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Author Topic: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:  (Read 7282 times)

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Offline jm1953

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Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« on: July 23, 2012, 09:42:36 PM »
Hey Members,

Throwing this out for your information and safety.  I forgot I had a profile on a Poz dating site, won't say which one.  It had been a year and all of a sudden a message.  Opened it up, the guy looked nice, message sincere.  He wanted to meet this last weekend just a couple of days before first contact.  We had not spoken on the phone just a couple of messages via the site messenger service.  There was a dramatic age difference on my side, plus his health was excellent next to mine.  I wrote back my concern about the age difference, and my health being not up to par with his.  Didn't seem to bother him.  I had a weird gut feeling from the beginning why this guy picked me out.  I posted back I was not available this weekend but perhaps we could chat by phone.  Guess he got it, and called back everything seemed fine.  Then today the big "F you, you are a lying asshole leading people on, eat dirt and die" type of deal.  Now I'm scared.  Reported him, I'm having to change all my phone numbers.  Had identity theft seven years ago.  Who can you trust these days?  Be careful!!!!!!
Positive 25 years. 7/21/2012 Current CD 4: 780 Viral load: less than 50. 38 to 40%
Current drug regimen, Isentress, , Emtriva, Sustiva Wellbutrin, Klonipin, Allegra, Ambien, Testosterone, Nandrolone, Vicodin, Benedryl, Aspirin, lots of vitamin supplements.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2012, 10:25:05 PM »
My best friend's (now very ex) boyfriend was scammed out of several hundred dollars on PozPersonals. The guy misrepresented himself - Oh, he was very good looking, but a total hustler. And sadly. my best friend's (now very ex) boyfriend was trusting and naive.

Sites like that are RIFE for hustlers and scammers. Why? Because they can often find older or insecure or closeted (about their sexual orientation, marital status, and/or HIV status.) The end result is often identify theft, blackmail, or worse.

Luckily my best friend's (now very ex) boyfriend was only out about five hundred bucks by the end of the ordeal. Even though he FLEW the guy to Atlanta, showed him the town for a week, and gave him the run of his place. He ws lucky the damage wasn't much, much worse. Lethal even.

I submit that people who choose to advertise on PozPersonals (or ANY site for people with a stigma-associated ailment {or of course any online dating site, period}) need to tread especially carefully.

That having been said, I am very sorry for that awful experience. It's not fair, and it's not right.


"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2012, 10:51:12 PM »
I agree with Jonathan-- ANY dating site.

There are tons of scammers and parasites wanting to date positive women. After a while you know which photos are false, grammatical styles, typos, etc. indicate a likely scammer. Income bracket is often a dead giveaway.

The funny trait a number of men pick-- " I don't know when I was diagnosed" is a red flag for me -- either you aren't positive or you are incapable of holding an important date in your memory. (We're talking what year here, not the exact day.) Either way, danger, Will Robinson, danger.

Sorry you had to go through the phone hassle -- what a pain, but you're alive.

Offline wolfter

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2012, 11:34:12 PM »
Sorry you dealt with this.  I've not much experience but I can imagine what you're dealing with. 

And as Em said, someone who doesn't know the appropriate year of their diagnosis is a red flag.  I'm not definitive on my infection date, but I'll never forget the definitive diagnosis date and every emotion that surrounded it.

Wolfie
productivity breeds content

Offline Rockin

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #4 on: July 24, 2012, 11:47:15 AM »
This is bat-shit crazy, I'd never dreamed there would people so nasty and mean-spirited like that. Shocked.

Offline denb45

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2012, 12:30:39 PM »
Daddy Tim  (Moffie) used to tell me & everyone THIS:

Be careful there are a lot of takers out there  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Online Jeff G

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2012, 12:38:12 PM »
When I used to use those sites I learned that if I took it slow and insisted on a good bit of conversation people reveal their true colors most of the time so I didnt have to waste my time meeting them .

I learned if a guy isn't willing to have any meaningful conversations or if he loses his temper because I am not willing to hookup on the fly he probably is someone I should forgo meeting . A internet temper tantrum has no effect on me or my blood pressure .

If you are looking for hookups then this isn't good advice , nothing pisses a horny methed up guy worse than idle chit chat LOL .     

