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Author Topic: Someone Please Please Help  (Read 938 times)

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Offline ajvalley22

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Someone Please Please Help
« on: August 28, 2012, 03:41:14 PM »
I just got out of a seven year relationship and this past weekend found myself extremely deppresed. I ended up at a bar and got waisted and then went home with some i know was positive and had cocaine. i ended up doing some and found myself letting him service me orally (only for a few seconds)  rimming me (for about a minute only) and then i topped him ( WITH a condom and only penetrated him twice...before stopping the contact. The reason i only did each thing such a short time is because my "right" mind new he was pos and that i need to be very safe.
The next day i freaked out and went to the ER......they said i could go on pep. Today is the last day for me to start the treatment but also I told them that i had unprotected sex with him so that i could get the medication if i needed it. Someone please help. Is it better to be safe than sorry............or am I at risk and need to get the medication????????????????????? please????? help me.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Someone Please Please Help
« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2012, 04:45:36 PM »
As long as you used a condom properly for intercourse then your partner's positive status is not a problem for you. Used correctly condoms provide very effective protection against the transmission of HIV.

Nothing else you are reporting of your activities would have put you at risk for HIV.

Breakups often provide the impetus for risky behavior. It's a good idea to avoid mixing excessive drinking and drugging with casual sex. Have all the sex you want to, but do it the safer way. That means always without exceptions using condoms for intercourse. Unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse are the only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV.

I don't see any need for you to do PEP in relation to this incident. You're just having some understandable anxiety about cutting loose a bit as you are coming out of a longterm relationship.

If you decide to get tested just for your peace of mind at 3 months, I expect you will test negative.
Andy Velez

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Someone Please Please Help
« Reply #2 on: August 28, 2012, 06:33:46 PM »
Your right mind?

I've had three long term (five plus year) relationships with HIV negative people. We used condoms. They are all still negative.

You lied to your ER about your sexual experience just so that you could get on PEP? That was uncool. Please know that.

You realize those are potent drugs, some of the very stuff that people with HIV take in order to stay healthy, right?

Listen, here is what you need to know.

If you use a CONDOM for penetrative sex (fucking) you will not acquire HIV. It's that simple. Getting sucked is absolutely NO RISK. Getting rimmed is absolutely NO RISK.

You had no risk whatsoever, even if the person was positive with a viral load in the millions. That's what safer sex is.

If you feel the need to test in three months for peace of mind (and also, every adult who is sexually active and not in a monogamous relationship needs a complete STD panel, including an HIV test of course, at least once a year. I personally suggest twice) the go on ahead. This is a NO RISK situation.

My advice? Read our lessons on HIV transmission. Heck, search this forum - your question/concern has been asked and answered thousands of times, and HIV transmission theory is not exactly a quickly evolving science. If anything, we have whittled down the list of risky activities an awful lot.

I suggest you donate those drugs to your local ASO (AIDS Service Organization) and consider that cost (and the money you have spent in order to post here) the going price for a learning experience.

It honestly pisses me off when people lie in order to get PEP in the US, when so many who actually NEED those drugs are on waiting lists.

It appears to me that you've wasted a considerable amount of money, time, and emotions over such a non-event.



"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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