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Author Topic: bye for little while  (Read 5325 times)

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Offline Growler

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
bye for little while
« on: August 11, 2012, 11:33:14 PM »
have jelly legs on and off for past week. forgot what is happening in shower this morning, scary. staying in shelter tonight and tommorow going to aids council for help. Feel detached and weird, hate it!!!!
Thank-you
Love you all
GROWLER
“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,281
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2012, 11:45:23 PM »
Be well Growler.

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,281
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2012, 04:02:19 AM »


Take care of yourself Growler..


Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 12/10/14,  t-cells are at 350,  Previous 8/25/14--- 402/ Viral load remains <40

 Current % is at 13% / Previous 8/25/14 11%

  
 63 years young.

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,169
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2012, 08:28:08 AM »
Thinking of you and hoping for a good turn of events soon.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline mikeyb39

  • Member
  • Posts: 948
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #4 on: August 12, 2012, 08:43:06 AM »
hi growler,.
i'm concerned about you.   I hope everything goes well  must be heard to have to deal with that along with everything else.

mike
11/02/2010  cd4-251, vl-591000
12/09/2010  started Atripla
02/18/2011  cd4-425, vl-800
06/10/2011  cd4-447, vl-70
10/10/2011  cd4-666, vl-80
01/05/2012  swiched med (prezista,norvir ,isentress, )
02/10/2012  cd4-733, vl-UD  Viread removed
06/10/2012  cd4-614, vl-UD
12/14/2012  cd4-764, vl-UD
09/01/2013  cd4-785, vl-UD
03/06/2014. cd4- 1078, VL-UD
09/05/2014  cd4-850 , VL-UD

Offline Theyer

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,593
  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #5 on: August 14, 2012, 12:57:13 PM »
Hi Growler,

Hope you are getting the care you need and that you are comfortable with it.
With love
Michael
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline LiveWithIt

  • Member
  • Posts: 414
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2012, 12:59:54 PM »
Sorry to hear about your situation, hope you feel better soon.
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline Lugzsoo

  • Member
  • Posts: 183
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2012, 03:08:18 PM »
Hugs to u

Hope you feel better soon

Offline Growler

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #8 on: August 14, 2012, 06:20:02 PM »
in hospital. Ok. being treated for brain bug.Confusing sometimes and headache but ok. bear is with me.safe.
“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,519
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #9 on: August 14, 2012, 06:21:54 PM »
Hey Growler, I'm VERY happy to hear that this is being taken care of and that you're in a safer place!
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Growler

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #10 on: August 14, 2012, 06:23:08 PM »
Thank you all.
“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Offline drewm

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,186
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #11 on: August 14, 2012, 06:44:38 PM »
((((HUGS))))
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

TRIUMEQ - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE - PRAVASTATIN - CIALIS


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,281
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #12 on: August 14, 2012, 07:20:43 PM »
in hospital. Ok. being treated for brain bug.Confusing sometimes and headache but ok. bear is with me.safe.

Yay. Glad you're getting that taken care of. Also glad Sebastian the Bear is watching over you  ;)

-W
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Growler

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #13 on: August 20, 2012, 05:08:23 AM »
Thank u all!
Still waiting further results from lumbar puncture done last week. Fucking headache. Seizures getting stronger and more frequent (I am fully awake when they occur, no pain just jerky and weird speech). Today I became convinced they must be psuedo seizures and it was mental illness and I tried to leave hospital. Drs sat me down and said they think it's real and they think it's an infection but still waiting results for which bug.I was so relieved I cried which I only do when I watch E.T.
Spoke to my sister and told her about doing. living will. She said she wouldn't want me to suffer and would totally support my wishes. I cried again I am so happy. Doctor s will do a NFR order in the interim tomorrow.
Sebastian says hi.
GROWLER (Joe)
« Last Edit: August 20, 2012, 07:07:21 AM by Growler »
“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Offline gingin

  • Member
  • Posts: 27
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #14 on: August 20, 2012, 07:12:46 AM »
My heart goes out to you, be safe and get well.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #15 on: August 20, 2012, 08:35:00 AM »
Hey Joe, I'm glad you're keeping us updated. I may not have posted in your thread up to now, but I do think about you often and wonder how you're doing.