 

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #7 on: July 24, 2012, 01:18:44 PM »
Hey Members,

Throwing this out for your information and safety.  I forgot I had a profile on a Poz dating site, won't say which one.  It had been a year and all of a sudden a message.  Opened it up, the guy looked nice, message sincere.  He wanted to meet this last weekend just a couple of days before first contact.  We had not spoken on the phone just a couple of messages via the site messenger service.  There was a dramatic age difference on my side, plus his health was excellent next to mine.  I wrote back my concern about the age difference, and my health being not up to par with his.  Didn't seem to bother him.  I had a weird gut feeling from the beginning why this guy picked me out.  I posted back I was not available this weekend but perhaps we could chat by phone.  Guess he got it, and called back everything seemed fine.  Then today the big "F you, you are a lying asshole leading people on, eat dirt and die" type of deal.  Now I'm scared.  Reported him, I'm having to change all my phone numbers.  Had identity theft seven years ago.  Who can you trust these days?  Be careful!!!!!!

::)

Fucking stiffen up. If you won't say which site then what's the point of this thread?

If you've come to grief on Poz Personals we're all ears. But if this is some Craigslist transaction gone wrong then you've gotten everything you deserve.

MtD

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2012, 06:28:48 PM »
This is bat-shit crazy, I'd never dreamed there would people so nasty and mean-spirited like that. Shocked.

Really? Are you new?

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #9 on: July 24, 2012, 06:31:13 PM »
::)

Fucking stiffen up. If you won't say which site then what's the point of this thread?

If you've come to grief on Poz Personals we're all ears. But if this is some Craigslist transaction gone wrong then you've gotten everything you deserve.

MtD

THAT is why I immediately mentioned PozPersonals in my reply. Not only because it was the place where by best friend's (now very ex) boyfriend got scammed, but because it seemed odd to avoid mentioning the site.

If Poz.com decides that critiquing pozpersonals.com is discouraged, then there's  a hole in this site's credibility the size of a stretch limo.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline jm1953

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2012, 08:24:47 PM »
::)

Fucking stiffen up. If you won't say which site then what's the point of this thread?

If you've come to grief on Poz Personals we're all ears. But if this is some Craigslist transaction gone wrong then you've gotten everything you deserve.

MtD

It was Poz Personals!  You are right, what's the point of bringing this up without revealing the site.  Guess I have so much respect for the forums run by POZ magazine I didn't want to put it out there.  Sounds like other people have been having problems with this site too.  I never go on Craigslist, ever.  Heard major nightmares.

Positive 25 years. 7/21/2012 Current CD 4: 780 Viral load: less than 50. 38 to 40%
Current drug regimen, Isentress, , Emtriva, Sustiva Wellbutrin, Klonipin, Allegra, Ambien, Testosterone, Nandrolone, Vicodin, Benedryl, Aspirin, lots of vitamin supplements.

Offline jm1953

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #11 on: July 24, 2012, 08:31:37 PM »
Thanks everyone for your posts.  They really helped me cope better with this and I appreciate your valuable input.  This really through me over the edge as I have had good success with HIV sites a long while ago.  Now I've learned a valuable lesson.  Most of all, I feel really violated for doing absolutely nothing and then being raked over the coals.  I think one of you are right, that since I was a bit cautious and didn't jump into the fire, the guy got pissed off and moved on to the next victim.  Who knows!

A friend of mine back East met a guy in a bar last year.  They hit it off, the guy was a charmer and they ended up moving in together at my friends house.  One day he came home from work, and he had been cleaned out.  Apparently, according to the police, there are a ring of people who get next to both men and women, then clean them out.  Makes this world even a tougher place to trust people, or know what they will do, especially in light of the Colorado shooting.  How senseless and tragic.

Thanks for your support as usual.
Positive 25 years. 7/21/2012 Current CD 4: 780 Viral load: less than 50. 38 to 40%
Current drug regimen, Isentress, , Emtriva, Sustiva Wellbutrin, Klonipin, Allegra, Ambien, Testosterone, Nandrolone, Vicodin, Benedryl, Aspirin, lots of vitamin supplements.

