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advice from discordant heterosexual couples, please

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By the way I am the boyfriend of Juliette( or I was). I can understand both of you. Actually I asked her to post here to understand more about the subject. Now Im kinda regret about that. I think it didnt help her neither me.
I got educated about HIV because I really needed since I will live for my whole life with that. I spent so many hours reading everything about. She didnt but she knows many things that I told her.
I think this forum is not the place to discuss about if someone is worth for someone or not. I am sure she is worth for me and  I love her. She has many bad things like everybody has and we need to accept as long as we can afford it. It is true that she is kinda selfish(you could realize on the post) but I accept that. I have my bad things and she accepted as well. What she didnt accept was my disease.
I had 3 long-term relationship and by far this one was the best. We respected each other, we loved each other, we had good sex, we were really partners.
The point here is that I want to proove to her that chances of become infected are close to ZERO as long as I am undectable and we have use condoms all the time we have sex.
I think im Inteligent and so are the swiss doctors whom said that as long as u are for 6 months undectable, no other STI, the person adheres to antiretroviral therapy we are sexually non-infectious. Im not a doctor but I  believe on that. If not they wouldnt suggest to their patients to have sex without condom just to have a happier life. If they did that and that wasnt true they would be really reckless and they were playing with many lifes. SO I really believe on that.
I just think this is not a worldwide consensus because it would help to spread other disease or even the HIV(people who doesnt follow the suggestion like it has to be. I agree with that.
But Im planning to use condom for my whole life so Im so sure that I WONT infect someone.
I would apreccitate if people with large experience come here to explain to my girlfriend more about the chances of get infected and the possibilty of having babies(what I am  sure its totally possible)

Thanks pek, u know u are my fifth long term relationship and by far the best one (imagine how bad had been all the previous ones, No, I'm kidding, it's a joke, u know me). I really regret having posted anything here.

Sorry you regret posting.

Don't give up on each other!

Pek is right in what he says. Juliette, I don't think you're selfish- you are just coming to terms with a new and frightening (and yes, it is frightening at first, no matter what anyone says) situation. Don't be hard on yourself. Give it time. You will be suprised how normal it gets!

You two obviously care very much for each other. Just decide for now to go on this journey together. Sex is not the most important thing in the world, love is, and I think you guys have it.

And yes, you can have babies safely.

I wish you lot's of happiness (together!)

Im in a serodiscordant relationship for almost a year.  Ive been diagnosed for 18 months and I disclosed her before we started together.  We both decided to avoid completely any penetration, including with condom, because of my fears to infect her and because of her fears to be infected; it is our chose.  For sure, we could use condoms and the risk will be near zero...  We descovered that there are most important things between us than only sex; and in regard with sex, well, there are many other way to enjoy it...

What has been difficult, partcularly for my, is to start living with HIV and the changes in regard to it...  Only time makes things quietest and it has been a good thing for me to avoid taking presurated decisions just after my diagnostic.  Taking a lot with my girlfriend has helped me a lot, she is always here to listen for me and myself for her...  This meritate some life adjustments...  Time helps a lot....

It has also been the possibility por definate priorities, I m most clear about my life priorities now and work for them...

About having children, you can have some safety...

It is important for you to get educated and to have the possibility to aclarate your doubts, it is also so important to be very open in your relation in regard to HIV and what it means...  There are many serodiscordant couple that have a very happy life, I hope this will happen to you too, HIV dont change the people you are and should not affect love...


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