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Author Topic: Newly POZ, LONG story, read if you have time. ADVICE?  (Read 4060 times)

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Newly POZ, LONG story, read if you have time. ADVICE?
« on: October 05, 2012, 06:37:22 AM »
 I have not told ANYONE about my HIV, and I’m feeling alone.  I’m in school Full time and my school work is taking a hit because I’m trying to cope with this life changing event and I don’t know how to tell family. Friends I will wait, but family I need for mental/emotional support. IDK any one has advice to coming out with HIV, side note, they know and is accepting that I’m gay. But my moms had a brother in law died of AIDS in the early 90's and that really hurt her. So I don’t know how she would take this, I’m the youngest and the closest to her. Go figure and I’m gay lol. Well any advice to any of this would be appreciated since I have not told this story to anyone in my day to day life. It feels really good to get this out. Thanks for listening. PS im a open book, so ask me any questions that might help.
« Last Edit: October 05, 2012, 04:36:51 PM by PAWSBOISE »

Offline wolfter

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Re: Newly POZ, LONG story, read if you have time. ADVICE?
« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2012, 07:09:36 AM »
First, welcome to the forums.  I hate to start this out with a criticism, but can you possibly go in and edit your post in the form of paragraphs?  You'll get more responses if it reads easier.  A lot of us are older and have vision issues.

I managed to read most of your post before it got all blurry.  Your doctor is correct, it's not the end of the world.  Sounds like you're already being proactive doing a lot of research.

Best wishes.

Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline weasel

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Re: Newly POZ, LONG story, read if you have time. ADVICE?
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2012, 06:40:29 PM »

       Hi  PAWSBOISE  ,
                                     Nice to meet you  :)

       Tell your Mother , She loves you and it is the right thing to do .

     I have no doubt things will be fine .   Today it is a set back , But not what your
    Mother delt with way back when .

     I  told all my relatives when I went AIDS 8 years ago .  I had no bad responses from anyone , Unfortunately I had lost my Mother already , But I know she would have been supportive  ;)

     I'm wishing you the best in your adjustment  , It gets better .

         Life is good , You will be fine  , and must be able to tell your Mother that you will be OK !   
           Hope to hear more .

                                                                 Weasel  :-*

   P.s  :  Many people dis-like my writing style .... IDNC !*

" Live and let Live "

Offline Ann

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Re: Newly POZ, LONG story, read if you have time. ADVICE?
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2012, 08:14:02 AM »
Hi Paws, welcome to the forums.

Carl is right - being diagnosed in 2012 is nothing like being diagnosed in the early 90s or in the 80s. Back then we didn't have effective treatments, but today we do and there's no reason to think you won't live a normal life-span.

Having hiv still has its challenges, but nothing like the early days.

When you tell your mother, make sure she understands that there are effective treatments available now (unlike in her brother-in-law's time) and many people are living good lives today, in spite of hiv. You can too.

Hang in there, it does get better.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline synergyhomepage

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Re: Newly POZ, LONG story, read if you have time. ADVICE?
« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2012, 04:17:49 PM »
Telling others , mothers specifically can  scared the bejeebees out of me, it took me 18 years, and untill I was so sick I could not even hardly move and she confronted me I kept it from her. 

WOW, well she had suspected it for a long time and when she found out she was on the phone getting me the help I needed and I wish I would have told here sooner rather than waiting till I did. 

There is a special love parents and family have for you, don't underestimate their ability for compassion, it was not easy for them, and although not everyone has an experience like that, all you can do is be honest and help them educate themselves. 

We really are in a unique place now with an average lifetime expected, sure there will be hurdles, and sometimes we fall off the horse, but we get back on and keep on going, we learn and go on. 

I have found having to not hide it has allowed me to use it to help others and although not everyone will be accepting, keeping it all inside can have its own ramifications.

Be good to yourself.  Welcome,  many hear know what you are going thru,  dont forget to smile when you can, it does make things better. ;)

Offline wolfter

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Re: Newly POZ, LONG story, read if you have time. ADVICE?
« Reply #5 on: October 08, 2012, 07:31:03 AM »

   P.s  :  Many people dis-like my writing style .... IDNC !*

Oh dearest Carl, I wasn't trying to be critical.  Before the post was edited, it was difficult to read and I worried that others would just skim past it.  I hope I didn't come across as an ass.  That surely was not my intent. ;)
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.


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