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Author Topic: 9 years and counting  (Read 737 times)

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Offline m4jj4m

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
  • Diagnosed October 2003
9 years and counting
« on: October 14, 2012, 10:45:04 AM »
Hi Everyone:

9 years ago this month, I was diagnosed HIV+.  And I just found this site and forums a few weeks ago.  Wish I had found this earlier.

Sorry in advanced if this post is long.

I guess you can say my life has been filled with challenges:
-My first boyfriend, when I was 17-18, was emotionally and verbally abusive
-At the age of 20 I was raped by someone who later I found out was possibly HIV+.  Pretty much after that, I never acknowledged what happened until recently.  It's difficult to find other gay, male rape victims. If any gay men who have lived through rape experiences I would love to hear from you.   
-A few years later, someone I had been dating for a couple of years suddenly broke up with me.  It wasn't until years later that he told me he was cheating on me and became HIV+ while we were still together. 
-9 years ago, I moved from LA to SF, to be with someone I was dating.  We got tested together, probably the first time since before the sexual assault (long story there).  Mine came back positive and his negative.  The next day he threw me out of his house.  I only knew only one other person in SF at the time who I thought was going to be a friend.  He decided to out my status to just about everyone he knew.
-After diagnosis, I went to a community/non-profit center to help navigate the new status. I met with a case manager who started telling me about programs, etc.  Luckily I had health insurance.
-My first doctor, for lack of a better term, sucked.  When he thought it was a good time to go on meds (my CD4 was down to around 30 and my VL was up in the hundreds of thousands) told me over the phone and said a pharmacist would be following up with me.  I said no way and switched to a great doctor.  The turning point for a new doctor was having shingles when I was only 28. 
-While I was still coming to grips with my status, I ended up meeting my current partner.  The "friend" I mentioned earlier told him about my status before we went out and to make things worse, my case manager just happened to be the best friend of the new man in my life.  In short, once he found out we were dating, the case manager decided to tell everyone he knew.  Myself and my BF would both get emails from "anonymous" people who knew all of my business. 

Because of these experiences, I really never tried to reach out and meet and talk to other HIV+ folks.  This is one of the very few times I have shared my story really with anyone.  Now back in LA, 9 years later, 36 years young, with my partner of 8 years (who is negative), I am giving a case manager a try (so far so good), I have actually attended some groups and am really happier than I have ever been.  I chalk my experiences up as learning.  It does get better. 

My last labs looked like:
CD4: 700+
VL:  undetectable

Thanx for the time. 


Offline mikeyb39

  • Member
  • Posts: 923
Re: 9 years and counting
« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2012, 11:06:05 AM »
hi M4j,
thats quite a story there, glad you were able to make it thru all that.  hopefully things will get smoother as the years go on.  Sounds and looks like you are doing very well..
11/02/2010  cd4-251, vl-591000
12/09/2010  started Atripla
02/18/2011  cd4-425, vl-800
06/10/2011  cd4-447, vl-70
10/10/2011  cd4-666, vl-80
01/05/2012  swiched med (prezista,norvir ,isentress, )
02/10/2012  cd4-733, vl-UD  Viread removed
06/10/2012  cd4-614, vl-UD
12/14/2012  cd4-764, vl-UD
09/01/2013  cd4-785, vl-UD
03/06/2014. cd4- 1078, VL-UD

Offline bmancanfly

  • Member
  • Posts: 565
  • Medicare For All !
Re: 9 years and counting
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2012, 01:18:17 PM »
That's quite a story.

Glad you're doing well. 

Welcome.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."

 Bertrand Russell

Offline Anqueetas

  • Member
  • Posts: 116
Re: 9 years and counting
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2012, 10:57:15 PM »
Want share something here. My first boyfriend also emotionally and physically abusive. He is my first love and I dearly love him, i even fly to sees him after 2 years of him being away in singapore alone.  I later found out that he trick me to do some financial transaction that I later found out its illegal. I was emotionally devastated.  I broke up with my latest boyfriend 4 months ago, the one who give me HIV. I even take care of him when we both found out that he is also positive. Oh boy he lied.  I also found out later that he already been positive for 3 years before and been lying to my face so many times and after we broke up, well I can sees his true nature now, a whore that fuck around while being HIV positive and not on med.

I'm now 23 years the past year have been difficult, struggle with side effect of the ARV. I'm struggling at school but I will muddle through. 

I hope i can stand tall again like you
ARS, hospitalized for very high fever-July 2011
diagnosed HIV positive - October 16 2011
CD4 460 19.5% VL 49000 - late October 2011
CD4 625 19.5% VL 50030 - January 2012
CD4 369 19% VL 69000 - March 2012
Start Sustiva+ Truvada - April 17 2012
CD4 524 24.5% VL UD - August 22 2012
Switch to Nevirapine+Truvada
CD4 490 26% VL UD - November 2012
CD4 539 29% VL UD - February 2013
CD4 621 28% VL UD - May 2013

Offline m4jj4m

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
  • Diagnosed October 2003
Re: 9 years and counting
« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2012, 11:06:23 AM »
Thanx everyone!

Anqueetas:  Keep your head up and move forward.  Take control don't let things control you. 

 


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