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Author Topic: Dumb behavior worried.....  (Read 1138 times)

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Offline surfside232

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  • Posts: 3
Dumb behavior worried.....
« on: September 19, 2012, 06:51:15 PM »
Ok, so I was recently in a monogamous 10 year relationship, just got divorced and I decided I was going to sow some wild oats that I did not sow from when I was young.  I was also curious about exploring some bisexual tendencies I have had since I was a young man.  So I recently engaged in 2 unprotected oral sex experiences.  I was the one giving the oral sex both times and it was one time only with two different men.  The first one happened a 27 days ago, the second one ten days ago.  The first time there was no ejaculate at all as I finished him off with my hand.  The second man came in my mouth but I spit it out after less than 30 seconds.  Also with the second man there was one time protected anal sex where I was the bottom two days after the oral.  The condom did not break, I checked it afterwards and it was watertight with no leaking.  (Yes I filled it up with water after it was used, I know weird, but it did not leak).  I do not know the HIV status of either men, and one of them refuses to contact me back with his status.  The second man says he is negative but I can only take his word.  So to sum up two one time incidents of unprotected oral sex where I gave and one protected incident where I was the bottom.  So what is my risk level.  I am a slightly paranoid person but so far I have no symptoms of ARS.  I check my temperature every day and it is fine, my weight is where it should be ( 3 pounds less than normal but I am stressed with this and my job) my lymph nodes are fine and no rash.  Do I need to get tested and how worried should I be?  Also, after my bisexual adventure I can tell you it was interesting, but I don't think I will be engaging in anything like that again.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Dumb behavior worried.....
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2012, 09:06:07 PM »
Ok, so I was recently in a monogamous 10 year relationship, just got divorced and I decided I was going to sow some wild oats that I did not sow from when I was young.  I was also curious about exploring some bisexual tendencies I have had since I was a young man.  So I recently engaged in 2 unprotected oral sex experiences.  I was the one giving the oral sex both times and it was one time only with two different men.  The first one happened a 27 days ago, the second one ten days ago.  The first time there was no ejaculate at all as I finished him off with my hand.  The second man came in my mouth but I spit it out after less than 30 seconds.  Also with the second man there was one time protected anal sex where I was the bottom two days after the oral.  The condom did not break, I checked it afterwards and it was watertight with no leaking.  (Yes I filled it up with water after it was used, I know weird, but it did not leak).  I do not know the HIV status of either men, and one of them refuses to contact me back with his status.  The second man says he is negative but I can only take his word.  So to sum up two one time incidents of unprotected oral sex where I gave and one protected incident where I was the bottom.  So what is my risk level.  I am a slightly paranoid person but so far I have no symptoms of ARS.  I check my temperature every day and it is fine, my weight is where it should be ( 3 pounds less than normal but I am stressed with this and my job) my lymph nodes are fine and no rash.  Do I need to get tested and how worried should I be?  Also, after my bisexual adventure I can tell you it was interesting, but I don't think I will be engaging in anything like that again.

Nothing you have described would require an HIV test. Of course, every sexually active adult not in a mutually monogamous relationship ought to have at least one if not two full STD panels a year, including a routine HIV test.

Also, "sero sorting" only really works for HIV positive people. Upwards of a full third of HIV positive people are unaware of their status. Making safer sex decisions based on someone's word, or your assumption thereof, is one of the easier ways to acquire an STD, including HIV.

A far better approach is not ASSUME your partner is HIV positive until you have both tested together after three months' monogamy.

You can have sex with all the HIV positive people in the world, and if you use a condom for penetrative anal and vaginal intercourse, you will avoid HIV. It really is that simple.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline surfside232

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  • Posts: 3
Re: Dumb behavior worried.....
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2012, 09:22:29 PM »
Thanks jkinatl2, so I have nothing to fear HIV wise?  That is my biggest fear.  I don't want to be paranoid, but I have been freaking a little bit.  I really just came here for reassurance and advice and so far from my reading I think I am safe.  I was considering an HIV RNA test....

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Dumb behavior worried.....
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2012, 12:35:44 AM »
Thanks jkinatl2, so I have nothing to fear HIV wise?  That is my biggest fear.  I don't want to be paranoid, but I have been freaking a little bit.  I really just came here for reassurance and advice and so far from my reading I think I am safe.  I was considering an HIV RNA test....

If there was the slightest risk I would have mentioned it. Honestly.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline surfside232

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: Dumb behavior worried.....
« Reply #4 on: September 21, 2012, 06:47:18 PM »
Well I was nervous so on Wednesday I took a PCR RNA test and an ELISA test as well, the Elisa has me negative through the end of June and the RNA test came back today as Negative.......So my last question is do I need an antibody test at 6 week mark from my last sexual activity?  Or did I blow this whole thing up larger than it needed to be given my history from the first post.  This is my third post so I probably won't be posting again.  But if I could get one or two opinions from the admins here that would be amazing.  Just trying to put this to rest, so any comments would be very welcomed.

Online Ann

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  • Member
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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Dumb behavior worried.....
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2012, 07:10:13 AM »
Surf,

You haven't had a risk and you didn't need to take those unnecessary tests - particularly that expensive PCR test.

(And great, btw. You're willing to spend money on unnecessary, expensive tests but you're not going to post again because you don't want to spend a few dollars to help support a website that provides much needed support and information surrounding every aspect of hiv. Thanks. I'm really feeling the love.)

You don't have hiv, which is hardly surprising since you didn't have a risk.


If there was the slightest risk I would have mentioned it. Honestly.


And I would have jumped in to confirm. If I thought you had a risk that Jonathan missed (and he never misses), I would have told you so in no uncertain terms. And yes, I read every, and I mean every thread in the Am I Infected? forum. It's what I do. Yes, I need to get a life. ~sigh~

Yep, you blew this WAY out of proportion. You don't need further testing at this time - you just need to chill out and get on with your life.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED FURTHER HIV TESTING AT THIS TIME, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann



edited to add prevention information
« Last Edit: September 22, 2012, 07:30:10 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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