Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
September 17, 2014, 02:15:45 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 639102
  • Total Topics: 48516
  • Online Today: 218
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 2
Guests: 174
Total: 176

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics  (Read 29995 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #300 on: October 05, 2012, 06:06:51 AM »
I watched the debate with some friends and tortured them with comments like Mittens really is making some good points , maybe we should vote for him .

Half way into the debate one of my buds was so aggravated we had to take his blood pressure . 

Diabolical!
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline DiabloII

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
  • Life is a Battle Field
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #301 on: October 08, 2012, 12:52:02 AM »
I accept FULL responsibility for my actions of becoming positive.  I too wish the guy who infected me had told me he was poz!  I would have done things differently.  He had known for some time that he was poz but didn't think it was important to say anything.  But again, I assumed he was neg so I can't say it is all his fault!  It's my body and I should have protected it by not having unprotected sex!

What scares me the most is the possibility I WOULD GIVE SOMEONE ELSE HIV!  I would not want to do that for any reason!  Its hard to imagine that anyone else would consciously do so!!

It is strange that a healthcare provider who is responsible for treating you first and foremost because you are his patient, would take this attitude.  I was diagnosed 6-6-12, one of the first things my doc said to me after saying he was sorry was asked if I knew who did it and encouraged me to prosecute the guy!  I thought that was odd since I made the choice to have unprotected sex and I told him so!  Needless to say, he neversaid another word about it!  It was just as much my fault as it was the guy who gave it to me!  However, I am the better person since I will not judgethe guy but rather I accept fault for my own actions!

Offline MarcoPoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 396
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #302 on: October 08, 2012, 01:48:15 PM »
A few things come to mind after reading every post in this thread:

Hats off to the moderators here.  Thank you for allowing this discussion to continue despite a bit of bad behavior on the part of some.  Thanks for calling out the feather fluffers when needed, but still allowing all positions to be openly aired.

As always...Ann...you ROCK!

I'm an LTSr and have struggled internally and externally with the moral and ethical labryinth that has been shared in this thread.  The only axiom I've come up with is, whenever someone says that living with HIV is 'chronic and manageable' they have NO idea what they're talking about.  Many times it has felt that HIV has invaded or had to be dealth with, in almost every aspect of my life:  Emotional, intellectual, physical, psychological, philosophical and of course, sexual.  Nothing about living with HIV, for me, has been anything like 'easy'.

In all these areas I've made some bad decisions for good reasons--as well as some good decisions.  Now I've dealt with enough of it to look back over it and see the arc of how and where my decisons were made and where they came from.  My hopes are that knowledge of this will help me with my future decisions.

I can freely admit that the deeply intimate, lustful, romantic and visceral act of having sex free of latex barriers and sharing everything with my sexual partner, including our cum, is one of the blessing I think I get for being human--but also something that fills me with as much fear as it does longing.  I have mitigated risks and live with something 'eh, close enough'.  That's my decision and there isn't anything good/bad or right or wrong with it--just my opinion.

Right now, I'm trying not to stare at my phone and will it to ring.  I'm waiting the results of a biopsy of a tumor in my head--one that has made me quite deaf in one ear.  I've named the tumor, Glen.  My hope is that Glen is nothing more than a bulbous friend who has stayed too long on my couch and needs to be removed--not causing any ill effects in his leaving.

If it is cancer--then there are options.  Just like I've had to make with HIV.  I'm used to this and though it may sound like I'm being cavalier, which I'm not.  I still just live as much as I can today.

The reason for my little schpeel here:  I want to live a full life.  I have always lived a full life.  I decided that I would live life as if I would starve to death if I didn't suck every drop of the syrup each day gives, leaving nothing to go unexperienced.  Yes, that changed for me, especially sexually after my HIV diagnosis.  But it can be moderated so that my partner is fully aware and in control of what she/he enjoys with me, and I with them.

Live long--live full. ;-) 

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #303 on: October 08, 2012, 05:22:19 PM »
You and I literally walk the earth today because of the "bad behavior" of others.

I'm starting to find my inner Moffie easier and easier to channel. There's absolutely a place and time for bad behavior. It's usually when people are going to be aghast at it.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline ds4146

  • Member
  • Posts: 317
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #304 on: October 08, 2012, 10:18:34 PM »
Marco sorry to hear this happening to you and hope the phone call was better news than one might think. Your post was....very heartfelt. Be good to yourself and take care, wishing the best!

Offline MarcoPoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 396
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #305 on: October 11, 2012, 10:54:51 AM »
Good news.  The tumor in my head isn't cancerous!

