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Author Topic: How I view my Life with AIDs  (Read 2268 times)

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Offline slimbimale

  • Member
  • Posts: 15
  • Tested Oct 21 1994 ( A New Life Begins )
How I view my Life with AIDs
« on: September 29, 2006, 02:29:55 AM »

Hi My name is Jim and this is how I view my life with AIDS

I am coming up on 12 yrs of Living with AIDS ( Or as I say AIDS has to live with me and that can be a Bitch )..Oct 21 1994 ..about 2.10 pm Friday afternoon ..I tested Poz for what back then was called " Full Blown AIDS " Some still say it today ..some say Advance AIDS ..but that's another blog ....lol...I tested with 34 T cells and my % was 2 ..They didn't do Viral Loads back then ..And I was told that I had between 6 months to a year to live ..Because back then with those kinds of numbers ...that's about all the avg person did live ..Before this day I never knew any one that was living with HIV/AIDS or anyone that pasted from it ..It was all new to me , I knew AZT was one of the drugs people took for it and I knew some of the ways a person contracted the Virus and that's about it ..As you can Imagine..I was one scared young man ..Exactly one month before my 31 Birthday I had to deal with a Killer I didn't know much about ...Except at that time , It was a death sentence ..I was Feeling and Dealing with Every kind of emotion there was ..And they came in with Avengeans...And they came is all at once ..I was Scared and Angry at the same time ..Scared of the fact death was at my Door step and Angry enough that if the person infected me was standing there I would have pulled the trigger and never thought twice about it .( And I had a 40 cali hand gun in the car at that time ) Sitting in my car in the Doctors parking lot ..I knew then I was going to need help with this one ..So I said aloud " GOD I NEED YOUR HELP " And within Minutes..I Starting thinking clearer and calming down enough that I went on to work ..( I worked 2nd shift at that time ) had to be there at 3.30 pm ,  and I  was still on time for work ...lol....I checked the local paper for support groups and walked in one that Sunday evening ...Over the years my views and Opinions of HIV/AIDS...changed ..At first I wanted nothing to do with sex ..It was sex that got me  here in the first place , Then came a time that I would only date people that was POZ ..And that lasted for a long time ...The last thing I wanted to do was to put someone that I love at risk for Infection,  and To go through this to ..Then came a point where I not only Accepted  death ..But also Accepted Myself and My life with AIDS ..And I was determined NOT to let AIDS tell me How I was going to Live , How I was going to Die or Who I was going to spend my Life with ...AIDS is a part of me ..I am not a part of AIDS ..And during these years ..AIDS taught me that My life, My Friends and Family , And Everything In my Life from the Air that I breath to the water that I drink ..The sun that's Shines and the Rain that falls ..To the Colors of everything in the world when I look at it ..It's  ALL a BLESSING ...And not to take nothing for granted ..Today was a gift ..Tomorrow is Promised to no one ...AIDS is my little Buddy ..it goes with me everywhere I go ..See's  and does what I do ..But ..It has to live with me and that can be it's worse nightmare ..Because that's not an easy thing to do ...lol....And yes ..AIDS took a lot of friends away ..Caused a lot of pain ....But I also look at  .. Who is the one in pain ???? Who is here dealing with all of the problems of everyday life ???Their  pain is gone ..And so are their problems ....I guess because I have Accepted Death is a part of Life ..It doesn't  strike that fear in  me , that I see it has on some people ..Yes I will still cry and hurt when Someone I know or Love passes on ..But I remind myself Where they are ...And where I am ..
Let Go and Let GOD

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,399
Re: How I view my Life with AIDs
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2006, 08:26:47 AM »
Hi Jim,

I am touched by reading what you've written. You paint a very clear picture on how things began and how they have evolved.

That's a powerful journey you have described. You've developed a great perspective about your relationship with HIV and more importantly with life in general.

I'm glad you found your way to our site. I hope you will visit us again whenever you want to and that you'll  feel free to ask any questions you may have or to discuss anything that's on your mind.

Welcome!

Andy Velez

Offline Nadine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,253
  • Member since: August 2005
Re: How I view my Life with AIDs
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2006, 08:44:48 PM »
Hello Jim, welcome to our family.

I was very touched by your story, thank you!

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: How I view my Life with AIDs
« Reply #3 on: September 29, 2006, 08:47:46 PM »
Hello Jim, it is Eldon.

