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Author Topic: Rational versus irrational  (Read 2130 times)

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Offline Dash7719

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Rational versus irrational
« on: July 12, 2012, 04:36:09 PM »
 :P

First as a person who has lost loved ones and has loved ones living healthy lives with this disease, I would like to say thank you very much. I have educated many base off of what I read and what you all have done.

My issue is one I am aware of but the level of risk was one I was never comfortable taking just by my own choice. I have been struggling with being bi sexual and have decided to start seeing a psychologist who has helped me move from cruising bathhouses and just masturbating to other men to actually finally conversing and going to some local bars. Last Sunday I had a few drinks and did some coke ( yes bad combo) I wasn't lit to the point I didn't know what I was doing but my inhibitions were lowered and I was a lot more willing. I never performed oral with out a condom and here I was happy as a pickle living out a fantasy and blowing two guys in a area of the bar reserved for fooling around. I was worried because about a couple weeks ago I had a root canal and crown lengthining which required surgery on my gum near my back molar to fit the crown. The mouth heals pretty fast, but I was reading how this super increases the risk. The stitches are out for about a week and I stopped bleeding 3 days after I had them. But because of the coke I did a lot of cheek biting and caused some abrasions under my tongue and cheek. There was no ejaculation and the frontage was protected...but now im worried sick. Could I have been that unlucky to finally let myself feel comfortable and end up positive over a blow job? I haven't had unprotected sex at all with women and this is as close as I have gotten since my last HIV test.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2012, 04:41:59 PM »
I wouldn't think to test over the event as you described it. As I am sure you are aware, since the advent of serodiscordant couple monitoring there has yet to be a documented instance of HIV transmitted through receptive fellatio (sucking.)

Other STDs, of course, are far more easy to acquire.

Please wear a condom for penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex and you will avoid HIV.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Dash7719

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2012, 04:57:00 PM »
Thanks for the swift reply. So even with the surgery and the abrasions I caused myself that night? I wasn't bleeding, but when you use coke you do some damage to ur mouth at times. I just want to get all my what ifs crossed and dotted. If the surgery and the abrasions mean nothing then I will move the hell on from this and enjoy a happy sex life protected.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2012, 07:01:28 PM »
Thanks for the swift reply. So even with the surgery and the abrasions I caused myself that night? I wasn't bleeding, but when you use coke you do some damage to ur mouth at times. I just want to get all my what ifs crossed and dotted. If the surgery and the abrasions mean nothing then I will move the hell on from this and enjoy a happy sex life protected.

Well, inasmuch as I firmly think ANY sexually active person ought to have twice yearly STD workups, including of course an HIV test, I do NOT see testing as warranted under your particular circumstances in your particular situation.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Dash7719

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2012, 11:45:27 PM »
Thanks. I really hope so...I am starting to create anxiety now wondering if the penis to anus frontage and poking around (no penetration) was with condom in tact. I remember him taking it off...after we stopped fooling around and reaching back making sure it was on...my what's ifs keep saying what if someone else took his place then he switched bak...sounds like my sexuality is the anxiety here not any real risk..the Internet has so much conflicting info and the damn CDC and affiliated sites have me as a high risk because of my surgery idk. Xanax and bedtime thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2012, 11:54:49 PM »
Frottage is not a risk of HIV transmission with or without a condom.

HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.

Offline Dash7719

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2012, 11:58:16 PM »
Rod do you also feel there was no risk from my sucking with week old dental work and abrasions in my mouth from stupid habits of chewing my cheek when intoxicated?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #7 on: July 13, 2012, 12:34:24 AM »
Yes I agree. You did not have an HIV exposure.

Offline Dash7719

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2012, 03:54:13 AM »
I think I have been online too long but giving oral has my confused. I had gum work done and 5 days after stitch removal I gave oral for the first time. The story is above and now I'm shell shocked and thinking I may have HIV. It was a random cruise situation... What's the deal?

