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Author Topic: let go or what?  (Read 1566 times)

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Offline justababy86

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  • Posts: 11
let go or what?
« on: October 26, 2012, 11:19:31 AM »
So not to long ago I "forgave" the young man who gave me HIV yes I was like EVERYBODY else who 100% blamed the other person for giving me HIV I was young in a relationship with my high school sweet heart went away to college came back felt like it was real we were going to be together forever you know all the stuff Disney try to teach lil girls so when he said let's not use a condom this time I let him talk me into

But anyway like over a year ago I told myself  it has been long enough time to let go and let god so me and him got back in touch even went to go see him when I went back out there to visit some friends we hooked up and everything

 
But this is the question since July 26 2005 yes I remember my date  I found out and I told him he needed to get tested and we cried together we never talked about it after that my thing is I want to ask him how he's doing mentally and health wise but I fee l like he might be ready just knowing the kind of person he was

I have also heard somethings about him giving to other women well not just heard the other females called me themself but something for another post

So I guess I'm wondering should I even ask him how he's doing and ask all the questions I been having over the 7 years or should I just let it go I would like to have a friendship with him but who knows if it can really be all that

Offline harleymc

  • Member
  • Posts: 231
Re: let go or what?
« Reply #1 on: October 27, 2012, 06:04:04 PM »
Hi Just.

Sounds like you are travelling along very well.

We can choose how we live and our attitudes to others. What we can't control is the actions/ reactions of others, therefore  making contact opens you up to unpredictable variables from the ex. Given from your post that your ex has  spread a lot of havoc not only to you but to others as well, it looks like there is an ongoing pattern.

Begs the questions: Can you get closure in other ways? Are you prepared if this is a negative experience? Is it really worth it?

Big hugs to you.

Offline justababy86

  • Member
  • Posts: 11
Re: let go or what?
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2012, 01:39:30 AM »
To tell the truth the questions that you have asked I feel like I want know until I go that way with him don't get ne wrong we talk every blue moon but never about that I feel like its the elephant in the room you know

I just don't know if he would be truthful because I know how I felt about this just wondering if he's going through the. Same stuff have worries like me if anything I feel like me and him or in Tue same boat

Offline Anqueetas

  • Member
  • Posts: 116
Re: let go or what?
« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2012, 01:40:30 AM »
I have a similar experience you can look up at my thread.

1. One thing I learn from my experience you can't blame somebody else that give you HIV.(HIV transmission through sex happen because two persons decide to take the risk by having unprotected sex, unless is rape) A person can be immoral but we are the one to blame to let ourselves to take that risk and assume that the person we had unprotected sex with are HIV and STI negative. There is no way to know that unless you sees his blood test result. What we had done is to compromise our own safety to please others and that the mistake that we make.

2. Sound to me he's not a really nice person(Intentionally spreading HIV! how immoral is that). Do you seriously what someone like that in your life????????
I guess you still have some feeling with him, trust me I use to be in the same situation. You will be way better off from getting that horrible person from your life and surround your self with a real honest and really caring for you like family and trust worthy close friend.

3. Seriously you have your own issue to deal with, why you want to deal with other people's drama. especially the one that is partially responsible for all your misery.

Think about yourself first, your health, safety and your future is the most important.

This is my story
http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46097.0
« Last Edit: November 19, 2012, 01:46:35 AM by Anqueetas »
ARS, hospitalized for very high fever-July 2011
diagnosed HIV positive - October 16 2011
CD4 460 19.5% VL 49000 - late October 2011
CD4 625 19.5% VL 50030 - January 2012
CD4 369 19% VL 69000 - March 2012
Start Sustiva+ Truvada - April 17 2012
CD4 524 24.5% VL UD - August 22 2012
Switch to Nevirapine+Truvada
CD4 490 26% VL UD - November 2012
CD4 539 29% VL UD - February 2013
CD4 621 28% VL UD - May 2013

Offline Perfect_Storm

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
  • Vigilance is the price of Liberty
Re: let go or what?
« Reply #4 on: November 19, 2012, 03:47:13 PM »
I stopped reading after the second paragraph due to lack of punctuations.

However it seems as though this guy is a jerk. =\

Offline Ann

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  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: let go or what?
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2012, 08:14:39 AM »
I stopped reading after the second paragraph due to lack of punctuations.

However it seems as though this guy is a jerk. =\

Storm, are you hiv positive? If you are, it would be nice if you'd introduce yourself and let us get to know you a bit, like are you on meds and what your experience of being poz has been like so far.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Perfect_Storm

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
  • Vigilance is the price of Liberty
Re: let go or what?
« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2012, 02:58:52 PM »
Hi Ann,

Sorry for the late reply (I couldn't respond to the other thread when you asked). I will introduce myself soon...I am still a bit shy and wanting to see how this forum operates a bit before I do. I've been reading for hours and hours on this website (sometimes up until dawn reading) trying to get educated. This site has been very helpful thus far.

Online Jeff G

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  • Member
  • Posts: 12,196
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: let go or what?
« Reply #7 on: November 20, 2012, 03:08:44 PM »
Hi Ann,

Sorry for the late reply (I couldn't respond to the other thread when you asked). I will introduce myself soon...I am still a bit shy and wanting to see how this forum operates a bit before I do. I've been reading for hours and hours on this website (sometimes up until dawn reading) trying to get educated. This site has been very helpful thus far.

Hi storm and welcome to the forum . There are members here that are shy about talking about their HIV status and issues with people who are HIV negative , that's why its always a good idea to introduce yourself as positive before posting in most parts of the forum , especially in the living with HIV forum . I'm just a regular old member here and this is only a friendly suggestion , Thanks .       

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: let go or what?
« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2012, 07:21:58 AM »
Hi Ann,

Sorry for the late reply (I couldn't respond to the other thread when you asked). I will introduce myself soon...I am still a bit shy and wanting to see how this forum operates a bit before I do. I've been reading for hours and hours on this website (sometimes up until dawn reading) trying to get educated. This site has been very helpful thus far.

Well Storm, one of the ways this forum operates is that if you are hiv negative, you are restricted to posting in the Am I Infected forum, the Someone I Care About forum (only if you have relative, lover or close friend living with hiv), and the Off Topic forum.

It's a simple question - are you hiv positive or not - and I would appreciate an answer. Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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