Sorry to hear you got the LP headache - my bf went through that recently and it wasn't pretty. I hope it gets better soon.

I totally understand your relief at getting a diagnosis of sorts. I remember when I was being told that how I felt was all in my head, then I got the hiv diagnosis (on top of hep C - I kept being told [wrongly] that hep C couldn't possibly cause the symptoms I had). I'll never forget when the doctor said "no wonder you feel like shit" (his actual words) - I also cried with relief. So yeah, I get it.

Hang in there Joe. I hope they manage to sort you out soon and that you feel much better quickly.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Billy B

  • Member
  • Posts: 374
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #16 on: August 20, 2012, 11:58:50 AM »
Growler- You hang in there man and get better!
Peace,
Billy
VL 4420 CD4 340 CD4% 24   3/15/10 Started I&T
VL  UD   CD4 340 CD4% 26.5 05/13/10
VL  UD   CD4 360 CD4% 27.1 08/3/10
VL  UD   CD4 310 CD4% 28.4 11/22/10
VL  UD   CD4 420 CD4% 27.9 02/11/11
VL  UD   CD4 370 CD4% 26.4 06/08/11
VL  UD   CD4 360 CD4% 27.7 09/23/11
VL  UD   CD4 370 CD4% 28.3 01/20/12
VL  UD   CD4 430 CD4% 28.8 05/11/12
VL  UD   CD4 370 CD4% 28.1 09/07/12
VL  UD   CD4 390 CD4% 32.3 03/14/13

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,281
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #17 on: August 20, 2012, 04:26:11 PM »
Hang in there! And get this thing diagnosed and treated! Thinking about you.

-Will

Ps- The bear is looking good.

POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline karry

  • Member
  • Posts: 271
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #18 on: August 24, 2012, 06:36:04 AM »
Hi Joe
Sending warm wishes your way and a big hug. Hope you feel better soon.
K
Take it a day at a time....and be positive about it too!

Offline Growler

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #19 on: August 24, 2012, 11:38:53 PM »
Hi guys
out of hospital a couple of days . All ok,  except for ongoing  psychosis but  I have risperadone to stop the voices and the vampires.. ...lots of fun! Memory is frustrating, used to be almost photographic now strangers who dont know me talk at me like I'm simple. Getting lots of help.....too much!!! People practicaly climbing over each other to save me; overwhelming! They want me on a pension and in my own appartment but I think I'd fuck it up but that doesn't stop them. I'm going to insist on a quiet place with balcony for growing flowers near Oxford St (gay central in Sydney), that should stump them :-)
Take care kiddies
GROWLER (The Vampire Slayer)
« Last Edit: August 24, 2012, 11:40:26 PM by Growler »
“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,281
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #20 on: August 24, 2012, 11:44:26 PM »
Getting lots of help.....too much!!! People practicaly climbing over each other to save me;

This is GOOD!

They want me on a pension and in my own appartment

This is even BETTER!

LEt them help you. You and the bear really need a roof over your head, and a place to grow flowers.

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Theyer

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,593
  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #21 on: August 25, 2012, 07:38:59 AM »
Dear Growler

Mr WUMP speaks the truth , let them help you , Sebastian and your good self need a safe place to make sense off this world and then post your findings here , it helps us all dear Growler.
love
michael.
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline OneTampa

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,314
  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #22 on: August 25, 2012, 08:52:01 AM »
Growler,

Glad to know that you are getting help.

Keep us updated.

And, please take care yourself.