I wanted to take a moment to WELCOME you to the HIV/AIDS forum family. As you have probably read, there is a lot of understanding, communication, support, some cries, some laughter, and many answers relating to HIV/AIDS. This site has a lot of information at your disposal. We have a great group of individuals who will listen as well as answer you. Feel free to come and share from time-to-time with whatever is on your mind.

The forums is an excellent way to add to your current support system.

Again Welcome! and make the BEST of each Day!

Offline poobear

  • Member
  • Posts: 112
Re: How I view my Life with AIDs
« Reply #4 on: September 29, 2006, 10:18:37 PM »
Welcome Jim,
       I am touched by your story.  I also was diagnosed in 1994 but in June.  I appreciate your outlook on life.  It is refreshing to me.  Well you must be doing something right.  I hope to hear more from you.  Rachel  ;D

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,937
  • AM member since 2003
Re: How I view my Life with AIDs
« Reply #5 on: September 29, 2006, 11:58:38 PM »
Hi Jim

Welcome to the family.

Just like everyone else your story touched me...that's one hell of a journey you've been on..and like all weary travellers who have had enough of running around not always knowing in what direction they are going you have found a place to settle down, a place of comfort and a place you can be happy...."Welcome home".

You have an amazing attitude,  best medicine on the market as far as I'm concerned, I'm glad you found your way to the forums and look forward to hearing more from you.

Hugs
Jan :-*
« Last Edit: September 30, 2006, 12:00:46 AM by anniebc »
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,384
  • 29 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: How I view my Life with AIDs
« Reply #6 on: October 02, 2006, 09:25:29 AM »
Hey Jim,

You have eloquently put what I have been telling people for years: Live each day as if it were your last, take nothing for granted and let tomorrow take care of itself.

Thank you for the reminder. While our stories are a tad different (mine started in 1985), I believe we view our situations very similarly.

Welcome to the forums here and our family. Glad you have joined and I look forward to hearing more from you.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: How I view my Life with AIDs
« Reply #7 on: October 02, 2006, 09:32:39 AM »
Bravo Jim... And Welcome..

Offline siongi

  • Member
  • Posts: 42
Re: How I view my Life with AIDs
« Reply #8 on: October 03, 2006, 09:18:43 AM »
This is indeed well said!

Thanks for being here and let us have more of your experience.

Cheers!

Offline slimbimale

  • Member
  • Posts: 15
  • Tested Oct 21 1994 ( A New Life Begins )
Re: How I view my Life with AIDs
« Reply #9 on: October 05, 2006, 02:04:15 AM »
THANK YOU... to everyone for your comments ..I appreciate you taking the time out to read  my blog ..and THANK YOU for welcoming  me to this family ..we are a family ..no matter what are difference's are ..were all in the same boat together ..One thing I have learned in the last 12 years people are people and we all need love, help and support from time to time ...No matter if were infected or affected ..Were all in this fight together ..THANKS again...
     
               ((((((((((((((hugs to you all ))))))))))))))))

                                        Jim
Let Go and Let GOD

Offline bedder1

  • Member
  • Posts: 25
Re: How I view my Life with AIDs
« Reply #10 on: October 05, 2006, 03:47:51 AM »
to put it simply Jim,  THANKYOU
theres only us
theres only this
forget regret
or life is yours to miss
no other road
no other way
no day but today!

Offline IzPoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 332
  • God, grant me the serenity...
Re: How I view my Life with AIDs
« Reply #11 on: October 05, 2006, 06:40:22 AM »
Jim,

I didn't get a chance to welcome you to the forums yet.  I generally read the boards first thing in the morning when my brain isn't quite functioning yet.

Sounds to me that your experiences have helped you to develop into a new person, and someone who values life.

Life is a journey, but not on a straight path.  There will be bumps and twists in the road.  Make sure you wear your seatbelt!

Have a wonderful day!
The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly. ~ Chesterton G. K.

Offline catwoman

  • Member
  • Posts: 111
Re: How I view my Life with AIDs
« Reply #12 on: October 05, 2006, 08:48:01 AM »
Thank you!

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,384
  • 29 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: How I view my Life with AIDs
« Reply #13 on: October 05, 2006, 08:59:22 AM »
Hey Jim,

Well said! Welcome aboard. I am glad you are here.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: How I view my Life with AIDs
« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2006, 12:20:29 AM »
Thank you for your beautiful words. Welcome  :-*

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,335
Re: How I view my Life with AIDs
« Reply #15 on: October 07, 2006, 08:45:48 AM »
*
« Last Edit: October 31, 2006, 09:45:29 PM by emeraldize »

 


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