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Author Topic: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming  (Read 7813 times)

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Offline spacebarsux

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #50 on: August 14, 2012, 01:29:53 AM »
Do you have something to say about the topic in this thread or you just want to pick on who I am and where Im from?

I was trying to make you see a point pertinent to the discussion in this thread mate; it wasn't an attempt to disparage you or your background. Seems like the point has been missed by a country mile though. Never mind.
« Last Edit: August 14, 2012, 01:42:15 AM by spacebarsux »
Infected-  2005 or early 2006; Diagnosed- Jan 28th, 2011; Feb '11- CD4 754 @34%, VL- 39K; July '11- CD4 907@26%,  VL-81K; Feb '12- CD4 713 @31%, VL- 41K, Nov '12- CD4- 827@31%

Offline Buckmark

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #51 on: August 14, 2012, 10:25:00 AM »
Let's look at this from a slightly different perspective.  Would you start a social club for people living with other serious diseases, that are only for members who are also financially successful?  For example, multiple sclerosis, muscular dystrophy, lupus, Hep C?  Do you see any example of such groups?
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #52 on: August 14, 2012, 11:45:45 AM »
Let's look at this from a slightly different perspective.  Would you start a social club for people living with other serious diseases, that are only for members who are also financially successful?  For example, multiple sclerosis, muscular dystrophy, lupus, Hep C?  Do you see any example of such groups?
What about a group of people comparing apples and oranges.   ::)
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline denb45

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #53 on: August 14, 2012, 12:33:13 PM »
I think it is so wrong to exclude others based on being "financially secure" I'm sorry but, that means a lot of different things to a lot of different people, what about those of us who are already retired, isn't that a little Vague..... not only that but, it's also like excluding others due to their race  ::)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Buckmark

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #54 on: August 14, 2012, 12:36:52 PM »
What about a group of people comparing apples and oranges.   ::)

Only if they are financially successful.   :P

Tell me, what's so different that the comparison is invalid, in your opinion?
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #55 on: August 14, 2012, 12:57:49 PM »
I think it is so wrong to exclude others based on being "financially secure" I'm sorry but, that means a lot of different things to a lot of different people, what about those of us who are already retired, isn't that a little Vague..... not only that but, it's also like excluding others due to their race  ::)

Sometimes broke people don't even want to date other broke people.  It's about your own self worth and dignity.  Why would you want to join a club that doesn't want you?  People exclude others for many reasons, we make snap judgments on a subconscious level whenever we meet people.   

To equate it to race is insulting to all races.  You can change your financial status and choose to be with whatever class you want to, you can never change your race. 

I don't understand why people are so upset that a professional HIV person seeks same for a social group.   You can't fit into all groups, don't be a hypocrite about it.   It's his preference and you have the right to yours and you should not be insulted by his.
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #56 on: August 14, 2012, 01:01:54 PM »
What about a group of people comparing apples and oranges.   ::)

Is that anything like a group of old poz queens in a support group gravitating towards all the hot, new, younger attendees?
don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. 
Last regimen:  Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #57 on: August 14, 2012, 01:13:14 PM »
Is that anything like a group of old poz queens in a support group gravitating towards all the hot, new, younger attendees?

That's it exactly. 
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #58 on: August 14, 2012, 01:16:43 PM »
Only if they are financially successful.   :P

Tell me, what's so different that the comparison is invalid, in your opinion?

Because those are degenerative diseases and for the time being for many people HIV is just something they have where they can keep the virus to near undetectable levels.  And if any of those groups wanted to find people in their same situation there would be nothing wrong with it anyway. 
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline leatherman

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #59 on: August 14, 2012, 02:09:55 PM »
You can change your financial status and choose to be with whatever class you want to,
LOL totally off-topic; but I'd love you to start up another thread and tell us the miracle secret that makes that statement true. :D  ;D

I don't understand why people are so upset that a professional HIV person seeks same for a social group.   
as much as I (and others that have posted here) would like to find an LTS-only group, I don't particularly see the problem either. I have seen all sorts of other social/support groups formed that I wouldn't fit into and I don't have an issue with it. My ASO hosts a black-only male-only MSM-only group that I don't fit into; there's also an addiction-recovery group that I don't fit into; and there's a women-only group I don't fit into. To be honest, I wouldn't fit into a 40+ professional group either. And yet I don't feel excluded from any of those groups, even though technically I am.