Offline Dash7719

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2012, 02:41:25 PM »
Just read what I posted and it sounds stupid. Point blank I had some gum work and gave head 5 days after they took stitches out and I had the root canal. Just concerned

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2012, 06:31:22 PM »
It does not change the assessment. You had no risk.

Offline Dash7719

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #11 on: July 24, 2012, 10:36:10 PM »
I'm trying to stay calm and avoid having to test. I want to overcome this feeling without a test. But I read even on here where Andy and Ann call giving oral minimal risk and where Andy says poor oral health was attributed possibly to some reported cases. I had some gone surgery (crown lengthng) done a couple weeks prior and stitches removed that Tuesday and this incident happened on a Sunday evening. I slept with my GF because I felt educated on my risk level but I am off the reservation. I am also feeling generally achy and feverish...this happened the 8th ARS would happen by now right? What's the real risk here? There was no semen But it lasted a while

Offline Dash7719

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #12 on: July 24, 2012, 10:38:42 PM »
I also was tipsy and really chewed on the inside of my cheek and under my tongue it was read and irritated because of me rolling my tongue around...so obviously oral health was not so hot.

Offline Dash7719

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #13 on: July 24, 2012, 11:16:54 PM »
I also know I put a condom on him and he poked me anally and I know I reached under me and the condom was on...I never had full on anal so I was to tense or full on penetration...so though I felt pressure I do not think he entered...what I am afraid of is what if the condom broke and that's why he stopped... Though I remember him saying to me and the other guy lets take a break and took it off. I'm also thinking what if someone else took his place behind me briefly? Yet I remember the size difference in the two men and am 98% sure that didn't happen...but my mind says "the other guy wasn't protected" idk I'm regretting my curiosity and feel like this thing has finally sniffed out my fear like a dog does and has got me.

Offline Ann

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #14 on: July 25, 2012, 05:35:48 AM »
Dash,

Give it a rest. I can see that the only thing that will convince you that you haven't been infected is a test, so you might as well get your head around that idea right now. As a sexually active adult you should be testing at least once a year anyway.

We're not going to take a trip into the land of whatiffs with you. You did two things - you sucked a dick and you had someone poke their condom covered dick at your tight anus. You are more likely to end up winning the lottery two weeks in a row than you are to end up positive over this situation.

This has more to do with your feelings about having experimented with men than it has to do with the science of hiv transmission.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Dash7719

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #15 on: July 25, 2012, 08:58:37 AM »
I had been tested not to long ago. I just want a risk assessment. Someone can win twice in a row ;)

Offline Dash7719

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #16 on: August 01, 2012, 12:56:09 AM »
Hello... :( I just read on other websites there is a risk and documented cases in medical literature that HIV from giving oral has happened. I'm at my GFs now and sleeping on sofa to avoid sex. Though she has a cold and I am thinking ARS ( I know).

Everyone seems to tip toe around this. I would like to get a straight answer. Based of the abrasions from drinking and doing small amounts of coke which made me roll my tongue around and cause some abrasions and te two week oral surgery as I mentioned above...am I really ok to go on living? I promise I have not put myself at risk by having unprotected sex with anyone else vaginally or anally. I keep feeling like I made a poor choice and that my opportunity to turn around and go home that day was missed and I'm infected. :(

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Rational versus irrational
« Reply #17 on: August 01, 2012, 01:04:14 AM »
Hello... :( I just read on other websites there is a risk and documented cases in medical literature that HIV from giving oral has happened. I'm at my GFs now and sleeping on sofa to avoid sex. Though she has a cold and I am thinking ARS ( I know).

Everyone seems to tip toe around this. I would like to get a straight answer. Based of the abrasions from drinking and doing small amounts of coke which made me roll my tongue around and cause some abrasions and te two week oral surgery as I mentioned above...am I really ok to go on living? I promise I have not put myself at risk by having unprotected sex with anyone else vaginally or anally. I keep feeling like I made a poor choice and that my opportunity to turn around and go home that day was missed and I'm infected. :(


No one here has tip-toed around anything.

You have not had a risk.

The other sites (shock!) are wrong.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

 


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