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Author Topic: Just started  (Read 1850 times)

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Offline justV

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Just started
« on: September 26, 2012, 03:55:58 PM »
Hello,
I recently tested positive (8/17/2012)  for HIV and my doctor started me on Complera since my CD4 was 397 and VL 18,000.  This has been quiet a stressful time as you can imagine with first testing positive and then having to start treatment right away. I went through the whole phases people have: defeat, scared, death, shame and some suicidal thoughts but ultimately i wanted to fight this disease and enjoy life. So today marks my 2nd day on complera and i haven't notice any side effects but yet again i just started. I been trying to deal with this with the help of a couple of closed friends but i feel so guilty not telling my mom about it. I wanted to tell her after i received the results from being on Complera but I really feel like i want her there with me. Sometimes motherly love is better than any kind of reassurance from friends or doctors. I been on the fence about it for awhile now and one of the main reason is that i don't want my mom to worry, so should i let her know now or wait until I get my 2nd results after starting Complera. Also since I'm usually not a breakfast eater ( didn't wan to take the night time pill since i heard it causes more side effects) will a bowl of cereal be enough to take Complera with? 
                             
                                         Thanks,
                                             JustV


Online mecch

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Re: Just started
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2012, 04:06:49 PM »
I am sorry that you have to go through this shocking adjustment.

It seems you are ok with your mom knowing, meaning it doesn't present downsides for you and plenty of upsides.  You are very kind to think about your mom's anxiety level, but really, moms are equipped to deal.  Many times, most times, when moms find out shocking news about their children, YES, they worry, but they want to know.  Many times moms say, I am glad you told me, thank you, and it's a pity you didn't tell me sooner.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Just started
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2012, 04:52:58 PM »
Hello!

Wow, that IS a lot to handle at once. Glad you are coping as well as you are - and thanks for deciding to stick around.

I think if you ask any of the MANY moms on this forum (one of our moderators is a mom) then they will tell you that they would be pissed off NOT to know. Your mom is going to worry about you no matter what. It's part of the job.

I told mom and dad the first weekend after my diagnosis, and they have been my closest, best allies in this thing for about two decades now. It actually made our relationship a lot stronger. Of course, every family is different, but it seems to me that you have a mom who cares about you. You have to decide, but you might not be doing her - or yourself - big favors by shutting her out. Moms tend to know when their kids have something going on.

As for the Complera, it's always a good idea to equate "take with food" to "make sure it's about 400 calories and has a little (not too much) fat." This helps elements in the medication absorb properly into the bloodtream. Too little food might mean too much medication is released at once = side effects.

So as your mom might or might not ever say/have said, eat! You're skin and bones! Or whatnot. You are on a fantastic regimen that is VERY well tolerated. Your doctor seems VERY proactive, as your numbers are a little on the fence to dictate treatment, yet it's never a BAD idea to start. You might even find, as many do, that your energy level goes up after a few weeks on meds.

Also, IF (big if) you experience any side effects, they are very likely going to go away after a couple of weeks. It's AMAZING how far we have come to create medical treatment that really minimizes those. Just don't freak out if you happen to get some sleep disturbances or a bit of the runs. It's been my experience that they almost always go away very quickly.

Again, welcome to the forums. If you get a few hours/days/weeks, you might want to start just perusing the site to look at your treatment, read about other people's experiences, and get all the science you want under your belt. The learning curve might be a little steep but you will be glad you did.





"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline justV

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Re: Just started
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2012, 05:22:54 PM »
Thank you all for the replies. Yea I decided to tell her by this weekend . It feels like coming out all over again but this time much worst.hopefully she won't freak out and try to send  me  to see a priest again lol. Jk. Laughter helps me. Thanks again!

Online mecch

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Re: Just started
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2012, 06:45:06 PM »
Just curious, how old are you if you feel like answering?

Why did mom try to send you to a priest?  Well, you can always say no thanks.  Or go to the priest and tell him all your truths, and if the priest is a jerk and has nothing to say that helps you, he can shove it. 
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Ann

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Re: Just started
« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2012, 07:56:24 AM »
Hi V, welcome to the forums.

You can find out about what constitutes a 400 calorie meal here - http://www.complera.com/hiv-treatment-diet/

I'm not a breakfast eater either and I have to take my Prezista with a bit of food, although there isn't the strict calorie requirement with Prezista. I take it at lunch. Is there any reason you can't take yours at lunch instead of breakfast?

If you're at work then, don't worry about taking a pill and people seeing you do it. Most people won't comment but if someone does, say it's a vitamin or something. Or cough in their direction and tell them it's your TB meds. ;D After all, it's none of their damn business what you're taking. It's easier than you might think to take a pill in public - and have nobody notice.

I think you're doing the right thing in telling your mother. Expect some questions about prognosis, so be prepared for that. Let her know you're going to be ok - because you are. I know I'd want to know if my daughter ended up poz and I'd be devastated if she didn't tell me.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline justV

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Re: Just started
« Reply #6 on: September 28, 2012, 01:46:48 PM »
@ Ann, Thanks Ann, that link was really helpful. The reason i was taking it at breakfast was because thats when i thought i should take it but I think lunch sounds like  a much better idea. I wonder if i could just start taking it during lunch instead of breakfast from now on?

@Mecch, I'm 27 years old, I came out to my mom when i was 17. Back then she wanted me to see priest to "cured" me. lol so i was just alluding  to that since it felt like coming out all over again.

Online mecch

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Re: Just started
« Reply #7 on: September 28, 2012, 01:55:09 PM »

@Mecch, I'm 27 years old, I came out to my mom when i was 17. Back then she wanted me to see priest to "cured" me. lol so i was just alluding  to that since it felt like coming out all over again.

hehe.  Does she still think your being gay needs curing?  Well you can always point out to her, that being gay doesn't need curing. 

And sadly neither catholic bishops nor the most charming New Orleans santeria healers can cure HIV. 
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline darryaz

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Re: Just started
« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2012, 04:36:36 PM »
Remember, your Mom is from a different generation than you are.

I mentioned to my Mom today that I was going on a date this weekend and she immediately said, "Don't tell your father." 

Which is laughable because my dad is much more liberal than she is.

When I reminded her that keeping my sexuality a secret implies that there's something wrong with it, she immediately apologized and admitted that she was completely wrong.

My Mom is actually extremely accepting - she just had a slip-up today.  I'm sure it was because she was raised in the South in the 40's and 50's.

So I think you should tell your Mom and then give her time to adjust.

Offline britchick

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Re: Just started
« Reply #9 on: September 29, 2012, 01:37:36 AM »
Hi justV!

Sounds like your mum cares about you.....and im  pretty sure that she will support you.My mum is from that generation too...she's in her late sixties..... .and "old school"...but so supportive.

Please post back here .Best Wishes.


Britchickx

Offline Ann

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Re: Just started
« Reply #10 on: September 29, 2012, 06:57:42 AM »

@ Ann, Thanks Ann, that link was really helpful. The reason i was taking it at breakfast was because thats when i thought i should take it but I think lunch sounds like  a much better idea. I wonder if i could just start taking it during lunch instead of breakfast from now on?


You're welcome, V.

You can either just switch directly to taking it at lunch, or you could take it in-between one day (with a mid-morning snack) and then at lunch the next.

What's most important is that you're taking it once a day, every day, around the same time and with food. A couple hours difference once in a while isn't going to be a problem.

I'd go with the direct switch myself.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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