Case in point, being an 50 yr old ex-professional, formerly "financially secure" now in poverty on disability (damn that issue of having teh AIDS, it sure changed my financial standing ;) ), I don't have anything in common with the OP's kind of group - except for the HIV virus - and would never join nor feel excluded from it. Not to mention that I don't live in NY. LOL Of course, there are so many more positive people in NY, so they might very well be able to splinter themselves off into smaller groups more easily than say here in upper SC where there are less that 500 positive people spread across three counties. I think there may only be 2 people that fit the OP's qualifications here, so a group like that just wouldn't fly. However as over 45% of our ASO clients are black MSM men (unemployed or on disability by the way) it makes more sense for a local social group to have those requirements instead.

Of course, limiting yourself to only a subsection (40+ professionals or LTSes or women or blacks) of such a tiny group of people (pozzies out enough to be in a social group in the first place) will limit the experiences and knowledge brought to such a gathering; but sometimes those are the voices you want to hear because of the shared experiences and knowledge.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Online mecch

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #60 on: August 14, 2012, 08:13:24 PM »
Its the OP's galling surety of the definitions of these labels - "professional", "financially secure".  The invitation/announcement, and followup defensive posts, hint at delusion of some kind.

I don't think anyone has a problem with the way social groups can end up being rather cohesive, so who cares if a bunch of middle aged dudes (hey are professional HIV+ women welcome?) with jobs and self-definitions of "security" or "professional" end up hanging out because they have things in common and enjoy each other. 

Its really the ickiness of the announcement, not the idea of the final group, which will just be a bunch of normal humans like the rest of us, doing their best to live life.

For what its worth, I learned that "professional" originally refers to the "professions" which were:  doctor, lawyer, engineer and teacher.  Bankers were not considered professionals.  Everything changed in the 80's though when YUPPIE allowed all people with either money or aspirational lifestyles to self identify as young, urban and "professional". 



“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Since2005

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #61 on: August 14, 2012, 09:07:58 PM »
Do you qualify and like the group? Yes -> Join the group
You do not qualify and/or don't like the group? Yes - > Don't join the group

If someone is willing to form a group of people who are " HIV+, professional, financially secured, and over 40" then good for him/her if thats what he/she wants

If someone is going to form a group that consists of "HIV+ people who are not financially secured, age less than 40" that would be his/her choice to do so.


Offline NY2011

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #62 on: August 14, 2012, 11:25:38 PM »
Agreed. 

Snarky sells on the internet, though, and several people here seem to be poised to "one up" each other all the freakin time with the comments.  It's no surprise that someone wants to limit a social group to what he thinks may be like-minded individuals for friendship and/or romantic possibilities.  There's nothing wrong with that. I encounter people all day long that may be genuinely good people, but if I've got nothing in common with them, then there's no interest, or point, in social interaction.

No need to disect or attack a person's interest in organizing something social. Let it be. 
« Last Edit: August 15, 2012, 03:26:04 PM by NY2011 »
10/26/2011 - SEROCONVERSION (hi fever+rash)
10/31/2011 - CD4= 154  VL>500,000 
10/31/2011 - started on Truvada+Prezista+Norvir
12/14/2011 - CD4= 750 VL=6412 (45%)
01/27/2012 - switched to Atripla
04/23/2012 - CD4=1,221 VL= 140  (47%)
06/22/2012 - CD4=1,224 VL= ud    (49%)
12/18/2012 - CD4=1,031 VL= ud    (51%)
09/16/2013 - CD4=1,151 VL= ud   ( 49%)
03/26/2014 - CD4=1,050 VL= ud

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #63 on: August 14, 2012, 11:34:01 PM »
Great, help me to re-word it then for this website please.

