Main Forums > I Just Tested Poz

What now?

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I always used condoms after my wife & I broke up, but one woman who lived with me for a "VERY" short time took me while I slept. Once I awoke, I was already enjoying it & did not stop her. That ONE instance gave me gonorrhea and HIV!

I tested Positive two months later. I convinced myself it was a mistake, but tested Pos again 8 months ago. Turns out in TX, I cannot do anything to her legally even though she jumped right to another man when I confronted her about it.

For the most part I feel healthy, but my first thought was "Oh sh*t! I'm dead!"  So everything I was told about my viral load, etc. went right in one ear and out the other.
Thanks to you guys I know better now.

Problem is, I am currently unemployed....  My computer business is not making any $ because for 8 months I did not advertise & refused all service calls due to depression. Now I am almost out of $, and desperately need to get my viral load checked, get a job, and probably some professional counseling since I still don't feel like going outside my Apt.

How did you guys get past the depression? I am NOT suicidal at all, but I just can't see the point in doing anything at all.

Andy Velez:
Mast, that's quite a story.

Just in terms of the matter of having your numbers checked, have you called any HIV/AIDS service organization to see what might be available in terms of low-cost medical care? Also, at the same time ask about individual and/or group counseling? Sounds like you're spending a lot of time alone with your thoughts, which even under happier circumstances can get you into trouble.

You're always welcome here to ask questions and to discuss anything that's on your mind.

Welcome and I'm glad you found your way here.



MasterV: We're here for you. Counselling sounds superb. It can open up a ton of doors honey. My counsellor is in the hospital and she referred me to a great ASO where I meet people and chat and learn  :-*  :-* Keep posting and let us help you sweety

Thanks guys,

I went to St. Hope Foundation.  They retested me and set me for counseling. I have a job interview for the 11th. (Wish me luck).  My sister has been a big help the last week. Thanks for letting me whine & cry on your shoulders.


Andy Velez:
Good luck on that job interview.

And with the counseling which hopefully will give you useful support.

Keep us posted, Andrew.



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