Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits > Mental Health & HIV

Did starting medication make HIV "real" for you?

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makhedha:

--- Quote from: leatherman on September 15, 2012, 11:04:45 AM ---are you speaking with any sort of a counselor about any of this? I ask because it seems you really need to reverse everything you're thinking about the meds. The way you phrased things seems to be a really negative viewpoint that probably doesn't allow you to enjoy each day that you're healthy and alive. Taking meds really should be a happy, life-affirming action. ;) :D

without the meds, you truly won't be "fine". Living, as you're dying, with AIDS is a miserable experience
with the meds, you don't have to pretend, you will be "fine" and usually pretty "normal"

without the meds, you're not being pro-active about your health; you're just allowing HIV to ravage your body and mind.
with the meds, you are in charge of your life and medical care, and you are making the decisions

without the meds, your life is being stolen away by a horrible life-ending disease.
with the meds, you are finally not "dying" because with your renewed health you are able to live life to the fullest

Twenty-five years ago without meds of any kind, I watched so many of my friends die while I got sicker and sicker and came very close to death. Twenty-five years later with all the meds available on the market, I'm still alive and I see new patients go from near death back to life and right back to their "normal" lives of work, friends, and loves. There's just no way I could ever look at these life-saving medications as the reminder of death, as you imply; but as the only way so many of us have been able to beat back this scourge. I hope one day you can look at your meds with a happier attitude. ;)

--- End quote ---

i hear you, man. all you say makes intellectual sense. i know that they keep me alive, and more than that they allow me to enjoy that live without all the things that came with HIV not too far ago. i know that. just sees to be a disconnect with he brain and the 'heart', or spirit, if you will.

i've been back on the meds a week now. wouldn't say i'm thankful and OK with it but y mindset had changed. it's still akin to indifference, on good days, at the moment but i'm getting there. no choice. one of the very strange things that seems to have happened is that since i got back on the with a 'better' mindset I've had next to no side-effects at all. used to all sorts back in the day. nothing really now. that's helped with how i view the but wonder if how i viewed the caused the really bad side-effect to begin with. or made them worse, at least. a psychosomatic type of thing.

i'm working on it, man. but it still does make the disease 'real' every tie i take the meds.

leatherman:

--- Quote from: makhedha on September 15, 2012, 12:33:31 PM ---but wonder if how i viewed the caused the really bad side-effect to begin with. or made them worse, at least. a psychosomatic type of thing.

--- End quote ---
don't ever discount the psychosomatic effects!!  ;) especially if the meds have ever caused you any bad side effects.

After taking liquid norvir for yrs, and barfing from it all the time, just touching the norvir gelcaps could often send me racing to the bathroom. That's when I realized the power of what I simply thought about the meds could actually result in a physical response.

Now 18 or 19 yrs after that first liquid norvir, there are nights when, just as I put the norvir tablet into my mouth, I'll shiver really hard and have a wave of nausea wash over me even though norvir causes ZERO side effects in me these days. But I try NOT to think about it, try to pop the pill really fast and wash it down with food and drink as quick as I can.

so keep working on it, just like I do every night, and think HAPPY thoughts. ;)

blackbeauty40:
For me, HIV definitely became more real when I was put on medications. When I didn't have to take meds, I didn't have to "deal" with the fact that I was positive, I could "forget" about it for a while, but taking meds made me realize, I have a virus that is changing my life.

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