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Author Topic: .  (Read 2390 times)

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Offline Alain

  • Member
  • Posts: 680
  • I am.
.
« on: October 06, 2006, 10:34:45 AM »
.
« Last Edit: November 03, 2006, 06:30:06 PM by cowandalehouse »

Offline ademas

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,151
Re: Who am I? A journey. Is there is life after deaf? Long story
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2006, 10:54:08 AM »
I was very moved by this, Alain.  Thanks for sharing so honestly.
Happy Thanksgiving.
xox

Offline wellington

  • Member
  • Posts: 508
  • Don't sweat the little things.
Re: Who am I? A journey. Is there is life after deaf? Long story
« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2006, 11:25:37 AM »
You have such a joyful expression and smile in your photo that it's hard to believe it masks such sorrow and pain. I can commiserate that the journey is tough at times.  However, you seem to have quite a solid grasp of avenues to explore and things to do or consider to help you find the peace and happiness for which you seek. I wish you well, Alain, and a Happy Thanksgiving.

*hugs*

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: Who am I? A journey. Is there is life after deaf? Long story
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2006, 11:38:01 AM »
Alain,

You touched my heart!

Happy Thanksgiving

Big Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline LatinAlexander

  • Member
  • Posts: 599
  • Bogota, Colombia
Re: Who am I? A journey. Is there is life after deaf? Long story
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2006, 01:50:53 PM »
FROM FAG TO FAG....

HUGE F*CKING HUG FOR YOU


Alex
Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....

Offline angels4kelly

  • Member
  • Posts: 305
  • IT JUST IS!!.....OKAY!
Re: Who am I? A journey. Is there is life after deaf? Long story
« Reply #5 on: October 06, 2006, 02:33:15 PM »
Thank you so much for sharing, Alain.

Your story was so touching and I feel you showed alot of courage to open your soul up like that for us. 

THANK YOU AGAIN, ALAIN!!

Peace,
Kelly
POSITIVE SINCE-10/1990
CD4-610
CD4%-29.3
VL-UNDETECTABLE
VIREAD,VIRACEPT, EPZICOM

MOST RECENT...
10/9/2006
CD4's-714
CD4%-30%
VL-Undetectable
DIAGNOSES POSITIVE 10/90
SAME MEDS, VIREAD, VIRAMUNE, EPZICOM.

SHOOT FOR THE MOON! YOU MAY MISS,
BUT YOU'LL LAND IN THE STARS :)

Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.
 
Failure is not in falling down,
but the staying down

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: Who am I? A journey. Is there is life after deaf? Long story
« Reply #6 on: October 06, 2006, 02:44:09 PM »
Alain, 

This is very hard to read Alain, not because of its length, but because of its truth.  Your words, your feelings strikes home to all those who are reading this.   I am sitting here at work between journal entries crying cuz I don’t know what to say or how to say it.   It would have been better to hear you say this to me and everyone else in person.   But that’s just not possible.  Within the text of your feelings, you clearly define yourself as a loving, caring and beautiful person who is deserving of everything your hopes and dreams yearn for.   This is the man I know as Alain..

Alain, we have so many commonalities.   I feel fortunate to know you.  Not many people can lay their lives out on the table for all to see.  You have just done that for us.  Maybe to better yourself, but I think personally to help us find our own path, our road that is as happy as it can be.   I realize the trials you are dealing with this year with your hearing loss.  But you know what??  That changes nothing in my mind nor of others here taking in your concerns and reflections.

Can I say in truth that you are loved and respected by so many here.  If that is true thru this means of communications,  I can only imagine how loved you are in person.  To touch you, to feel you in person would be a goal of mine personally.  You have a big hug coming your way. 

Finally,  I had to print out your thread to really be able to follow it (add).  Alain,  you already have a plan, goals and realities spelled out within your text.   Go back and read how beautiful you truly are.   

Know that you are so NOT alone honey, and yes, this TO SHALL PASS!

