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Serodiscordinant Heterosexual relationship

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Welcome to the forums and congratulations on your relationship.  As an HIV+ male also in a serodiscordinant hetero relationship - my experience is that your feelings and questions are very natural and normal. 

Great work in educating yourself and best wishes,



--- Quote from: Ann on September 24, 2012, 02:00:42 PM ---Love, I merged your two threads because they're essentially about the same thing - hiv transmission.

The rubbing without penetration you describe is called frottage and frottage is not a risk for hiv infection.

Basically all you two need to do is to use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions, and you will remain hiv negative. It really is that simple!!!

Good luck with your relationship, and I hope you can get over your initial fears.

I also hope you've been getting regular, routine sexual health care check ups during the years that you've been sexually active, so you know you're not bringing any unwanted STIs into the relationship either.


--- End quote ---

Hi Ann, I've read many posts on this site and greatly respect your opinion on these subjects.  I've been wondering about the same kinds of things discussed in this post.  Are you saying that in the case of serodiscordant relations where the male is pos and the female is neg and the male is successfully on meds with UD VL then condoms would only need to be used for vaginal/anal sex?  Meaning unprotected oral sex is fine, even when ejaculating?  I have read many things on this subject just interested in hearing more. Thanks in advance.

i don't know if i am allowed to answer any questions here but...

1-being UD doesn't mean UD semen as well.
2-oral sex is really low risk, even when someone is not UD. i can't say it is risk-free when ejaculating involved (especially if you have bad oral hygene) but i am SURE without ejaculation oral sex have NO risk at all. so don't worry. even unprotected anal sex (which is the highest risk) have %3-1 transmission risk depending on viral load of the person. oral sex transmission is still questionable, and there hasn't been a proven case we heard of yet.

if i were, i wouldn't brush my teeth right before or after performing oral sex and that s all. but use condom for anal and vaginal sex all the time.


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