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Author Topic: Found out I am poz back in June with kaposi sarcoma, just don't understand...  (Read 4225 times)

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Offline sidekick

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Well I first went to the dentist back in December of 2010complaining of impacted wisdom teeth. The dentist recommended that I have my top two wisdom teeth removed, about two weeks after having my teeth removed I started feeling very sick. I couldn't get enough sleep, I felt very tired all the time, and I also started noticing that I was loosing weight. Over the course of a year things got worse, I started getting flu like symptoms, coughing ect. In January 2012 I went back to my dentist complaining of swollen tonsils, and impacted lower wisdom teeth, the dentist recommended to have my lower wisdom teeth remove. He also noticed someone patches in the roof of my mouth and was concerned. Me being skeptical and scared I put it off, until mid May of this year. I was in the middle of helping my grandparents as my grandpa was terminally ill with liver cancer, two weeks prior to his passing I went to visit him at the hospital. When I walked into the room he was sitting up in bed, looked me straight in the eye and asked me "son are you sick?" I replied "no pop I just haven't felt well probably got the flu" and he said "well you need to take care of your self". After he passed I finally couldn't take it anymore, I stared getting spots on my skin, and getting sicker. I went to the doctor and found out I was in fact hiv positive and I also have kaposi sarcoma. It's been a few months now after my diagnosis, my viral load initially 99,800 and my cd4 count was 169. Last week I found out I'm undetectable, and my cd4 count is 270. But I'm still worried about is, the lesions on my body are getting lighter but not going away, I have two on my toes that hurt like hell, my mouth was swollen for a while but now it's going down very slowly. Through all this I've managed to maintain a full time job, move twice, help my grandparents, help my grandma bury my grandpa, and put up with life's events. I just want to have a positive outlook on this, I want to start feeling and looking better. The atripla has been helping a lot. I do have my ups and downs with the meds making me tired or sick, but I still continue to work, take my meds properly, and get rest when possible. I'm only 28 and after loosing my best friend to a brain tumor last year, three grandparents to cancer all at young ages, my godmother to cancer, cousins to murder, and over 22 friends and family passing in just over 18 years. My home to foreclosure in 2009, and now my health. I do not want to die like this. I think it is just so messed up. My last hiv test was in June 2009 I was neg, I'm an openly gay man, I was with my last boyfriend for 5 1/2 years, it was a rocky mess with him and his unstable lifestyle. Been with my current bf for 3 years, took him to the emergency room two days after I found out I was poz to get him tested. His test came back negative. I know I've had unprotected sex with my ex and current boyfriend, but just don't understand, was it me, was it the dentist, etc. I don't live a promiscuous lifestyle, I don't use drugs, I don't drink, party, etc. I've worked my ass off for years now. Full time jobs constantly working!!!! It just makes me so angry. Being in a monogamous relationship ( can't speak for my ex he was cheating on me that's why we broke up). It racks my mind all the time. How, when, where? Was it having unprotected sex? Was it the dentist, was it me, was it my ex, what was it?!?!
"Life's not the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away"

Offline songs06

  • Member
  • Posts: 114
welcome sidekick,

i see you have ups and downs, but in this forum, you can find nice friends, good information, and see people like yourself. most of us unlucky, but this is disease, and it is not a death sentence. so cheer up a little. you will feel so much better when your cd4 cells go higher.

for now, about how you got infected, i think you should ask those questions to your doc. your ID doctor knows the odds better. but i know getting HIV from a dentist, without blood transfusion, is very unlikely. dentist cannot infect you with his hands, but if he didn't sterilize his tools, then you might get infected from another patient. but this is very very low chance.

most of us got it via sexual intercourse. your story indicated that, you might have HIV long before you went to dentist. Kaposi sarcoma is not common in new infected people, it is mostly happen after years when your cd4 gets below 200. so my vote goes to your ex boyfriend, whom you said cheated on you. you might be infected for years without knowing it. but there are some ways to say thinks more certain:

1-do you have any other past HIV elisa tests in last 3 years?
2-can you contact your ex and ask him about his HIV status?
3-you can just let go how you got it and move on. but this is very unlikely. i can understand you feelings. you want to know the truth about the disease that is changing your life.
but asking your ex also might be tricky, if you don't trust him he could tell other common friends and hurt your privacy. so the choice is yours. but if you haven't had any unprotected sex other than your ex, then chance is very very high.