Offline Rockin

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #12 on: July 24, 2012, 10:00:12 PM »
Well...shit happens. Cliche but it always conforts me. This kind of stuff happens from the very beginning of the whole internet dating thing.

Truth is you can find and be scammed by people anywhere, in a bar or through a website. Just be smart and get to know someone properly and hope for the best.

Online Jeff G

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #13 on: July 24, 2012, 10:16:39 PM »
I think we have learned if your going to date you need to get a security deposit and carry a taser . 

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #14 on: July 24, 2012, 11:57:32 PM »
I think we have learned if your going to date you need to get a security deposit and carry a taser . 

Or, maybe... If I am approached by a guy online whose picture is that of someone who would not look twice at me in a bar/club/grocery store, then red flags absolutely NEED to go up. And stay there.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #15 on: July 24, 2012, 11:58:18 PM »
I've been on the POZ personals site, looking for friends or just people to chat with.  I've noticed several people who say they don't know when they were diagnosed.  I always thought that was strange.  How would you not know the year you were dx'd, especially if you're 20 years-old?  But, I guess that is an option the site gives people to say.  I've also noticed town names that are misspelled in profiles.   

When vacationing in Florida, I noticed a profile with the exact same profile pic as one I often see from here in Kentucky.  The KY profile says he lives here.  The FL profile says he lives there.  I didn't think much of it--he may have a vacation home down there.  I struck up a conversation.  Eventually, I asked him about the the two different profiles.  He stopped communication, after that.  So, I think something was up.  At the exact same time, the KY profile said he was in KY, while the FL profile said he was currently in FL.  This happened another time.  That time, the guy acted surprised, saying someone must be using his pic.   

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #16 on: July 25, 2012, 12:03:44 AM »
I've been on the POZ personals site, looking for friends or just people to chat with. 

Uh, sure Theo.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #17 on: July 25, 2012, 12:50:24 AM »
Uh, sure Theo.

I'm insulted by this insinuation that I'm looking for strange.  Well, I never!  ;D 

   

Offline denb45

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #18 on: July 25, 2012, 03:12:47 PM »
Teddy, I thought you were married to a long time partner, what the hell are you doing trolling such web sites  :o

edited to add: you might end up in the daymum Syphilis Thread if your not careful  :-[


Hugs

DEN  8)
« Last Edit: July 25, 2012, 03:15:12 PM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #19 on: July 25, 2012, 05:23:15 PM »
A hundred years ago when I got out of college, I took a job in our local newspaper.  The paper wanted to increase their revenues by adding a Personals section.  The employees were all asked to write a few to get the ball rolling.  Mine was:

GAY LOGGERS CAMP OUT!
Frolic in the Redwoods with real men, The Loggers.  Call
(my dad's name), (real work phone number)

Dad got a lot of calls and thirty years later I still get a laugh. 

A couple of years ago, I went to a seminar on internet advertising at either the Local Sheraton or Hilton.  It was dull, the dinner was garbage and the conference room was filled with people who were retired, living on fixed incomes.  The theme was buy a domain name from us, we will build your site and charge a fee to manage the site.  I got 2 things from that seminar:

1.  The Sheraton or Hilton should be embarrassed over the food coming out of their kitchens.

2.  The first scene in their presentation was a cartoon of 2 dogs.  One dog was on the computer and the other one said, "They don't know we are dogs"
 8)  Have the best day
Michael

 
« Last Edit: July 25, 2012, 05:36:05 PM by Oceanbeach »

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #20 on: July 25, 2012, 07:22:37 PM »

2.  The first scene in their presentation was a cartoon of 2 dogs.  One dog was on the computer and the other one said, "They don't know we are dogs"

I like this image.

