is a NO RISK situation, but my irrationale mind tells me "what if".  Soooooo . . . . . . . here are my questions:

1.  Is there any risk involved here?  My "open wound" in my lip, and her possibly having an "open wound" on her neck (i.e. popped pimple, a scratch, or an old cut of some kind)

2.  I tested negative at 8 weeks, 12.5 weeks, and now a little over 4 months.  Is there really a 3% chance that i can still come up Positive before 6 months?

3.  Has there ever been an incident where someone has gotten HIV in this way?

4.  I had swollen lymph nodes in my jaw, under my jaw, in my neck, and in my groin region.  If theses were related to ARS, would i have shown up + by now?

Thanks in advance for all you do for the WW's out there, including myself.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Need some Reassurance
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2012, 05:49:49 PM »
You are worrying needlessly, absolutely without any basis in HIV science. There was never a need to get tested. Nothing you have reported put you at risk for HIV.

The ONLY confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. As long as condoms are used properly and consistently for those activities you will be well protected.

You can move on with your life without further concern. If you have any troubling symptoms you should discuss them with your doctor. They have nothing to do with HIV.
Andy Velez

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Need some Reassurance
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2012, 06:35:59 PM »
Before I bullet-point your questions, let me first make a blanket statement:

Nothing you mentioned in ANY WAY places you at ANY RISK for HIV. Wear a condom for penetrative anal and vaginal sex and you will avoid HIV. It's silly how simple that is - which might be why many people can't seem to believe it, and why some puritanical "safer sex experts" don't teach it.

Here are your questions, as an addendum:

A)No risk, your saliva contains over a DOZEN elements that neutralize HIV, and unless you pulled a "Twilight" situation on the girl and got a gullet full of fresh arterial blood, there isn't even a THEORETICAL chance of getting anything. And no, a pimple, old cut, or scratch is NOT going to transmit HIV not matter how you parse it.

2) The standard testing window is three months, not six. And that is for a verified risk. You did not have a risk in any way, shape or form. I DO think that every sexually sctive person who is not in a mutually monogamous relationship ought to have a complete STD panel done (including, of course, an HIV test) twice a year. For your peace of mind and your partners'.

3) No. There has never been a situation where HIV was even implicated, let alone documented, as being transmitted in the manner you describe. HIV is a very fragile virus that requires very specific circumstances in order to transmit. IN a nutshell, unprotected anal and vaginal sex.

4) lymph nodes are very sensitive. I assume you notice they are swollen by feeling them. You have to understand that touching them can cause them to swell, and become painful. In addition, lymph nodes can and do swell at the drop of a hat. Change in weather, allergies, simple colds, stress.

As ARS symptoms vary widely from person to person, with many people experiencing NO SYMPTOMS at all, we absolutely can't even guess a person's HIV situation on symptoms.

 However, people who HAVE had a legitimate risk (**remember*** you HAVE NOT) and experienced ARS (which is the body mounting an initial defense, i.e. producing antobodies against the virus) will likely test positive shortly thereafter.

You had no risk, didn't need to test.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline rosterseal

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Re: Need some Reassurance
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2012, 12:24:54 PM »
Thanks for the replies guys.  Andy, if you could, I would like to hear from you on my different questions.  I know JK responded in bullet form, and that's helped ease my anxiety a lot, and no disrespect to JK, but I would really like to hear it coming from you, and Ann, if you can comment on this as well, it would really help a WW out in a time of need.  Thanks again for all you do, you really are helpful to people like me, and I know that there are a LOT of us out there, mostly becuase of misinformation on the internet.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Need some Reassurance
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2012, 01:27:01 PM »
You are worrying needlessly, absolutely without any basis in HIV science. There was never a need to get tested. Nothing you have reported put you at risk for HIV.

The ONLY confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. As long as condoms are used properly and consistently for those activities you will be well protected.

You can move on with your life without further concern. If you have any troubling symptoms you should discuss them with your doctor. They have nothing to do with HIV.

Roster, how many assurances do you need to collect in order to let go and move on from this non-risk event? You've already been assured you were not at risk. Period. Cut out the drama and get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline rosterseal

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Re: Need some Reassurance
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2012, 07:09:17 PM »
Trust me guys, I would like NOTHING more right now than to cut out the drama and move on with my life, but its hard.  I have made an appointment with a therapist, but its not until a couple of weeks.  I am worried that my 4 month test will come out positive at 6 months, and I am afraid that even the 6 month test will not convince me of my irrational fear that I am infected.  I just need some rationalization as to why this is a zero risk.  If there was blood in my mouth from her, and an open cut in my mouth, isn't that a route to transmission, minimal as it may be?  I need specifics to help my irrational mind.  Please help.  Again, I know I heard from JK, but I would REALLY like to hear that kind of rationaalle from Andy and Ann, again, the more posts, the better I feel, and I know that you guys are here for WW like me.

Thanks.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Need some Reassurance
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2012, 08:21:35 PM »
What part of you never had an exposure is it you are not comprehending?

■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result,  or no-risk situation will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Need some Reassurance
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2012, 09:20:34 PM »
As I have been excluded from the conversation, I shall forward your post to Ann for review.

You realize we are all in communication, and with the rare exceptions of a misread (especially in the case of huge blocks of rambling text) and misstyping (which can happen) we have no real cause to "correct" one another. If and when new HIV transmission information comes around (which is exceedingly rare) we are almost always on board at exactly the same time.

But if you prefer a smack-down from Ann, instead of anyone else, then your wish is my command.

PS: Your comment about "the more posts the better I will feel" is absurd. You have the information you need. It's not our duty to make you feel better, and wasting the moderator's time be insisting on four completely separate versions of the SAME information is just that, a waste of everyone's time. It is our experience that such attention is also rarely if ever effective.

« Last Edit: November 14, 2012, 09:22:59 PM by jkinatl2 »
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Need some Reassurance
« Reply #8 on: November 15, 2012, 12:03:44 AM »
You absolutely did not have a risk for HIV. We're not going to get into a further exchange about this in an effort to convince you about something you refuse to accept. That's not our job. We have done what we are supposed to do -- evaluate a situation in terms of risk. And you didn't have one.

If you come back again about this same issue you are going to get a Time Out for at least 28 days. HIV is not your problem.

Get on with your life.
Andy Velez

 


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