Love


Eric

PS... My Dad told me this once...  "Eric the definition of insanity is - Doing the same thing over and over and over again expecting a different result".  I know this is where I fuck up... I have to try new ways of approaching a problem, a challenge, otherwise, I will fail just like I did before...  Thanks Dad..
« Last Edit: October 06, 2006, 03:16:41 PM by Eric »

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: Who am I? A journey. Is there is life after deaf? Long story
« Reply #7 on: October 06, 2006, 03:38:10 PM »
Alain sweety - Your honesty and courage to move forward are beautiful and inspirational ... Thank you darling

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,604
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Who am I? A journey. Is there is life after deaf? Long story
« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2006, 04:45:11 PM »
Dear Alain,

a very heartfelt and touching post, and I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!   We do have much to be thankful for, sometimes we just have to dig a little deeper to see it.

hugs,

Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Sky

  • Member
  • Posts: 225
    • Myspace
Re: Who am I? A journey. Is there is life after deaf? Long story
« Reply #9 on: October 06, 2006, 05:55:09 PM »
Thank you so much for sharing Alain.  Reading your post really struck a nerve for me.  Much of the things you've gone through or felt have been many of the same emotions or actions that have happened in my life.  You sound like such a caring person always doing things for others...take a step back and do things for yourself.  You should come first.  I know that may sound harsh, but I used to never do things for myself ever, always for other people.  Testing poz was my reality check that it was time for me to care for me, too.  You don't have to do anything over the top, just little things.  Treat yourself to a new outfit, dinner, or (yes I know it's gay) a facial.  Things that spark life within you.  Set aside time as you time.  You sound like you have a lot to be thankful for, just gotta dust the cobwebs of the dark place off.  You're a strong man Alain, hang in there babe, it'll pass.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Charlie
Poz since 2003.

Offline ndrew

  • Member
  • Posts: 695
  • ....-.-.-.-.-.....
Re: Who am I? A journey. Is there is life after deaf? Long story
« Reply #10 on: October 06, 2006, 09:38:57 PM »
Nice to know the rich complexity behind the smiling face.  And although you are very different in terms of the challenges of life.  Your needs and desires resonate with many.  Thank you for sharing your life experience with us...

Drew

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: Who am I? A journey. Is there is life after deaf? Long story
« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2006, 12:40:43 PM »
bump

Offline Nadine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,253
  • Member since: August 2005
Re: Who am I? A journey. Is there is life after deaf? Long story
« Reply #12 on: October 07, 2006, 01:01:39 PM »
Thanks so much for sharing your journey with us Alain...I was truly moved.




now listening to: Everybody Hurts by REM

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: Who am I? A journey. Is there is life after deaf? Long story
« Reply #13 on: October 07, 2006, 01:16:40 PM »


HUGS, Alain
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline zozo

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Who am I? A journey. Is there is life after deaf? Long story
« Reply #14 on: October 08, 2006, 02:10:52 AM »
Alain, I couldn't finish your post, tears streaming down my face , thinking of the similarities with my lif as a whole. You are not alone in that journey. After all the suffering and later have to deal with your health. Your opst define me. Thanks for sharing this with us. Now I know I'm not alone in this journey. I respect you for that. Shine Alain shine. A big hug for you and happy Thanks giving.

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,936
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Who am I? A journey. Is there is life after deaf? Long story
« Reply #15 on: October 08, 2006, 04:14:09 AM »
Dearest Alain

 :'(..If only I had "Savoir-faire"..but right now I'm sadly lacking that ability..like everyone here, your post touched my heart,  I can only hope that the road you are on now will become less bumpy as time passes..I hope you can feel the love that is coming through from all those who have posted...I wish for you all that you wish for yourself.

Sending you love and warm hugs

Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: Who am I? A journey. Is there is life after deaf? Long story
« Reply #16 on: October 08, 2006, 04:16:00 AM »
Happy Thanksgiving, Alain.

Many things you wrote are who I am too – the family history (I'm second of five kids), the being hard on you, seeking understanding through psychotherapy, and especially this:

“I am aware of my surroundings and space and can be a loner at times and I do enjoy being alone and I never get bored.”

Daniel in Ottawa

MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

 


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