Funny, on 2 other sites I received nothing but thank you for doing this and trying to fill a void in our community for those over 40 and are fortunate to be doing fine financially and wish to mix with similar people, several even volunteered to help with the arrangements as i organize on my own time and no compensation, haters take note.

My message on your site was the same I posted on others and received nothing but embraces and appreciation.  Here I got attacked with poisonous and venomous tyoe remarks which is the exact opposite of the type of people I would want to meet.

What are all of YOU doing in your community to engage poz social groups on an individual basis?   I really would like to know, especially since most of you have decided who I am and what my agenda is without even talking to me. That shows limited responsibility to back your remarks.

I am due an apology but I don't see that coming from the hostile readers on this board.

Yours in HIV, bad and good times....


 u all should ask questions first before pulling the trigger,

Actually no, you received quite a bit of negative feedback on the SIN-NYC (Strength-in-Numbers) yahoo group where you posted the same message.

The following appeared from the moderator at 1:32 PM EST today:

Quote
What's up guys! Thanks to everyone who posted in what turned out to be a
spirited discussion, and voiced their opinions in such a civil manner. Way to
go! However, this is going to be the last message regarding the posting that
turned out to be so controversial, and no more will be approved.

Again, I need to step up since I approved the original message. Could I have
asked him to reword the message so as to be more palatable? Indeed. However, I
don't think the end result would have been any different. As has been stated,
SIN is a diverse group, and if this type of group fills a need that is otherwise
not being met, so be it. We all have the choice as to whether to join or not, or
to voice our opinions regarding it.

As for the mission of SIN, perhaps it needs to be revised. It seems to me that
SIN has not solely been an HIV education and awareness support group, but also a
social networking group where poz guys like me have developed and cultivated
friendships that will hopefully last a lifetime. And quite honestly, it's also
been a venue for guys to date and find romance. Hopefully, SIN will continue to
remain a haven of mutual support and respect, despite our disagreements. I for
one, would like for all of this to continue.

Enjoy the rest of your summer guys! I'll post on the board and the calendar the
dates for the UB2's and Board Game Days. Have a good one!
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline anmlvrnyc

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #64 on: August 19, 2012, 02:58:40 PM »
I found this forum just over a year ago soon after my diagnosis. I found it comforting for the first week or so. Then I realized there were so many negative posts/replies all over the forum regardless of the topic. It was mostly how "I am right and you are wrong." kind of things. That scared me and I stopped coming here. A year later I am back here and still see so much negative energy.
Everyone has a different perception. You can voice your opinion but you don't have to be nasty. If it's not your cup of tea, just walk away. Don't shake the table. Someone else might want that cup of tea.
Isn't this forum about supporting each other? Or is it only when I agree with you that I get your support?
Isn't it time we spread more positive energy than negative energy? Such a shame.




Offline thunter34

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #65 on: August 19, 2012, 03:19:53 PM »
I found this forum just over a year ago soon after my diagnosis. I found it comforting for the first week or so. Then I realized there were so many negative posts/replies all over the forum regardless of the topic. It was mostly how "I am right and you are wrong." kind of things. That scared me and I stopped coming here. A year later I am back here and still see so much negative energy.
Everyone has a different perception. You can voice your opinion but you don't have to be nasty. If it's not your cup of tea, just walk away. Don't shake the table. Someone else might want that cup of tea.
Isn't this forum about supporting each other? Or is it only when I agree with you that I get your support?
Isn't it time we spread more positive energy than negative energy? Such a shame.


