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Author Topic: Oral Episode and Very Worried  (Read 7163 times)

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Offline very_scared

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Oral Episode and Very Worried
« on: September 11, 2006, 03:04:01 AM »
I recently performed oral sex on an unknown man and never learned his status.  I have healthy gums and don't recall any damage inside of my mouth.  After the event, I believe I began to feel ARS symptoms.  Can anyone clarify if my case is common with people who do get ARS? 

August 21st – Episode

August 24/25 – Sore Throat
August 26 – Lost Voice
August 27 – Got A Little Voice Back
August 28 (1 Week After) – Loss of Appetite – Sore Throat – Dry Cough – Voice Returned
August 29 – Diarrhea Once – No appetite – Sore Throat – Dry Cough
August 30 – No Appetite – Sore Throat – Dry Cough
August 31 – No Appetite – Sore Throat – Dry Cough
Sept. 1 – Regain Appetite – Sore Throat – Dry Cough
Sept. 2 – Sore Throat (Off and On) – Dry Cough
Sept. 3 – Sore Throat (Off and On) – Dry Cough
Sept. 4 (2 Weeks After) – Sore Throat (Off and On) – Dry Cough
Sept. 5 – Sore Throat (Off and On) – Dry Cough
Sept. 6 – Sore Throat (Off and On) – Dry Cough
Sept. 7 – Sore Throat (Off and On) – Dry Cough
Sept. 8 – Sore Throat (Off and On) – Dry Cough
Sept. 9 – Sore Throat (Off and On) – Dry Cough
Sept. 10 – Sore Throat (Off and On) – Dry Cough
Sept. 11 (3 Weeks After) – Little Dry Cough

I don't believe I ever had a rash, however, my skin has been dry lately.  I have never had a fever and have checked it daily.  I don't think I ever experienced fatigue or night sweats.  I had a confirmed no swollen lypmh nodes by a doctor on Sept. 1st.  I am currently out of the country and am very nervous about getting tested as I am not in a country where it is easily accessible.  I don't even know if I should get tested?  I cannot stop thinking about the big what-if (HIV infection) and some perspective might help.  Thanks for everything, this website is a godsend.

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2006, 07:29:02 AM »
very,

Studies have shown that becoming infected with hiv through giving a blowjob is exceedingly rare. If you want to know more about that, please read the Welcome Thread and follow the Transmission Lesson link found there.

Symptoms or the lack of symptoms mean nothing when it comes to hiv infection. Only the appropriate test at the appropriate time will reliably inform you of your hiv status. Nothing you report is in any way hiv specific.

You need to know that while it would be highly unusual for you to become infected with hiv through a blowjob, it is quite possible that you have picked up gonorrhea or chlamydia in your throat and it may be that causing your sore throat and dry cough.

While you don't even need to test for hiv over your specific incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. It you give blowjobs, you also need to have your throat swabbed so they can check for things like gonorrhea.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

See a doctor about your throat problems. You only need to test for hiv if it is a part of a routine sexual health care check up. Why? because it's the responsible thing to do. I fully expect you to test hiv negative if giving a blowjob is the only thing you've done and have never had unprotected intercourse.

Use condoms for intercourse and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline very_scared

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2006, 09:56:27 AM »
I am in need of perspective.  I am so scared right now I think everything in my life is on hold.  I have read that the existence of symtpoms or lack of do not mean a thing when it comes to diagnosing HIV.  However, I feel that I have contracted the virus.  After all of what was mentioned above, on the 3 week and 1 day mark I noticed red bumps on my back.  They do not itch and there is a lot of them.  They are raised.  The skin is not red, but the bumps are and there are many of them.  I also believe the lymph nodes in my neck are swollen.  I have not been touching them, but my neck has been sore for the past 2 days on both sides and it feels like I have a lump in my throat.  I also have a sore throat.  I have not had a fever.  It is all happening in the right time period.  Is this ARS? 