All the best.
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline Growler

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #23 on: August 25, 2012, 03:04:54 PM »
Sorry, I just feel guilty, having so much while others are in distress. I'd prefer it helped someone in Africa because I can't imagine going through this stuff and being poor, it would be a nightmare!!!
No need to worry about us, we're having a couple of days rest at a shelter. Side effect of risperodone is insomnia. 3 days with a total of 8 hours sleep was enough to persuade me I needed a short break.

GROWLER
“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Offline Growler

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #24 on: August 25, 2012, 11:14:53 PM »
I'm going to say bye again for a little while. I get confused and embarrass myself and so if I set a rule not to post for a while I'll follow it. My life is now lists and rules :-) 
I'm being watched over closely so no need to worry about the bear and I. They'll drag me in if I go off.
I'll still be reading.  Thanks all, you're all very patient and caring. I hope Matty's ok, I don't see him here?
Take care
GROWLER
“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,281
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #25 on: August 26, 2012, 12:36:02 AM »
All the best to you Growler, you got alot of peeps who love you and are pulling for you  ;)

-Will

Ps- tell the bear hi.
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Growler

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #26 on: August 27, 2012, 03:53:41 PM »
Finally some good news. I was taken to see a community housing one bedroom appartment yesterday. It's in a complex of 12 that are all tenented by positive people and it has a community garden! It's a 10 minute walk to the best HIV hospital in Sydney, 5 minutes to a train station and 15 minute walk to the gay heart of Sydney. I can stay as long as I want (forever if I need to) and it's affordable. It's all a bit overwhelming but I've decided I'm not ready to give up fighting,  so I am going to say yes and accept the place and beat the HIV in the brain.
Thanks everyone for your encouragement and supporting words. I'll keep you posted.........We're finally going to be off the streets!!!!!!!!! :)
GROWLER & THE BEAR
“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,281
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #27 on: August 27, 2012, 04:57:58 PM »
.........We're finally going to be off the streets!!!!!!!!! :)

GROWLER & THE BEAR

This is by far the best news I've heard all day ;)

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,519
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #28 on: August 27, 2012, 05:35:40 PM »
Finally some good news. I was taken to see a community housing one bedroom appartment yesterday. It's in a complex of 12 that are all tenented by positive people and it has a community garden! It's a 10 minute walk to the best HIV hospital in Sydney, 5 minutes to a train station and 15 minute walk to the gay heart of Sydney. I can stay as long as I want (forever if I need to) and it's affordable. It's all a bit overwhelming but I've decided I'm not ready to give up fighting,  so I am going to say yes and accept the place and beat the HIV in the brain.
Thanks everyone for your encouragement and supporting words. I'll keep you posted.........We're finally going to be off the streets!!!!!!!!! :)
GROWLER & THE BEAR

That's a perfect set up for you darling -- you'll have some non-medical support from the other tenants hopefully plus the doctor(s) so close by. I'm very proud that you've been dealing with this clusterfuck so well all things considered.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,176
  • Twerk Baby Twerk
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #29 on: August 27, 2012, 09:09:38 PM »
What Philicia and Wumpy said.  Growler you don't know how happy it makes me to see that you're getting everything sorted out.  Keep us updated and take care of yourself and Sebastion.
don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. 
Last regimen:  Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

Offline Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 13,249
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #30 on: August 27, 2012, 09:19:23 PM »
This is really good news and I hope its the start of something that's going to be very good for you , best wishes and a hug for you and the bear .

Offline Raf

  • Member
  • Posts: 259
  • Bald by choice
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #31 on: August 27, 2012, 09:56:37 PM »
Growler, take care of yourself and sebastian.
Dx: 05/14/2008
Latest HIV Meds combo I've been taking:

Kaletra + Combivir (since 05/16/2008 - today)

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,095
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #32 on: August 28, 2012, 04:23:36 AM »
This is wonderful news!  I've been following this thread even though I haven't posted.  But I couldn't read about your getting off the street without letting you know how happy that makes me.  Congrats!
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline britchick

  • Member
  • Posts: 445
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #33 on: August 28, 2012, 11:49:24 AM »
Hi !

