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i just tested do i tell my bf

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today i found out i was hiv positive....20yo old and turning 21 in a fw weeks....happy bday to me.

Now my question is how do i tell my bf of 3 years?
He was my first everything...kiss, sex, relationship
Now i have to tell him that i tested positive

We got tested after i fucked up a few years ago and everything ws good except i got indeterminate results for 22 weeks...From everything i was told that ruled out infection

I was soo happy to move on with him and get engaged...then I got a letter from my doctor to follow up the indeterminate results and i did...Now I'm Hiv positive...

What kills me is not that I have it...its the fear that he may have it and how i will tell him....i live with him and his family and they treat me like their own...its going to kill me telling him tonite, but he deserves that and nothing else...Im terrified that he will leave me but i do deserve that and i can't blame him for doing so...i was going to sit him down with his mom and tell them both but i am terrified of doing so only bc i love him so much and can't stand my broken heart...please any advice will be appreciated

Miss Philicia:
There's not much advice to give, except that you don't have much of a choice. You're just going to have to sit him down and be ready for an emotional, uncomfortable discussion. The degree of how heightened the emotion and discomfort will be can vary widely.

IMO, the more you procrastinate doing it the more anxious it will make you and so for me I'd just dive into the pool and get it over with.

no i know i don't have a choice and I'm fully aware that i need to tell him
i want to tell him when he gets home I'm just scared sick...i hate myself for this...he doesn't deserve this

It seems like the kind of thing you should tell him one on one and "sit him down with his mom".

This sounds really difficult.  I would call him and tell him that you need to talk to him and his mother in person and it's very serious.  At least for me I've found that when I give people time to prepare for something it goes better.

Speak with honesty, with your heart, and put everything that he (and they) need to know out there. 

My heart goes out to you -- this is a tough road in the beginning.  But it really does get better.  Hang in there and life will be good again.  Pulling for you.


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