My episode is considered low risk, some even consider it no risk.  I performed oral sex without taking a cum shot, it was only oral sex, nothing else.  I don't know if there was any pre-cum, but I am sure there must have been (every guy gets it right?).  It was only oral sex, and only for 5 minutes.  I know the odds are in my favor, I guess I just need some perspective....I am so scared, all alone and worried with no one to talk to.  It is hard for me to think that all this is just coincidence...what could cause the all the bumps/rash on my back?  Help...somebody.  Am I the rare 1 in 10,000?  This is too much.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2006, 10:12:52 AM »
Seek out your worries from your doctor.

Offline very_scared

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2006, 11:15:47 AM »
I am sorry for the all the emotion.  I guess I am just nervous.  Does the symptoms mention sound at all like ARS?  Any perspective anyone could provide about testing/not testing.  Worrying or not?  Thanks Ann I do appreciate what you said.  This is just new to me, and a little scary.  I am not at a place where it is easy to get tested, so I am looking for advice from knowledgeable people.  Thanks for any help that can be given.  This really is the best website.

Offline very_scared

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #5 on: September 17, 2006, 08:05:57 AM »
I am trying to wait out the 6 week window period...this might be the most difficult thing I have ever done.  Should someone be worried if 3 weeks to the day after performing only oral sex, with only exposure to pre-cum, they get sore throat, possibly swollen lymph nodes (no confirmation just soreness in neck), and what appeared to be a general rash (just red bumps, no red skin) on their back and all that disappears a week later.  I mean, my question I guess is, when people say that performaing oral sex is a theoretical risk, what would it take for someone to become infected?  Would there have to be an open wound in the mouth with actual bleeding and then direct exposure to precum to become infected?  When we talk about vaginal or anal sex we say that damage can occur and that is the route for infection.  I am just confused as to what actually has to happen for transmission to occur.  What would be a likely scenario for it to occur in oral sex?  I have read previous posts, but still remain a little confused.  Thanks for all the help.  This website is tremendous and I am all about getting more involved with aids awareness (whether I test positive or negative).  I should have known all about risk assessment long ago, unfortunately I am finding out post-incident.  We could save a lot of heartache and suffering if we all lobby harder.  Thanks for the help.

Offline very_scared

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #6 on: September 24, 2006, 11:19:12 PM »
I just need to ask a followup question.  I have scheduled a HIV/STD test that will be 5 weeks and 2 days after the episode that might have caused exposure.  Is this too early.  It was oral and obviously low risk, but I need the confirmation.  I have experienced "symptoms" so I want to know.  Is 5 weeks and 2 days that much different than 6 weeks, particularly for my risk-exposure?  I will not be able to test at 6 weeks, so I have to do it now.  Am I doing the wrong thing to get tested a week before 6 weeks or can I expect the results (hopefully neg) to be my status, needing a confirmation at 12 weeks?  Just a short answer will suffice.  Thanks for all the perspective that is provided here.  I just wish I would have stumbled upon this place before my incident...thanks again.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #7 on: September 25, 2006, 01:31:10 AM »
Then don't take the test at all. If you think you need to test wait till you get to the 13 week mark and then collect your negative result.

Offline very_scared

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #8 on: September 26, 2006, 05:18:30 AM »
Went and had a full STD panel done today.  Just got the results.  HIV neg and Syphilis neg.  Have to wait for Gon. and Chla. until Thursday.  This was 5 weeks and 2 days past my last low risk exposure (performing oral sex on a man).  Can I consider this a good indication of my status?  Ann, I know you said I didn't need to test for HIV for my specific exposure, but it was part of the panel.  My throat is still sore, could be Chla. or Gon...I will know on Thursday.  This has been a long 37 days.  Thank you Ann and RapidRod for your straight-forward, calming advice.  Am I right to think this is a good indication of my status?

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #9 on: September 26, 2006, 05:36:16 AM »
very,

Yes, considering we don't really recommend testing over a blowjob, your results are an excellent indication of your hiv status. In studies of pos/neg couples who used condoms for intercourse but nothing for oral, not one, NOT ONE of the negative partners became infected. This shows us that condoms do prevent hiv transmission and it also shows us that becoming infected through giving blowjobs is exceedingly rare.

It's totally up to you whether or not you continue testing for hiv.