Great news..I hope that you will be feeling better soon

Britchickx

Offline phost86

  • Member
  • Posts: 54
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #34 on: August 28, 2012, 12:23:35 PM »
Wow, I'm so happy your getting the help you need and your feeling better! Really great news:)

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,956
  • AM member since 2003
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #35 on: August 28, 2012, 05:08:51 PM »
Hi Growler

like Betty i have been following your post but not posting until now.  i had tocome in and say that I was please to hear things are going well fo you and you are not ready to give the fight...I'm sure bear needs you to stick around.

I will be crossing the ditch in January heading for Maitland and then Tamworth, I'll give you a wave on my way through.. ;)

Take care

Aroha
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Growler

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #36 on: August 28, 2012, 07:10:34 PM »
I'm out of the refuge and in a proper motel until I move into my new place in about 3 weeks time. The doctor thought it would be a more appropriate accommodation for me being quieter etc. I couldn't go back to the refuge anyway.  The staff were questioning  me in front of other clients  about which community organization was helping me. I couldn't remember the name so I just blurted out that it was an AIDs organization.....not something you want known in a homeless refuge.
The motel room is an 80's pastel nightmare but nether-the-less is wonderful. I slept 7.5 hours straight last night, and have a refrigerator and a TV and my own bathroom. I feel conflicted about the help and attention I'm receiving and pissed that it's come to this but hey I figure how can I pass on another 20 or 30 years tormenting the world before joining Steve Jobs in external damnation ;)
 
I will be crossing the ditch in January heading for Maitland and then Tamworth, I'll give you a wave on my way through.. ;)

OMG Jan, Tamworth!  You're a country and western fan aren't you?! You're forgiven since I do have a soft spot for Dolly Parton. Love to say hi and I promise to show you the best restaurant dumpsters in Sydney to get a gourmet feed :)

GROWLER

“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Offline Ann

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  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #37 on: August 29, 2012, 05:12:58 AM »
Growler, I'm so happy for you and Sebastian! This is the bestest news I've heard in ages.

(((((((Growler & Sebastian)))))))
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline spacebarsux

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,350
  • Survival of the Fittest
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #38 on: August 29, 2012, 08:41:19 AM »
I am so happy to hear this news Growler.  :) Hope you start feeling well real soon!!
Infected-  2005 or early 2006; Diagnosed- Jan 28th, 2011; Feb '11- CD4 754 @34%, VL- 39K; July '11- CD4 907@26%,  VL-81K; Feb '12- CD4 713 @31%, VL- 41K, Nov '12- CD4- 827@31%

Offline Buckmark

  • Member
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  • Would you like to tie me up with your ties, Ty?
    • Henry's Home Page
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #39 on: August 29, 2012, 11:54:41 AM »
The motel room is an 80's pastel nightmare but nether-the-less is wonderful.

The 80s are coming back, dear.  Next you'll be seeing women wearing dresses with shoulder pads.  And big hair!

Quote
I slept 7.5 hours straight last night, and have a refrigerator and a TV and my own bathroom.

Splendid!

Quote
I feel conflicted about the help and attention I'm receiving and pissed that it's come to this but hey I figure how can I pass on another 20 or 30 years tormenting the world before joining Steve Jobs in external damnation ;)

I can imagine this help and attention is a big change.  But you deserve it.  I'm happy to see all of these positive changes for you.  Steve Jobs can wait.

Cheers,

Henry
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: bye for little while
« Reply #40 on: August 29, 2012, 12:27:05 PM »
Hi Growler ... You have been on my mind and your thread here got me thinking ... from what you shared with us its almost like you feel you don't deserve a home or a place to nest into and be happy . I know from the replies people have left here for you to read that every one is over the top happy that you are safe and will soon have a place to call your own . It was the best part of my week hearing this news ... be happy and know you deserve this as much as the next guy .

 


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