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Positive and Lonely ..is it always gonna be like this?

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tornbutnotbroken:
Positive for the past 4 years ...but the last year 1/2 has been the worst
I'VE lost some friends ...and the one friend I though I had recently had a baby and her
Husband does not approve of me being around his newborn (she was supposed to
be my godchild) oh well.My family is there for me but every time I'm around
They give me this look of disappointmentand that "I'm so sorry for her look "

I've never felt so lonely in my life..my spirits are as high as I
Can get them..I'm in this relationship with someone that
is never there for me emotionally or much of anything elseI I think I
hang on there with him because I'm afraid of being absolutely alone
They say HIV is no longer a death sentence but it has killed my spirit and energy

TORNBUTNOTBROKEN .. .. yet
Hoping

emeraldize:
Welcome Torn,

It does seem as if it never ends. That had to sting that your friend's husband doesn't want you near the baby. Perhaps over time he'll get some education and get past his fear.

Have you considered how unhealthy it is to stay with a man whom you say is distant just because you don't want to be alone? It's unhealthy for both of you actually.

You might discover the splendid clarity and strength, even enjoyment, that comes with being on your own--can you swing it economically? If that is not a factor in your decision to stay then why not liberate yourself and him. That way, each of you is free to find the person with whom you might love instead of merely tolerate.

Positive may not be forever if folks keep progressing on research. But since it looks like it's got a long future, your best shot at success is to work on the loneliness issue.

Em

lovelove:
Hi There!

Please leave the guy you are with.  My boyfriend is positive and prior to meeting me he was in a relationship with someone that treated him badly.  If it wasnt for his strength to leave that bad relationship we would have never met.  I am so glad that he left that woman because he opened the door for an opportunity for us to meet.  I am not sure who you believe in as your higher power but you will find that when you step out of faith and believe in what seems to be the impossible your wildest dreams will come true.  I am sooooo happy with my man and I know he is happy with me as well.  We found true love and you can too.  There are people out there that can see beyond an HIV+ status. I am a believer that those who seek to mistreat or alienate people who have a illness whether it be cancer, HIV or diabetes are ignorant. The reality of it is we are all people and we all deserve love.  I personally was not educated on HIV when I met my boyfriend.  The last thing I learned about HIV was back when I was in school.  But his honesty about his status and my open mind moved me to give us a chance.  Early on he immediately took me to his doctor after he advised me to do my own research so that I could ask questions and learn about his medical history and how HIV has affected him personally. 

I believe in you and know that you can be strong and stand up for yourself.  As for your friend whose husband doesnt want you around their newborn, you ahve to pray for them and there mishaps because he too will be judged by the measure that he judges others.  I am sending yu a big hug and pray for you to remain strong.  Yu can do this and you are not alone.

tornbutnotbroken:
I thank you both for listening ..and I took those suggestions to heart
First I started with my Boyfriend and after a much needed conversation
We've decided to remain friends as he looks for a place to stay.
I have to say we have been talking much more since then
Actually went out to dinner first time in 3months.

I will say I'm scared as heck when he leaves.
So I'm trying to work on staying positive!

Hopefully I can find a support group in my area ..
That would really help

Torn

emeraldize:
Congratulations on moving forward, rather swiftly!

You had dinner, too?

This is looking up for both of you. Torn but not Forlorn either!

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