about other things; all of our lives got very complicated after our disease. it comes with it. i have to study, work, look after my boyfriend. in the meanwhile i am trying to stay hidden about my HIV status, afraid of people hear about it.

but in the end, important thing is numbers. your cd4 and VL is your life now, and it will be for many years. you should be happy to take one of the best meds. (one a day drugs are still not available in many country like mine.) so hang onto your life with your best. and don't question your destiny and stuff. shit happens and we are unlucky.
18.03.2012 - infected.
14.04.2012 - first positive elisa - UD western blot
30.04.2012 - western blot confirmation positive
03.05.2012 - first lab- CD4: 256   VL: 2.3 M
01.06.2012 - sec lab- CD4: 390 (end of ARS)
01.07.2012 - third lab- CD4: 388 VL: 150.000
11.07.2012 - Started Truvada + Kaletra
04.08.2012 - CD4: 401 VL: 3800
30.09.2012 - CD4: 510 VL: 709
04.01.2013 - CD4: 650 VL: UD! (aka 20)
01.04.2013 - CD4: 460 VL: UD
09.2013 - CD4: 510
02.2014 - CD4: 490

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,589


   Hi sidekick ,
                        Welcome to the forums ,  Sorry to hear you have joined our group .

    Please don't waste time on when and where .  I have been with my Husband for over 30 years and he does NOT HAVE HIV . some guys just do not get HIV .

  I know you are very new to this , I was a mess when I turned full blown AIDS Eight years ago , But now i am more comfortable with it , In fact I can go for days with out thinking about HIV . 
  I also had very bad tooth problems  , so much for people saying Dentists know first   , they don't  >:(
   Please keep in mind it can and does go undetected for 20 years for some people .
 My husband always has and still does get tested every three months .

   As this is your first post I hope to hear more from you  ;)
 Life goes on and you will be fine . Take your MEDS and you will be good .

                                               Carl 

   P.s.   Spots on my skin is what made me have an HIV test .  I'm still having problems with Mosquito bites making dark ugly spots that take forever to go away .
" Live and let Live "

Online Jeff G

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,369
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Hi Sidekick and welcome to the forums . Its a scary and traumatising time when you find out you are HIV positive and I can only imagine how you feel having dealt with so much loss in your young life .

I know you have questions about when and how you got infected , but you may never know the answers to these questions so be prepaired to do what you need to do whether its counseling or relying on support and time to ease your worries .

The good news is you are responding well to your meds and with that news you have a bright future ahead of you if you keep doing what you are doing and take your meds . I will soon be positive for 30 years , so if I can do it , so can you and time is on your side . I also had a nasty bought with Kaposi Sarcoma . It took awhile but when my virus was controlled like yours is now it eventually went into remission . It took almost two years for my spots to disappear but they did for the most part , hang in there and know it does get better in time .       

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 10,772
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Been with my current bf for 3 years, took him to the emergency room two days after I found out I was poz to get him tested. His test came back negative. I know I've had unprotected sex with my ex and current boyfriend, but just don't understand, was it me, was it the dentist, etc. I don't live a promiscuous lifestyle, I don't use drugs, I don't drink, party, etc. I've worked my ass off for years now. Full time jobs constantly working!!!! It just makes me so angry. Being in a monogamous relationship ( can't speak for my ex he was cheating on me that's why we broke up). It racks my mind all the time. How, when, where? Was it having unprotected sex? Was it the dentist, was it me, was it my ex, what was it?!?!

Sorry you have had a rough go of it.

Recognize that some people can never identify how they contracted HIV. 

Try to drop these stereotypes about what kind of people have HIV, or at risk for HIV.  Highlighted in bold, above.

People mostly get HIV from unsafe sex these days.  And unsafesex does not HAVE TO HAVE anything to do with promiscuity or drugs, drinking, partying.  Though of course if those lead to unsafe sex, OK OK.

Also, not the Dentist.

Also, not you - you didn't give it to yourself, after all. 

You can feel anger about the injustice of yourself contracting HIV.  But everyone here has HIV and not that many people feel that it was some great "injustice." 

It sucks, of course. 

Eventually you'll have to drop the search for the contact, and just move on.  Forgive yourself for having HIV and recognize you are no different than anyone else here. 

There is NO scale of who deserves or doesn't deserve to get a nasty virus.  You just got it, and that's that.
« Last Edit: October 17, 2012, 09:20:35 PM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

 


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