Offline denb45

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #21 on: July 25, 2012, 07:27:37 PM »
Micheal, I sure miss Guerneville, California, we used to go up there every summer and stay of about a week
it was a very nice 2 hour drive up from on Hwy 12 in the Stockton, Lodi area  :D


Hugs

DEN  8)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #22 on: July 25, 2012, 08:58:56 PM »
I like this image

Here is another one Miss Em.  The story was on all the networks the other day.  It was called the largest child porn sting in California history.    I think 17 men were arrested in their homes in several bay area cities.  Law enforcement tracked them through Craigslist.  Neighbors of the men charged were interviewed.  One said, he seemed so nice and quiet, we always saw him through the window on his computer and just thought he was a geek.   8)  Have the best day
Michael

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #23 on: July 25, 2012, 09:17:15 PM »
Micheal, I sure miss Guerneville, California, we used to go up there every summer and stay of about a week
it was a very nice 2 hour drive up from on Hwy 12 in the Stockton, Lodi area  :D


Hugs

DEN  8)

I miss Guerneville too, it is only an hour away but I moved to San Francisco last year, with the man I met on a dating site 6 years ago.   8)  Have the best day
Michael

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #24 on: July 26, 2012, 12:07:29 AM »
One said, he seemed so nice and quiet, we always saw him through the window on his computer and just thought he was a geek.   

Brings a new meaning to GEEK - Getting Erections Entails Kiddies

Offline jm1953

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #25 on: July 27, 2012, 08:39:35 PM »
Just as a sidenote.  This guy was reported to Poz Personals a few days ago and still is on the site, actually on line.  After reading his profile again, he states he doesn't even "know" if he is HIV+ bearing the question, why are you on a POZ site?
If Poz Personals allows people like this and doesn't do any thing maybe our moderators can!
Positive 25 years. 7/21/2012 Current CD 4: 780 Viral load: less than 50. 38 to 40%
Current drug regimen, Isentress, , Emtriva, Sustiva Wellbutrin, Klonipin, Allegra, Ambien, Testosterone, Nandrolone, Vicodin, Benedryl, Aspirin, lots of vitamin supplements.

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #26 on: July 27, 2012, 10:04:42 PM »
There are men looking for women who have profiles in which they state they are negative on the site. I figure they are either a) hard up and/or b) figure they're gonna get some extra feel good out of dipping down to give a hand to some poor babe who would be gaga over such an open-minded guy, or c) he's a financial parasite eslithering about for a meal.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #27 on: July 27, 2012, 10:13:50 PM »
There are men looking for women who have profiles in which they state they are negative on the site. I figure they are either a) hard up and/or b) figure they're gonna get some extra feel good out of dipping down to give a hand to some poor babe who would be gaga over such an open-minded guy, or c) he's a financial parasite eslithering about for a meal.

d) teene peenees.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #28 on: July 28, 2012, 12:44:16 AM »
Ah yes! That would be another great reason to shop at the HIV Poz Gal Market!

Offline Ann

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #29 on: July 28, 2012, 05:53:49 AM »

If Poz Personals allows people like this and doesn't do any thing maybe our moderators can!


Hmm... well, it doesn't really work like that. There was a day when POZ and AIDSmeds were two totally different sites. Peter Staley (awesome activist - google him) started AIDSmeds in.... 2000? Maybe 1999. Dunno. Don't remember. I landed here in March 2001.  The site was much, much smaller back then and the forums were an old-fashioned affair and difficult to navigate. Then in the summer of 2001 Peter changed the forums to software called FuseTalk and the place took off.

In 2006 (or was it 2005?) Peter sold AM to POZ and in some ways, AM is still a separate site*. The forums, despite the URL (forums.poz.com/), belong to the AM side of things. Don't ask me to supply all the details, cuz stuff like that just falls outta my head. Tim, Andy and I don't have anything to do with the running of POZ personals. I guess that's the top and bottom** of it, but now you kinda know why.

*check it out - http://www.aidsmeds.com/ and http://www.poz.com/

**heh... top and bottom. :D

Anyway... I would suggest that anyone having problems with POZ personals should send an email to personals@poz.com to register your complaint. If you want feedback from them, say so in your email.




d) teene peenees.

Have magnifying glass, will travel. 8)



edited because I bloody well can.
« Last Edit: July 28, 2012, 06:06:48 AM by Ann »
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HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jm1953

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #30 on: July 28, 2012, 10:48:56 PM »
Thanks Ann for the response.  I did what you suggested so we shall see what happens on the other site.  Completely understand that both sites are two seperate entities.

