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Should I say anything?

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So my older brother hasn't really been speaking to anyone but my dad (occasionally) for the past 2-3 years and this has really hurt me and my moms feelings and it would be nice to have my older brother as part of my life. I've been poz for almost 2 months now and While I was on a std positive website, I came across his profile, which was SHOCKING and saw that he has H. Now Im thinking maybe thats why he hasn't been talking with us this entire time. So now Im kinda wondering, with this newly discovered info, should i say anything to my mom? I wouldn't tell her what he has, just vaguely explain that he has a concealed illness, I don't want to just put his business out there like that, even though only my mom who is a extremely private person would know. I know it hurts her feelings because although she's not his biological mom she raised him since he was 3yr old. And Like i said before I would just like to have an older brother as part of my life. Im just trying to make sense of it all and figure out if thats why he stopped talking to us. what I should do about it?

Hey Lively,

What an interesting and sad scenario. Sorry for both of you. Not sure what you mean by your brother has H unless you're shortening HIV or meant Hep or something else entirely.

So, no matter what he has, my first question is this. Does he know about you? If yes, then you might want to share the truth. Maybe something light, like we like the same websites it seems or more plain, say I saw your profile on X and if you'd like talk sometime, I'm available.

If he doesn't know about you then same thing only use it as a way to talk about your scene.

Are you 100% certain it's your brother? Picture? City? Everything adds up? Otherwise, you might end up in a slightly more odd spot.

I would NOT say anything to your mother. That is HIS business. It's possible that by the two of you talking he might come around to sharing. He may have sized something up that you haven't a clue about or have excellent reasons for withholding. Further, he may deny it to you, too. Don't be shocked. Give him space.


Thanks for the wonderful advice. Yes everything sizes up and i mean down do the idiosyncrasies of the specific way he speaks. He doesn't know about me because i haven't talked to him in a while although i've reached out to him a few times. I know its his business like mine is mine. just wanted a different and unbiased perspective.

Hi Lively,

Didn't mean to appear too energetic about not saying anything to mother, even veiled, but you shared you were considering doing so.

It reads to me as if this could be catalytic and very helpful for you and your brother. He'll be shocked, I'll bet and then probably relieved at the odd state of affairs.

Could be good for both of you.
Do you like to write? It's a dandy little setup for a short story, heh?

Please let us know how it goes, will you?


I appreciate the positive energy, I didn't take anything you have said personally or offensively. :) My life kinda does seem like one complex short story right now. I'll keep you guys posted.


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