Offline bocker3

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,386
  • You gotta enjoy life......
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #306 on: October 11, 2012, 05:11:21 PM »
Good news.  The tumor in my head isn't cancerous!

Woo Hoo -- great news indeed!!
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,705
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #307 on: October 12, 2012, 07:32:48 AM »


  Good stuff, glad to hear the news Marco.  You should celebrate by drenching someone with your bodily fluids. ;)  Pictures of course....
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline MarcoPoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 396
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #308 on: October 20, 2012, 03:31:50 PM »
Oh Thomas---I definitely plan to! ;-)

Online elf

  • Member
  • Posts: 607
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #309 on: October 25, 2012, 06:44:45 AM »
Protected sex should be practiced.

Philosophically speaking, automatically/obligatory/imposed disclosure is part of imposing slave morality on the doer of the action. Those who think disclosure is not obligatory while practicing sex with condoms have master morality:

Quote
Master-slave morality is a central theme of Friedrich Nietzsche's works, in particular the first essay of On the Genealogy of Morality. Nietzsche argued that there were two fundamental types of morality: 'Master morality' and 'slave morality'. Master morality weighs actions on a scale of good or bad consequences unlike slave morality which weighs actions on a scale of good or evil intentions.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master%E2%80%93slave_morality


You should also read this:
Morality is modified in the lab
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8593748.stm

Magnetic field affects your morality. That's why my morality changes a lot.
1) Sometimes I strongly believe I should disclose before having sex, even when condoms are used (so, I put myself in a slave position, the rights of the sexual partner are more important than my right of keeping my information to myself)
2) Sometimes I strongly believe I should not disclose (so, I put myself in a master position, my rights are more important than the rights of the sexual partner)

In my country, there are no disclosure laws (only intentional transmission without use of condoms can get you charged), but I still have trouble balancing my slave and my master morality (apparently I'm under influences of various magnetic fields),so I have been abstaining from sex for 4.5 years (ever since I got the virus).

Take care, and focus on good things in life.
More meditation, less gym.
Throw away your TVs (mind control machines), and your cellphones (tracking devices).

Believe in Love.

« Last Edit: October 25, 2012, 07:01:08 AM by elf »
Let's have a Kiki!

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,660
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #310 on: October 25, 2012, 06:50:50 AM »
Elf are you getting some?  Last I remember, you had been celibate since diagnosis.  Maybe I'm remembering completely wrong. 
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline phildinftlaudy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,965
  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #311 on: October 25, 2012, 06:54:48 AM »
Penguins and horses are two of my favorite animals....

Penguins are so fun and playful - yet have a slight aura of dignity...
And horses - so majestic and calm, yet strong.

Yep - I love penguins and horses.
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline Raf

  • Member
  • Posts: 256
  • Bald by choice
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #312 on: October 25, 2012, 07:40:35 AM »
never mind, my bad. This thread should die already.
« Last Edit: October 25, 2012, 07:54:03 AM by Raf »
Dx: 05/14/2008
Latest HIV Meds combo I've been taking:

Kaletra + Combivir (since 05/16/2008 - today)

Offline Zohar

  • Member
  • Posts: 247
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #313 on: October 25, 2012, 07:52:08 PM »
I've not been here for a while so surprised, albeit pleasantly so, to find this thread is still going. It's obviously a discussion worth having.
''Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another.''

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,705
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #314 on: October 25, 2012, 08:30:32 PM »
Penguins and horses are two of my favorite animals....

Penguins are so fun and playful - yet have a slight aura of dignity...
And horses - so majestic and calm, yet strong.

Yep - I love penguins and horses.

Perhaps with global warming the two will be able to mate.  Horsquins would be like the coolest animals on earth, only warmer!
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #315 on: October 26, 2012, 12:00:09 AM »
Perhaps with global warming the two will be able to mate.  Horsquins would be like the coolest animals on earth, only warmer!

Imagine an Olympic Water Polo with Horsequins! SOme asshat would likely crossbreed with a Killer Whale though, and ruin it. And then date Sheryl Crow.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #316 on: October 26, 2012, 06:19:51 AM »

I've not been here for a while so surprised, albeit pleasantly so, to find this thread is still going. It's obviously a discussion worth having.


Actually, the last 30 posts have had little to do with the original subject.

It's time this was locked.

*click*
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,692
Re: Unprotected sex, disclosure and sexual health clinics
« Reply #317 on: October 26, 2012, 08:50:21 AM »
Ann wins the day! LOL LOL LOL Go, Ann!
Andy Velez

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.