Appreciate it,

Jeff
Positive 25 years. 7/21/2012 Current CD 4: 780 Viral load: less than 50. 38 to 40%
Current drug regimen, Isentress, , Emtriva, Sustiva Wellbutrin, Klonipin, Allegra, Ambien, Testosterone, Nandrolone, Vicodin, Benedryl, Aspirin, lots of vitamin supplements.

Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #31 on: July 29, 2012, 08:17:02 AM »
A hundred years ago when I got out of college, I took a job in our local newspaper.  The paper wanted to increase their revenues by adding a Personals section.  The employees were all asked to write a few to get the ball rolling.  Mine was:

GAY LOGGERS CAMP OUT!
Frolic in the Redwoods with real men, The Loggers.  Call
(my dad's name), (real work phone number)

Dad got a lot of calls and thirty years later I still get a laugh. 

A couple of years ago, I went to a seminar on internet advertising at either the Local Sheraton or Hilton.  It was dull, the dinner was garbage and the conference room was filled with people who were retired, living on fixed incomes.  The theme was buy a domain name from us, we will build your site and charge a fee to manage the site.  I got 2 things from that seminar:

1.  The Sheraton or Hilton should be embarrassed over the food coming out of their kitchens.

2.  The first scene in their presentation was a cartoon of 2 dogs.  One dog was on the computer and the other one said, "They don't know we are dogs"
 8)  Have the best day
Michael
is this it?
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Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #32 on: July 29, 2012, 08:28:12 AM »
I've met my boyfriend on a site and I had reservations for letting him stay the night.  I guess I was mostly afraid that he would steal my stuff while I was asleep.  But the next morning we woke up and he said, "thanks for not killing me" or something to that effect.  I was surprise for that thought was in the back of my head also.  I'll spare the details of my imagination.  But we are together and in love.
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Offline emeraldize

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #33 on: July 29, 2012, 08:55:41 AM »
But the next morning we woke up and he said, "thanks for not killing me" or something to that effect.

Watch Dateline or some of the other documentaries about spouses/partners offing each other -- and it's appropo to envision that's something everyone should say to their loved one over breakfast.

"Honey, thanks for not killing me whilst I slept last night. Have the best day ever!"

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #34 on: July 29, 2012, 05:50:08 PM »
is this it?

Why YES! Red Dragon, it is  8)  Have the best day
Michael

 

Offline Pilot

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #35 on: August 01, 2012, 02:07:29 AM »
At my age I figure the odds of finding a mate on a social site or anywhere else are about equal to finding a honest politician.   


Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #36 on: August 01, 2012, 02:54:51 AM »
At my age I figure the odds of finding a mate on a social site or anywhere else are about equal to finding a honest politician.

Hey Pilot, Of course a real lady never tells her age but, in your opinion, what age is the appropriate cut off age for finding someone on (lets say) Craigslist to date?  I wonder if the same rules would apply on Christian Mingle 8)  Have the best day
Michael

Offline Pilot

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #37 on: August 01, 2012, 03:52:11 AM »
Michael, at my age of late fifties, it is just about impossible since from my experience the only ones you find on those sites are phonies and people my age who think they will be attractive to men half their age. Not to mention the poz factor thrown in.  The only thing I get from them is the humor of people thinking they are going to find anyone for real. Some of the ads crack me up. But as some would say nothing ventured nothing gained.  I would not bet the farm on any social site being for real and that includes poz personals.

Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #38 on: August 01, 2012, 01:52:52 PM »
either way "you have to kiss allot of frogs before you find your prince or princess."
« Last Edit: August 03, 2012, 09:16:01 AM by red_Dragon888 »
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

ďNeither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline Oceanbeach

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #39 on: August 01, 2012, 02:46:22 PM »
Hey Pilot,Oh Pilot,

As I suspected, I am older than you.  When I was your age, I opened a profile on a gay dating site instead of Poz Personals because it limits the possible number of contacts by my estimate of 40%.

My searches were limited to 50 miles with an age range of 45-65, I blocked every profile which for any reason, would not be suitable in a person to grow old and die with.  Everyone says they like someone with a sense of humor, the gentleman who responded to "I'm bold, brash and obnoxious in public, when could we meet?" is the love of my life (several years).  Have you ever seen the reflection of someone looking at you when they are not aware you see them.  That defines how they really feel about you and finding a person who sparkles and shines as they introduce you close friends is hard work, but worth the effort.