*sigh*   ::)
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline bocker3

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #66 on: August 19, 2012, 04:22:51 PM »
I found this forum just over a year ago soon after my diagnosis. I found it comforting for the first week or so. Then I realized there were so many negative posts/replies all over the forum regardless of the topic. It was mostly how "I am right and you are wrong." kind of things. That scared me and I stopped coming here. A year later I am back here and still see so much negative energy.
Everyone has a different perception. You can voice your opinion but you don't have to be nasty. If it's not your cup of tea, just walk away. Don't shake the table. Someone else might want that cup of tea.
Isn't this forum about supporting each other? Or is it only when I agree with you that I get your support?
Isn't it time we spread more positive energy than negative energy? Such a shame.

And this post is supportive in what way??  Oh right, I am superior to you all.  Kettle -- meet pot!!

Actually, if you took the time to really look at this forum you would find that, while we may snipe, rib and sometimes brawl -- when the chips are down folks come through.  It really is like a big, somewhat dysfunctional, family here.  One that has gotten me through hard time both in public posts and through the PMs.
So -- it's easy to make a blanket generalization after a week here -- then pop back to actually make 1 post, however, you really haven't given yourself the opportunity to get to know folks on here.
I hope you find your perfect support group somewhere -- the one with nary an unkind word.  Me thinks, however, you will be sorely disappointed in this quest.

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline anniebc

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #67 on: August 19, 2012, 04:31:22 PM »

Isn't it time we spread more positive energy than negative energy? Such a shame.

I'm Sorry anmlvrnyc but you seemed to have spent a lot of negative energy just writing this post, and as a first post it's really not going to endear you to any of the members here.

If you take the time and read the posts in "Living With", "I just tested Positve" plus a few of the other forums I think you will find there are more supportive posts written by the members than there are ones about arguing who is right and who is wrong...take your time and read them, then come back and talk to us about positive energy.

Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #68 on: August 19, 2012, 04:50:47 PM »
If it's not your cup of tea, just walk away. Don't shake the table. Someone else might want that cup of tea.


When the table gets shaky take your cup off the table, or get yourself a travel mug. 
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Online mecch

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Re: New York City, HIV+ Professionals Group Forming
« Reply #69 on: August 19, 2012, 07:49:33 PM »
I found this forum just over a year ago soon after my diagnosis. I found it comforting for the first week or so. Then I realized there were so many negative posts/replies all over the forum regardless of the topic. It was mostly how "I am right and you are wrong." kind of things. That scared me and I stopped coming here. A year later I am back here and still see so much negative energy.
Everyone has a different perception. 1) You can voice your opinion but you don't have to be nasty.  2) If it's not your cup of tea, just walk away. Don't shake the table. Someone else might want that cup of tea.
Isn't this forum about supporting each other? Or is it only when I agree with you that I get your support?
Isn't it time we spread more positive energy than negative energy? Such a shame.

Let me get this straight.  Someone posts something that I see is at least insensitive and maybe flat out "wrong".  And express my opinion why. And that is wrong, according to you.  Or is it just the "nasty" component of the disagreement that scares and bugs you.  Well I would agree with your point 1, nobody really likes to witness nastiness.

I think you immediately show your hand with number 2), which is contradictory to your first point. Because it seems you finally don't want to read any contentious opinions.  Just a "love-in". 

Well I felt little love in the OP's invitation.  And as Miss P points out, there's some delusion on the OP's part about the reception it has received elsewhere, as well.   

Maybe the response here will make the OP think a bit about the way he expresses himself.  Maybe not.  He can create any kind of group he wants its a free world.  I think everyone in this thread responding is either not in New York or doesn't qualify for membership, so what's it to him if he hears negative feedback on his invitation.  Its a free world.  Any NYer loving the idea of that group will join it, and never know about this thread anyway.  So where's the harm?  And where would be the harm if someone did actually read it.  For all I care, he can have his group and have a "meta" discussion about their rules of membership.  That might be good.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2012, 07:54:34 PM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

 


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