If they didn't swab your throat at the clinic, you may want to have this done to find out what is causing your throat problem. Whatever it is, it isn't hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #10 on: September 26, 2006, 05:39:32 AM »
Yes for HIV, since it would be very, very rare for you to contract it by giving head. But with Syphilis darling, you have a three month waiting period. Which is no biggie, a shot or two in the ass and some pills and a pat on the ass and your good to go. But in all honestly, you think contracting HIV would be a very rare case(it's never been proven), so is oral Syphilis. If you are truely worried about Syphilis, retest at 13 weeks.

Offline very_scared

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #11 on: September 26, 2006, 06:15:49 AM »
Thank you RapidRod and Ann so much.  I will get tested at 13 weeks again for HIV and Syphilis just to be 100% sure.  I have learned, wow, more from your posts than I think many doctors and medical practitioners know.  And therein is a major problem.  I should have known this years ago.  I know this isn't a messageboard for voicing complaints or trolling around so I just have this one last question and one final statement I guess. 

To all who read posts on this forum and have had a risk (theoretical or very high) symptoms are no way to diagnose your HIV status.  Listen to the moderators and other experts who answer your questions and be kind and thankful to them too!  They know what they are talking about.

One last question for the Moderators...could any of you suggest organizations that lobby to increase the frequency of and liberalize the information used for sex-education around the world?  I think this is something I can really get involved in and I definitely want to donate some money to make up for my lack of education growing up.  Thanks again for your time. 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #12 on: September 26, 2006, 06:26:11 AM »
Oh hell go enjoy your life, that's good enough for me. You can't help it you missed that part in sex ed. You were flurting with the jock on the football team.  ;) I am glad that we we're able to help you, even if it was just a little.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #13 on: September 26, 2006, 06:53:01 AM »
You can look up keywords on the net or go to your local library and ask the librarian to help you research organizations such as you have in mind.
Andy Velez

Offline very_scared

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #14 on: October 04, 2006, 11:18:01 PM »
well, it is 6 weeks and 4 days past incident and i am getting nervous again.  my sore throat went away, but now i am feeling a sort of tingling feeling on my palms and the bottom of my feet.  would a sore throat from syphilis begin like 3 days after exposure?  last night i got major dry skin on my back and shoulders like it just happened in an instant.  i have read stuff about syphilis, but i can't figure out the timeline and if what is going on with me sounds like syphilis?  can someone help.  is the "rash" on the palm and feet preceded by tingling?  also, trying not to think about this, but the big question in my mind is ... if i do have syphilis does that increase the risk of also having HIV?  like mentioned before i got tested at 5 weeks and 2 days, but now i am worried i was still seroconverting?  all it was was giving a blowjob.  ann or rapidrod do you have any insight in regard to this?  thanks.

ann...they did swab my throat at the clinic (and they did get a good culture), and the gon. and chla. came back neg...that is what has me thinking that my sore throat was syphilis and that teamed with other "symptoms" makes me wonder if i have hiv as well

sorry one last thing as well...and i really do apologize for asking so many questions...if i have syphilis of the throat and a doctor checked my throat out on the visit while there was a chancre there, would he be able to see it, because the doc did check my throat out and said it looked fine...just wondering and thanks again for all the help
« Last Edit: October 05, 2006, 12:51:10 AM by very_scared »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #15 on: October 05, 2006, 03:01:20 AM »
Syphilis, does not come on this early. Quit trying to diagnosis yourself. You won't get chancres with the on set of syphilis. Don't confuse Herpes with Syphilis. Does Syphilis increase your chances of contracting HIV? Only if you have had syphilis sometime before and left untreated, then contracted HIV. It doesn't increase your probability, if you are thinking you got syphilis and hiv exposure at the same time.

