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Author Topic: Re: open to suggestions  (Read 10736 times)

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Offline anonomous

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  • Posts: 28
Re: open to suggestions
« Reply #50 on: July 25, 2012, 08:42:30 AM »
Hi Ann

Thank you for the speedy reply i really do appreciate, well i dont remember when we last had unprotected sex but he was tested nearly 2 months ago with me, at the same place, same time we were in the same room together when we got the results and again his was negative, then last night he tested with me again (This is unconditional love) so i am hoping for a good result for my husband but for me i dont think there will be a chance that my tests will be negative (already had 4 all positive) and thats what im afraid of really, Ann i read your reply and i dont understand this - you say its harder for a man to get hiv from a woman so the guys that do have hiv how did they get it otherwise if its so hard to get it from woman? I really hope everything turns out in our favour this is a long,stressful and emotional roller-coaster and cant help but want this over with.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Re: open to suggestions
« Reply #51 on: July 25, 2012, 09:08:30 AM »
I said it was more difficult to transmit from a woman to a man, NOT impossible. I know plenty of guys who were infected through unprotected vaginal intercourse.

You need to understand that if you do get another positive result, it MUST be confirmed with a positive Western Blot test. Make sure you ask the clinic if this test has been done.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline anonomous

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  • Posts: 28
Re: open to suggestions
« Reply #52 on: July 26, 2012, 02:26:06 AM »
Good morning Mikie

Well i understand how you guys are confussed im even more, all i can tell you is when i went to the clinic they did a finger prick,there after 2 tests that they called confirmatory tests and then the doctor said to the nurse that she must take a blood sample foe an Elisa whickh they will said to the Laratong lab and that was all that was mentioned,all these tests that the performed on me came back positive,when the Elisa came back within 4 days i went back for the esult and that to was poitive i asked them if they tested correctly and if there is anyway that the tests are wrong and she said no they are conclusive,i went now to a private hospital called the FLORA CLINIC and they retested me and while in the rooms i asked about the western blot and this nurse said that the Elisa is a good enoiugh test to show the hiv antibodies and that every test i had gave the same result so there could not be a mistake,they have now sent my blood samples to Lancet Labortories and am awaiting the results.

Mikie i know i have asked this question before but its weighing heavy on my heart, is there any chance that my husband thats been tested 4 times and all came back negative, is there any reason to believe that he could be positive now? I read what Ann said and i appreciate every word even though the response is sometimes harsh i would like to know what you think being a long term survivor.I came hear as i had many concerns and doudts,i have heard so many different stories and have been told so many different things based on what i know (which is not much at this time),because this is such a nasty virus the knowledge of how it works is unclear to me,so my concern is my husband and if his negative results (x4) could possibly also be incorrect.

As you can see by my messages and the way i speak about this im very worried and scared of the unknown factors,i speak to so many ppl in regards to this but there hasnt been much clarity they have put such fear in my life that i dont know which way to turn,this forum and the ppl hear are my only hope and survival guides, so within this forum i am only trying to find answers and maybe a little friendship.

Offline anonomous

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  • Posts: 28
Re: open to suggestions
« Reply #53 on: July 26, 2012, 02:30:11 AM »
Ps: Sorry Mikie for the spelling typing to fast didnt realise there are words missing until i read it on the post.

Offline anonomous

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  • Posts: 28
Re: open to suggestions
« Reply #54 on: July 31, 2012, 03:11:01 AM »
Good morning to all well I received my results and I am sadly positive my husband remains negative which I am greatful for but now he wants a divorce because he fears that I will make him sick I don't know what to do and I don't know were to turn,I know that we can live normal lives or so I have heard but how do I save a marriage based on this virus,I love my husband but I can't just give my marriage up,please anybody what do I do?

Offline zach

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  • Posts: 1,560
  • not fade away
Re: open to suggestions
« Reply #55 on: July 31, 2012, 07:13:55 AM »
first, very sorry for your diagnosis. i've read the thread, so i'll ask the question. did you confirm your elisa positive with western blot? welcome, anon

as far as your marriage. hiv doesn't have to be the end of your relationship, but it may well end up that way.
gonna go up to the mountain, for to find a little peace
looking over the valley, for the beauty i see
out across the hills, forevermore

Offline Common_ground

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  • Posts: 288
Re: open to suggestions
« Reply #56 on: July 31, 2012, 07:39:40 AM »
Good morning to all well I received my results and I am sadly positive my husband remains negative which I am greatful for but now he wants a divorce because he fears that I will make him sick I don't know what to do and I don't know were to turn,I know that we can live normal lives or so I have heard but how do I save a marriage based on this virus,I love my husband but I can't just give my marriage up,please anybody what do I do?
Sorry it turned out poz in the end. Dont fret thou, youll be ok. :)

I am not sure about the influence of your culture and traditions but if your husband is unwilling to be there for you when you are going through such hard times it would give me,in a situation like this, a reason to question his love.
When I tested poz my girlfriend stood up for me and gave me so much support(she is neg). We grew stronger together and the emotional bond we share today is great and better than ever. You deserve someone who loves you for who you are and I believe this is key to live in happiness as a couple.





2011 May - Neg.
2012 June CD4:205, 16% VL:2676 Start Truvada/Stocrin
2012 July  CD4:234, 18% VL:88
2012 Sep  CD4:238, 17% VL:UD
2013 Feb  CD4:257, 24% VL:UD -viramune/truvada
2013 May CD4:276, 26% VL:UD

Offline britchick

  • Member
  • Posts: 438
Re: open to suggestions
« Reply #57 on: July 31, 2012, 07:56:58 AM »
Hi Anonomous

Im sorry that you tested positive.
Please dont feel alone...people here care (and although im not really qualified to answer questions as a newbie), you will get a lot of support here from the experts and boardies.
Please dont make any fast decisions....but you must put yourself first now.
I will be thinking of you.

Hugs

Britchickx

Offline anonomous

  • Member
  • Posts: 28
Re: open to suggestions
« Reply #58 on: August 02, 2012, 04:15:04 AM »
Good morning to all

Thank you for the posts left and i will be entering a support group as i am now alone, my husband moved out and left me with nothing so i dont have much left in my life, so got to start somewhere,and by any luck or miracle get my marriage back in the process.

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: open to suggestions
« Reply #59 on: August 05, 2012, 08:02:21 AM »
I am sorry to hear about this.
What is left of the old you by the way?  Its important that you remember back and then project into the future and see that the new normal can be good.  Your family still there for you?  Do you have a job?  Friends? 
I broke up with my long term partner and a couple of months later got HIV and those months and maybe a year or two, I thought well, everything is gone. But meanwhile I still went to work, went through the motions of all the daily life, and after a good long moment things just seemed normal again. 

Its hideous hideous hideous that you lost your husband because of this virus.  I can't imagine your heartbreak.  Hopefully there is also a bit of anger for his rather stupid and emotional reactions and actions to the virus. 

I hope the support group is good and that otherwise you do NOT isolate yourself from the people who have always valued you all your life.  In their eyes, you haven't changed.  Does everyone now know about your HIV status?  Anyway, there are plenty of people who don't have an issue with your HIV status.  You have to seek their company now. 

______

Also, you know its still not clear to us, reading your posts, if you have received a confirmatory Western Blot test.  You didn't bother to mention which test came back again, positive, in this recent post.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2012, 08:06:14 AM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

 


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