Having left Los Angeles for small town USA a dozen years ago, I went on a site which was an early version of Gay.com and I got a few nice dates, like dinner in the Napa Valley and a weekend in a Sonoma Coast farmhouse with the author of some books on outdoor entertaining.  He checked out with over 50 titles at Barnes and Noble but other dates were second to a good book, you will kiss frogs enroute   8)  Have the best day
Michael

   

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #40 on: August 05, 2012, 03:05:05 PM »
I've given up trying to meet people online.  It has not worked well for me.  I am sticking to the old fashioned way of meeting people in real life. 
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline Tower0724

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #41 on: August 10, 2012, 03:01:19 PM »
I currently have a profile on pozpersonals. I have met some nice guys there, but also some conceited assholes. I'm amazed not only at the level of discrimination that exists in the gay community toward hiv+ people, but also at the sheer rudeness of poz people toward people who are also struggling with this disease. I make it a point to at least respond to all messages I get, but occasionally am not granted the same courtesy when I send a message out. It's sad, but I guess it's the nature of our culture.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #42 on: August 10, 2012, 03:09:58 PM »
HIV+ people suffer much higher rates of depression than negative people. This is often reflected in sketchy dating behavior. It's not rocket science to figure out it's not really a matter of lacking  proper etiquette. Add in higher alcohol/substance abuse to the equation as well.

And, of course, someone can suddenly suffer some physical malady and not want to deal with replying to their old personals listing, etc.

At the end of the day nobody is forcing any of us to use internet dating sources, you can figure some way to meet people in person.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2012, 03:11:35 PM by Miss Philicia »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #43 on: August 10, 2012, 03:24:43 PM »
My best friend's (now very ex) boyfriend was scammed out of several hundred dollars on PozPersonals. The guy misrepresented himself - Oh, he was very good looking, but a total hustler. And sadly. my best friend's (now very ex) boyfriend was trusting and naive.

Sites like that are RIFE for hustlers and scammers. Why? Because they can often find older or insecure or closeted (about their sexual orientation, marital status, and/or HIV status.) The end result is often identify theft, blackmail, or worse.

Luckily my best friend's (now very ex) boyfriend was only out about five hundred bucks by the end of the ordeal. Even though he FLEW the guy to Atlanta, showed him the town for a week, and gave him the run of his place. He ws lucky the damage wasn't much, much worse. Lethal even.

I submit that people who choose to advertise on PozPersonals (or ANY site for people with a stigma-associated ailment {or of course any online dating site, period}) need to tread especially carefully.

That having been said, I am very sorry for that awful experience. It's not fair, and it's not right.

Having common sense goes a long way to avoid those situations.
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #44 on: August 10, 2012, 03:39:11 PM »
Michael, at my age of late fifties, it is just about impossible since from my experience the only ones you find on those sites are phonies and people my age who think they will be attractive to men half their age. Not to mention the poz factor thrown in.  The only thing I get from them is the humor of people thinking they are going to find anyone for real. Some of the ads crack me up. But as some would say nothing ventured nothing gained.  I would not bet the farm on any social site being for real and that includes poz personals.

I belong to a support group and it's gross how all the older guys flock over to the new young guys that come and scare them away into never coming back.  That's why the average age is around 60 there.  People want younger and better looking than themselves.  That's why if a guy in his 20's shows up he won't ever be seen again.  There is one good looking guy in his 30's there, but maybe he is just happy with the attention, otherwise it's hard for someone under 50 to come back more than once.

Here's a story of two guys who are older and not attractive, not even their personalities.  One guy in his late 60s or 70s illegally went to Cuba through Mexico and talked about how nice the guys were.  Of course they were nice, they were hookers.  Another guy about the same age was talking about a married 23 year old guy coming over on his birthday and him trying to talk him into F'ing him bareback.  Maybe he paid more for that. 

One guy in his late 40's came in one time, he seemed like he was hyped up on something and the only thing he wanted to know was where to find guys in their 20's.   It just seems to me that a lot of older gay guys in their mid 60's and up are mostly a-holes. 

