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Author Topic: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK  (Read 3376 times)

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Offline Ironhorse

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  • Posts: 9
Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« on: September 06, 2012, 03:38:01 PM »
I am married 15yrs with 2 kids and filled with guilt and anxiety. Based on what I have read here, I think I am ok and with your help hope to move on.

I ended up at a strip club with customers. Drinks, etc got me in the back with some freaky girl.

Luckily, all of my clothes stayed on.

Lots of kissing.

She rubbed her vagina in my face and I licked it a couple times.

She let me shove my fist in her vagina and anus. I didn't know you could get that much that far in. My hands are always rough as I am in manufacturing working with machines every day.

Anyways from what I have read it appears my feelings are guilt and anxiety but then again I could have had my hand up where higher concentrations of virus hide.

What do you think?

Thanks for your help

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2012, 03:48:02 PM »
You never had an exposure in the situations you've provided.

HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex
Sharing works with other IV drug abusers
Mother to child

Offline Ironhorse

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2012, 05:26:45 PM »
Thank you for the quick reply.

From the licking standpoint it was no more contact than if I had licked the skin around her vagina. So that seems innocent enough.

But, as far as I had my arm in both ends, I would have to imagine some exposure. Is it just there is not a mode of transmission with the hands? If a person had a gapping, bleeding wound that I put my hands over to stop the bleeding is there no risk of infection (good to know for the future)?

Thanks

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2012, 05:39:55 PM »
Thank you for the quick reply.

From the licking standpoint it was no more contact than if I had licked the skin around her vagina. So that seems innocent enough.

But, as far as I had my arm in both ends, I would have to imagine some exposure. Is it just there is not a mode of transmission with the hands? If a person had a gapping, bleeding wound that I put my hands over to stop the bleeding is there no risk of infection (good to know for the future)?

Thanks


If you are an emergency first responder, and come across an accident victim who has hemorrhaging wounds, and if in trying to reach that victim and stop that bleeding, you DEEPLY tear your own flesh (say, on a twisted piece of metal at a car accident) and THEN staunch the wound, getting fresh arterial blood into your own severe wound, then yes, that's a risk.

Anything less is not.

There is nothing sexual besides full on unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse with a female that will transmit HIV. No matter how many variables you introduce.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ironhorse

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« Reply #4 on: September 07, 2012, 08:02:39 AM »
Thank you for the information.

After a week of holding out it felt good to get back to the wife.

I still have a nagging feeling in the back of my head that catching HIV was possible but maybe it is more guilt and anxiety. You guys could start a whole support system for that and charge a nice fee and probably clean up.


Offline Ironhorse

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2012, 05:32:08 PM »
I hadnt intended to be back here, but I need some reassurance.

Last Friday I came down with a mild sore throat that put my mind into overdrive.

Then all of the sudden I am on the Internet at Medhelp, the body, here, reading about things and topics I didn't even know existed.

Having been with my wife several times after your all clear my mind went crazy about the sore throat and everything I have been reading. What if I am some crazy statistic and 10yrs down the road we both get crazy sick all because of some lame night out trying to drum up more business?

I had not been to one of those places in over 10yrs and certainly hadn't touched anyone else in over 15yrs let alone finger/fist or lick their privates.

Without trying to sound rude, is your all clear 100%. Should I go to the local clinic? Should I go to my doctor? Frankly my wife was against the outing to drum up more business so telling her any of this will get my ass flat kicked.

Thanks in advance for you help and understanding. The last thing I want is for my wife to get sick (which I guess she could be already) from me and my stupidity.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2012, 07:11:59 PM »
You never had an exposure in the situations you've provided.

HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex
Sharing works with other IV drug abusers
Mother to child

The only residual symptom definitely related to your experience is GUILT. Yes, guilt. There was no risk for HIV. You would do yourself a big favor by stopping searching the net about your "symptoms." If you have any, discuss them with your doctor. They have nothing to do with HIV. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline Ironhorse

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2012, 08:03:49 AM »
Thank you for the reassuring words. I have on variable question.