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #16 on: October 05, 2006, 06:29:08 AM »
very,

If you're worried about syphilis, go get tested for it. It's the only way to know if you have it or not. Just like hiv, it's nothing to guess about.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline very_scared

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #17 on: October 07, 2006, 02:41:08 AM »
rapidrod,

     let me get this right.  you are saying that the onset of symptoms for syphilis doesn't occur within 6 weeks?  so i shouldn't be expecting the syphilis "rash" on the hands and feet at 7 weeks?  and the odds of being infected with either hiv or syphilis or both from one episode of oral sex are like astronomically low?  also, rapidrod, i have read in other posts you have said when people talked about oral sex episodes that they "didn't have a risk" for hiv.  you just say that from reading and understanding the studies of sero-discordant couples?  sorry, just sort of relapsing into that "wondering what if" state and trying to stay focused...thanks for the help rr and sorry to take up your time.
« Last Edit: October 07, 2006, 02:50:11 AM by very_scared »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2006, 03:49:59 AM »
First of all, there are no what ifs or buts with hiv transmission. You do not get HIV from receiving a blowjob. It's not low, it is zero and the chances of contracting syphilis by oral is extremely rare. All of your symptoms came on to quick to even indicate syphilis. If you are having doubts, go test for syphilis to relieve your anxiety.

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #19 on: October 07, 2006, 05:26:13 AM »
very,

The first sign of syphilis is a painless sore. Because it is painless and because it can be hidden inside the body, many people never notice this primary symptom. The characteristic rash can appear approximately three to six weeks after the painless sore has healed up and disappeared.

As I said to you before, if you are worried about syphilis, the only way to know if you're infected is to get tested. Syphilis is a serious illness that can cause damage to internal organs, including the brain, and will eventually lead to death if untreated.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline very_scared

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #20 on: October 07, 2006, 06:43:48 AM »
RR,

I was referring to giving a blowjob, not receiving one.  I have seen where you have responded to people saying "you didn't have a risk for HIV" or "your test will return neg" when people write about giving a blowjob?  Do you take this from the studies of serodiscordant couples/experience?  That is all I was asking.  Obviously, I have noticed that all the moderators/contributors develop their responses to fit what was written...I am just curious if that is what you think everytime you read about a possible exposure through giving a blowjob?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #21 on: October 07, 2006, 06:47:40 AM »
Giving head is the lowest on the risk scale. Would I test for it? The answer is no.

Offline very_scared

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #22 on: October 08, 2006, 10:46:07 AM »
Is there only one generation of "rapid test" out there for HIV?  If someone gets a rapid test done (by drawing blood), is it 4th generation or considered the newest generation?  That is the test I had done and was wondering???
« Last Edit: October 08, 2006, 10:53:13 AM by very_scared »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #23 on: October 08, 2006, 10:50:12 AM »
Whatever kind of test you had/have done, the important issue (along with it being an FDA-approved test), is WHEN you have it done.

For a conclusive and reliable negative result you need to test at 13 weeks. Whether it's a Rapid test or a standard ELISA, it needs to be done at 13 weeks post the most recent possibly risky incident to be conclusive.

And yes, I do expect you will test negative. Your concern is over a very, very low risk.
Andy Velez

Offline very_scared

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #24 on: October 15, 2006, 07:03:03 AM »
Ok, so I know I shouldn't worry about HIV for my situation, but I am still thinking about syphilis?  What are the chances of getting syphilis from oral sex?  Can the syphilis rash be sub-cutaneous, under the skin and just be red?  Also, do you have to get those sores that open up on your hands and feet?  Could someone start to get a syph rash only 55 days after exposure to the infection?  Trying to wait out the window period...
« Last Edit: October 15, 2006, 07:05:47 AM by very_scared »

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral Episode and Very Worried
« Reply #25 on: October 15, 2006, 10:25:17 AM »
very,

A syphilis ulcer (at the point of infection) can show up between ten and 90 days after infection. It can last two to six weeks. The secondary rash (on the hands and feet) can show up two to 24 weeks after the primary symptoms have ended.

Syphilis is also called "the great imitator" because its signs and symptoms can be mistaken for something else. As with hiv, ONLY the appropriate test at the appropriate time can reveal your true syphilis status. Also as with hiv, syphilis can often be detected before the end of the three month window period, but a negative is only conclusive at the end of the window period.

If you're worried about syphilis, get tested. We cannot tell you whether you do or don't have it, only a test can.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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