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Author Topic: it strikes me very odd...  (Read 1468 times)

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Offline ademas

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,151
it strikes me very odd...
« on: October 07, 2006, 10:33:26 AM »
to hear my doctor make reference to my health 20 - 30 years from now.
I actually laughed out loud when he did.
I was diagnosed in '94 and by my own best estimate, I had a couple of years left.
Both of my ex-partners passed away in '93.  Most of my friends are gone.  I came to terms with death, and it was okay. 
Then the drugs started, and I decided I wanted to make it to my 40th birthday in '98.
Forty came and went, and my goal was to make it to the year 2000.
I still don't look too far ahead. 
It was just recently that the thought occured to me that I might outlive my mother and some of my siblings, and I still think long and hard before buying the extended warranty.
I guess I might have to start looking at things differently.
To be honest...it's not an entirely pleasant thought to think of living in the condition I'm in for another 20-30 years.
Hmmmm.

« Last Edit: October 07, 2006, 10:54:03 AM by ademas »

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: it strikes me very odd...
« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2006, 10:49:06 AM »
20-30 YEARS??  That means we have to be responsible??  Save money?  Rely on social security to be there?  And a whole slew of other variables!   I am not sure all of this is a blessing..  I will safely stick in the next 20-30 MINUTES where I feel the most comfortable.  Screw the rest.. ;)

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,394
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: it strikes me very odd...
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2006, 10:25:13 AM »
Oh Ademas,

You have said a mouthful!

When I first tested positive, the doc said, "You may have a few good years left." That was 1985.

I have outlived most of my generation, including almost all of my friends from that time period (last count, there were five left) and might even outlive my mother, who is 83.

In 1992, when I actually started seeing a doctor for this bug, there still wasn't much that could be done. There was monotherapy, but not much else.

In 1996, when the "cocktails" were introduced, I started meds and thought, "Gee, I might make it to 2000." But I tried not to think about it because that was still several years away.

It is now 2006 and, on my next birthday, I will hit the half-century mark. EEP!  :o

Now, I have to think about retirement? Aging issues? Social Security? Shuffle Board (NOT!)

I don't know. I believe each age has it good and bad points.

I guess I'll do what I have always done - take each day as it comes.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Alain

  • Member
  • Posts: 680
  • I am.
Re: it strikes me very odd...
« Reply #3 on: October 08, 2006, 10:36:20 AM »
.
« Last Edit: November 03, 2006, 06:31:27 PM by cowandalehouse »

Offline ChaplinGuy

  • Member
  • Posts: 236
  • Eat my left foot
Re: it strikes me very odd...
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2006, 05:20:51 PM »
You know, I remember asking my doctor that very question when I was diagnosed just a few months ago. I will never forget it, because I kept replaying her answer in my head over and over and over again for days. I said, "so how long am I going to live? Are you thinking 70?" - I was so optimistic about my life span, no doubt because my generation (I'm 28) has begun to see HIV/AIDS as such a severe but highly manageable disease. My doctor replied, "well, maybe 50 or 60". I was shocked - I couldn't stop thinking about it.

But then I started thinking about how much time that was - living to 60. That's 30 years! That's a good, full, adverturous life assuming I just pulled myself out of the funk and got living. I've seen so many people say in on these boards, but I look around me an see people dying all the time. Cancer. Car crashes. Infections. Accidents. We're all (positive or negative) wondering when it will happen - this group is just more aware, and I like to think more appreciative of each day.

To quote a fantastic film ("The Shawshank Redemption"), you've got to "get busy living, or get busy dying."

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: it strikes me very odd...
« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2006, 05:36:28 PM »
Ademas,

You must well know that I am one of those that loves the plan, but let me tell you what 23 years of HIV infection can do to your brain..... Now what was I saying... Oh yes. 

No, really the truth about HIV survival is really quite simple; Live today, it is the only day you really have because yesterday is history, tomorrow is a dream, but today........ TODAY.....

I never advocate getting out of bed without a plan, but hell, it is getting harder and harder to just remember where the floor is. ;)

Good for you, and as Joe Killfoile says, "Life is what happens while you are making other plans".

In Love.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline pozniceguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,176
  • Niceguy Dallas
Re: it strikes me very odd...
« Reply #6 on: October 09, 2006, 05:50:37 PM »
all this talk by you youngsters about not making it is just a lot of hot air...I have been on this merry go round (taking meds) since 1994.....infected probably in 1984......I am 67 and still planning to keep on strokin til my times comes ..whenever that is.....and yes that is a "recent "picture...my daughters wedding   July 2001

Nick
remember the good times...honor the past but don't live there
Le stelle la notte sono grandie luminose, nel cuore profondo del Texas

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: it strikes me very odd...
« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2006, 05:42:56 AM »
When they finally told me to expect to luive to see old age, there was a discalimer... "Unless you get hit by a bus."  I use extreme caution around public transportation.  Have the best day
Michael

www.Commission-on-AIDS.org

 


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