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new member here...diagnosed in april 06

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hi all..where do i begin? i've been married just over a year and we just had a beautiful baby boy when my wife and i decided to get life insurance for our family.well, she was excepted and i was turned down because of abnormal blood results..we couldnt figure out why till the insurance company contacted my doctor,then my doctor called me  to come to her office. thats when i found out i tested pos.for hiv..
i thought i was going to drop dead of shock right in her office,then i had to tell my wife that the man she's been married for just over a year and the father of her child is hiv positive. it was he worst time in my life..hurting her was worst than finding out of my hiv status..she and my son had to get tested(again) was the longest and the hardest few days of out lifes.
well, her and my son tested negative, there were tears of joy and tears of pain in my house for a few weeks.its been so hard..fortunatly i found and great doctor, my first blood tests indicated a cd4 of 180 and viral load of 56,000..the doctor said i've had it in my system for a few years..i've never been sick or had swollen glands or experince fatigue..i dont understand(not that i want those symtoms).
he put me on truvada and sustiva, my second visit to him my viral load drop to 900 and my cd4 went up by 10 to 190..(is this good?)
this visit was back in july. my next appointment is coming up next wife and i are a bit scared.this is all so new and scary to us..i know how i caught it..(lets just say i was a out alot with all kinds of people before i settled down and got married)
i'm not sure why i'm writing all this, but i guess i feel so shameful and wife loves me and supports me and actually told me she would of still  married me if she new i was hiv pos. but i feel soooo guilty and soooo embarassed..i know i'm a great dad and husband, but hurting her just breaks my heart..she's so scared of losing i am of dying and not being there for my son and her..(i'm actually tearing up as i type this)
my doctor says i'm responding very well to treatment and i should just plan my life,that i'm going to be ok..but i'm scared..i'm scared of my next appointment next week..should i expect good or bad news? is it inevidible that i get sick? i havent had any side effects that i've read about that tends to come with theses meds (sustiva)..
well,thats my story,sorry for all the babble and drama


--- Quote from: dingowarrior on October 07, 2006, 11:46:03 PM ---is it inevidible that i get sick?

--- End quote ---

hi dw: the answer to that question is a solid NO. hiv is not a guarantee that you will fall sick. reading the posts in Living With HIV will get you familiar with our stories ----- what you'll notice is we have plenty of forum members who are in good health.  science has made leaps and bounds since the 1980s; things are much brighter in this century.

........ congratlations on your marriage and  baby ....and sorr y to hear you were turned down for life insurance. we're here for you honey. do post more so we can help you. go ahead and talk about the nittygritty. we're very open/honest here. you'll notice that we learn from each other and we give each other strength.

Andy Velez:
Dingo, welcome. I'm glad you found your way here and that you have told us a lot of what has been going on.

As sad and troubled as you may feel about having unexpectedly tested poz, it's a great blessing that your wife and baby have tested negative. A huge thank goodness for that!

Along with everything else, you need to know that many thousands of couples who are sero-dystonic are having great lives together in every way including sexually while successfully protecting the status of the sero-negative partner. You two can do that as well. You must consistently use a condom everytime you have intercourse. No exceptions.

Right now the issue of HIV looms very large in your lives. And it is of course a very important issue. But gradually you're both going to come to see that it will subside into being a part of your lives and that your life together is going to continue to be good and filled with the things you have always wanted. I encourage you to keep talking as simply and directly with each other about your thoughts and feelings. That will help  you both to maintain the intimacy in your relationship in every way.

It sounds like you have found a good doctor. Developing a good working partnership with your doctor is one of the best tools you will have in staying healthy.

You're always welcome here to ask questions as well as to discuss anything that's on your mind.

That's what we're here for.



Glad you found us. I can relate alot to your story. My Hubby is HIV+ and I'm negative. We found out in May. We have been married 4 yrs. We are alot older than you (I'm guessing since u have a baby), were in our 40s.

You will find alot of love and support here. If you haven't read the Lessons here I suggest you do and have your wife read them too. I know they helped me alot!

I'm so glad that your wife and baby are negative. Sounds like you are really lucky to have a loving and supportive wife. Be there for each other and you both will be fine. Communication is the key.

If your wife ever needs to talk to someone she is more than welcome to pm me. She is welcomed here also. You both are part of a family that will always be here for you!


Thanks so much for all the kind words of support, my wife and i truly appreciate any and all advice.
Teresa, we seem to be in a very similar do we go about sending you a pm.
My wife and i would like to ask you a question( if thats ok ).
thanks again to all..i feel a bit better evertime i read a response.


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