People think they are better than they are and want to date younger and hotter than themselves.  I just want a nice guy who is around my age. 

This week a thing that looks like the fat monster from the first Hellraiser movie got mad at me when I made a silly joke. 
« Last Edit: August 10, 2012, 03:42:41 PM by LiveWithIt »
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline wolfter

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #45 on: August 10, 2012, 03:57:04 PM »
LMFAO, I'm under 50 and would never allow someone else determine if I would return.  Do the modern day young fags not have the balls to speak up?  What a terrible opinion you have of older gay men.  I know a few and they don't usually behave in this manner.  But I guess if you're in a meat market, you might need to accept that some of the meat might be aged. :o
productivity breeds content

Online Jeff G

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #46 on: August 10, 2012, 04:04:59 PM »
Hi LiveWithit ... look me up when you get to be my age and I will share my chloroform recipe with you .  ;)

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #47 on: August 10, 2012, 04:07:46 PM »
From what I can ascertain, LiveWithIt has been living with "it" for at least 15 years, so unless he was infected when he was 10 years old he can't be a spring chicken himself.

But irregardless, an HIV support group IMO shouldn't be used as a dating service. If you're sitting there sizing up every member's appearance, age, and dating potential there's something wrong with you.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline wolfter

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #48 on: August 10, 2012, 04:14:57 PM »
But irregardless,

Oops, you're showing your WVA influence with them there words. ;D
productivity breeds content

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #49 on: August 10, 2012, 04:26:27 PM »
Oops, you're showing your WVA influence with them there words. ;D

The Oxford English Dictionary describes it as a North American colloquialism. It is not specific to the hollows of wild, wonderful West Virginia.

But you are correct that it is not a proper word in the context of an English class.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2012, 04:30:14 PM by Miss Philicia »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline wolfter

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #50 on: August 10, 2012, 05:51:59 PM »
My entire family uses that word and I cringe every time.  I have explained it over and over to them and my mother just tells me pack away my high priced education as the rest of them knew what was meant.

I'm just surprised you used it, that's all.  But I reckon that's O.K.   :o 

Kinda reminds me of our yearly reunion down home when my cousin who graduated from Purdue University used the word "antithesis" while everyone was smoking some good Meigs county bud (in the family graveyard no less) and everyones's jaws just dropped open in complete misunderstanding.

I whispered to my favorite hillbilly cousin that the word simply means the opposite to which he replied, "then why didn't he just say that".
productivity breeds content

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #51 on: August 10, 2012, 06:51:39 PM »
From what I can ascertain, LiveWithIt has been living with "it" for at least 15 years, so unless he was infected when he was 10 years old he can't be a spring chicken himself.



No, I was 11.  sad story really.   :-X


















No I'm more of a cock in my 40s and sometimes I am the baby in the room so it feels kind of nice.
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline mecch

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #52 on: August 10, 2012, 08:08:04 PM »
I belong to a support group and it's gross how all the older guys flock over to the new young guys that come and scare them away into never coming back.  That's why the average age is around 60 there.  People want younger and better looking than themselves.  That's why if a guy in his 20's shows up he won't ever be seen again.  There is one good looking guy in his 30's there, but maybe he is just happy with the attention, otherwise it's hard for someone under 50 to come back more than once.

Here's a story of two guys who are older and not attractive, not even their personalities.  One guy in his late 60s or 70s illegally went to Cuba through Mexico and talked about how nice the guys were.  Of course they were nice, they were hookers.  Another guy about the same age was talking about a married 23 year old guy coming over on his birthday and him trying to talk him into F'ing him bareback.  Maybe he paid more for that. 

One guy in his late 40's came in one time, he seemed like he was hyped up on something and the only thing he wanted to know was where to find guys in their 20's.   It just seems to me that a lot of older gay guys in their mid 60's and up are mostly a-holes. 

People think they are better than they are and want to date younger and hotter than themselves.  I just want a nice guy who is around my age. 

This week a thing that looks like the fat monster from the first Hellraiser movie got mad at me when I made a silly joke.

Jesus why do you go to that group if they are all so awful as described.

You got a point about men being dogs wanting younger "bitches" as it were. But this applies to HIV+ and HIV-, straight and gay.   