While it was only a couple superficial licks, my oral health is genetically bad. I don't do drugs (except redbull and soda), brush/floss/rinse 2x/day, see the dentist every 6mo but I am still plagued with gingivitis, cavities, and gums that bleed when I brush.

Does this change anything? Does it make the couple licks more risky or even the kissing for that matter?

Thanks again. I am trying to put this past me but you are right the guilt side keeps jumping in with questions. I just want to make sure I do not hurt my wife and down the road kids.

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,274
Re: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2012, 08:12:04 AM »
No it doesn't change a thing. You did not have an exposure.

Offline Ironhorse

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« Reply #9 on: September 16, 2012, 11:37:42 AM »
Just for my own piece of mind, I bought/took a HomeAccess Express test yesterday at the drugstore and sent it off. According to the package, I should have the result tomorrow. Since I haven't had vaginal intercourse with anybody but my wife in 15yrs (although I did have an unfinished handjob in China 3 years ago but that doesnt seem to count and for some reason I didnt worry about it then), I can presume a negative result??

Is this test as good as what I might get at my doctors office??
« Last Edit: September 16, 2012, 12:01:18 PM by Ironhorse »

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« Reply #10 on: September 16, 2012, 12:39:56 PM »
Iron,

Provided your wife is not hiv positive and neither of you are aware of that fact, then yes, you can expect a negative result.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ironhorse

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« Reply #11 on: September 17, 2012, 04:18:34 PM »
As expeted it was negative. Since I "didn't have a risk," I am conclusively negative.

No more excessive booze and naked women that I don't know. Stick to my wife from now on.

Thanks So Long and Good Luck.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« Reply #12 on: September 17, 2012, 06:49:31 PM »
Excellent. Get on with your life!
Andy Velez

Offline Ironhorse

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« Reply #13 on: October 20, 2012, 07:14:55 PM »
I freaked due to an illness that I had and then my wife.

I started trying to remember that night from post #1 and I am killing myself as there are stretches of time I can't remember. I remember doing the things I mentioned above and I remember leaving thinking thank god I never took my clothes off but then there are stretches I can't remember.

Granted this was all in a VIP booth that was literally no bigger than 5x5 with a bench and a guy standing outside a curtain that I would have imagined would have busted in had he heard anything crazy. Further more the activities above were at various intervals throughout my hour in there. So I am sure I would have remembered sexual intercourse especially since the longest stretch I can't remember is ~15min.

Anyways this story of all of this guilt and drama ends with me taking an Oraquick test 7 weeks post incident and receiving a negative.

On the off infinite chance that something happened that I can't remember, is this seven week negative worth anything?


Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,274
Re: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« Reply #14 on: October 20, 2012, 08:13:25 PM »
jYou never had an exposure. Save your money and get help with your anxiety and guilt.

Offline Ironhorse

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« Reply #15 on: October 21, 2012, 07:11:00 AM »
You are probably right.

After some heavy reading I think I have answered my own question about a negative seven week Oraquick test from other posts here. 

- Six week negative is highly unlikely to change.

- Six week negative is all but definitive

- Eight week negative is not going to change, just collect another negative at 12 weeks.

It would seem that a six week negative antibody test is like having the winning lotto numbers for the next drawing.

Although told I am at no risk, I hate not remembering very important moments of time. I have taken great solice in knowing that my seven week negative would be all but definitive in a high risk situation let alone a no risk situation.

Can you confirm that I have not misinterpreted the above statements?

Thank you for you time, money well spent on my part

Offline Ann

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  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Anxiety, guilt but think I am OK
« Reply #16 on: October 21, 2012, 10:15:14 AM »
Iron,

You have not misinterpreted the information you cited.

You didn't have a risk. You don't need further testing. You do not have hiv. It's time you got on with your life.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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