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mecch:

--- Quote from: Fisher on November 08, 2012, 09:03:28 PM ---Suspected ARS in December of 1982.  Tested positive 12 years ago. 28-29 years infected.
One of the ‘most fortunate,’ until recently.  I always had a CD4+ around 850, VL around 2,000. Been in studies at NIH for 9 years having, white blood cells drawn for vaccine research twice a year.

--- End quote ---

Amazing run, lucky you!


--- Quote from: Fisher on November 08, 2012, 09:03:28 PM ---Unfortunately, after all these years, the virus finally mutated and found a way around my relative immunity.  Last CD4+ 480, VL 139,000.  Started Altripla two weeks ago.  Well cared for at Mass General. Experiencing some side effects.

--- End quote ---

Sorry to hear the run had to end.  :-\


--- Quote from: Fisher on November 08, 2012, 09:03:28 PM ---I live in a very small rural community in Maine. No support groups up here.  I guess going through all the turd that most feel when they first discover they are positive, although I’ve known for ages.  All of a sudden it is “life or death,” rather than participating in the scientific process of ending this nightmare for all of us.  Besides health ambivalence now, a major ego blow. No more “being special and somewhat unique.”

Looking for some support or friendship or help during these early days. Don’t know what to expect or where I am going. Doc says HIV will in no way play a significant role in the longevity of my life.  But still feeling pretty hurt and harmed, and not sure what’s coming next.

-fisher

--- End quote ---

Why do you think your "ego" is invested in your immune response?  I dunno.  You've lived through it ALL.  You must know quite a but about HIV and how immune defenses is a bit of a crap shoot.  You even know now that your virus mutated, unfortunately, ending your long run...  So what has this got to do with ego?  Hurt and harmed??  I am curious, I would like to understand this a bit better, if you care to flesh it out some more.   Geez you participated for a very long time in science that can help us all. Pat yourself on the back and don't take your infection's new virulence as meaning anything about your value or self esteem.

I want to welcome you and reiterate what your Doctor says.  Really, its not life or death for you. 

Its drugs and life...   A lot of us get this message now pretty quickly, when we seroconvert.  The ID's tell us - please, don't put on a mindset from the old days.. The drugs are great, you will be fine.  It takes some of us a bit longer than others but most people eventually chill out.  This never had to sink in, for you, because it wasn't necessary. But now that you will take drugs, and you HAVE heard the message, that your life goes on as planned, and you won't be getting sick, I hope you have a new blessing, and chill out quickly enough.   A few months into the HAART I think you'll look back to this moment and be relieved that the stress and fear and anguish is gone.



The_Countess:
Welcum little fish.

mikeyb39:
Welcome to the forum! ;)

mitch777:
Hi Fisher and welcome!

you will find great support here. i have been + since oct. 1982 and was slow to progress with few issues for many years as well.

there are so many med options now that were not available in the early days as mecch said.

hang in and try to stay optimistic!

Fisher:
Thank you all for your welcoming. Much appreciated.

The ego bust, simply that I felt special and unique and thought I was part of the process for the cure.  The truth, I am in the same life-boat as everyone else. The good part. I am here now. We are here now, and can live to full extent and longevity as anyone, everyone.

I know quite a bit about research and HIV. Things like, although is seems otherwise, there's no difference whatsoever between a VL of 87 or a VL of 147.  But I do not yet know how to say to another . . . do  not fret or worry. 

Still fretting :-)

-fisher

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