This sort of delusion is depressing, boring and sometimes disgusting, and I don't waste time with such people.  Why do you?  Even laughing at them or judging them doesn't return good energy.  Just stay away from them why don't you.

ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline denb45

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #53 on: August 10, 2012, 08:25:36 PM »
To the OP.......Maybe you need to find another support group, that one you describe sure sounds like something I wouldn't want to go to, does any actual support even happen there, sure sounds like it doesn't to me......just sayin  :-[


Hugs


DEN
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #54 on: August 10, 2012, 11:50:32 PM »
Jesus why do you go to that group if they are all so awful as described.

You got a point about men being dogs wanting younger "bitches" as it were. But this applies to HIV+ and HIV-, straight and gay.   

This sort of delusion is depressing, boring and sometimes disgusting, and I don't waste time with such people.  Why do you?  Even laughing at them or judging them doesn't return good energy.  Just stay away from them why don't you.

It's not all bad, most of the worst show up one time (it's once a week) and never come back.  The guy who leads it is a nice guy, and so are most of the other guys, including some of the older guys.
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline onemoretime

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #55 on: August 12, 2012, 06:16:55 PM »
I actually sometimes have trouble remembering if i was diagnosed in 03 or 04,  as I get older.  i sometimes have to refer to my data on this site to be sure.  i also purchased my apartment the same time, so that confuses me too.  because i signed the contract dec 03 and closed July 04, so that trips me up.  I do however remember the exact moment, the feeling of terror and paralyzing shock. even though i was 95% sure this time the result was going to be poz.  had some strange post infection issues. numbness in arms, soar wrists, infections on face and chest.  I just new my "luck" had run out.  had had those thoughts other times and still tested neg so I had hope.  but i do remember that day, but not allays the year strangely.
08/04 diag 490 cd4 vl 50,000
10/25/05 436 50,513 hvb 1.1 billion
12/13/05 truvada sustiva
02/16/06 742 und, hpb 63,000
04/27/06 740 und hpb 60,000
01/05/07 458 und hvb und
03/08   470 undetectable still on atripla. Non smoking (chantex)
08/08 cd4 550 undetectable hiv, Hep B UND. Atripla
06/09  cd4 444, vl undetectable testo 130
09/09/09 CD4 687 46% UND  Testo 213 started androgel
10/12/09 cd4 682 46% und testo 597
01/12/10 cd4 842 48% und testo 434
041010 cd4 693  53% testo 492
100410 cd4 568 48% testo 523
012711 cd4 523 hcv 56 testo 596
083011 cd4 280 Hcv/HIV und
042912 cd4 158 hcv /hiv und, was on hep c for 11 months. do have ssdi filed and getting LTD
061912 cd4 151, bactrum, hep c and hiv und
071712 cd4 287 52% HIV HCV und
112012 cd4 520

Offline denb45

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #56 on: August 12, 2012, 06:35:23 PM »
Well as long as most realize that it's a support group and NOT a  dating service,  only then can any real support actually take place, that's why most of those types don't come back , if you were wondering why  ;)


hugs

Den
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #57 on: August 12, 2012, 07:25:46 PM »
Well as long as most realize that it's a support group and NOT a  dating service,  only then can any real support actually take place, that's why most of those types don't come back , if you were wondering why  ;)


hugs

Den

Ahem!  Stop cruising the boys in speedos on TV and pay attention...


But irregardless, an HIV support group IMO shouldn't be used as a dating service. If you're sitting there sizing up every member's appearance, age, and dating potential there's something wrong with you.
don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. 
Last regimen:  Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: Just got harassed big time on an HIV dating site:
« Reply #58 on: August 13, 2012, 12:56:44 PM »
I actually sometimes have trouble remembering if i was diagnosed in 03 or 04,
I'm not sure when I was diagnosed either.  I think it was 97 but it may have been a year or two difference.  I try to remember via where I lived at the time and how old I was around then and where I was working, etc, but I'm not sure.  It may have been a year or two earlier.  One day I might have to dig up a copy of my old medical records to find out.  I got a copy when I moved to Florida from my old doctor, it was as thick as a book.   I don't know if my records from before I stared seeing him are in there because I went to a clinic before then,
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

 


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