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My boyfriend is POS, I'm NEG

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jaroro:

--- Quote from: magnoman on August 03, 2012, 02:52:38 AM ---Anyway I don't want to hijack jaroro's thread, so thanks for listening... and again thanks for your great advice both here and on numerous other threads I have read on forums.poz.com.

--- End quote ---

Your not hijacking anything, ask away, this is everyone's forum. :)

I went to the doctor with my partner and the doctor was a total jackass. He didn't help at all, he was in a rush, angry and none of it was our fault. It was bad luck we got the appointment when he was in that mood. Anyway, my partner has another scheduled visit not with the doctor but with the lab where they're going to take his CD4 and viral load exams to see how he's doing and then see what meds he's going to be on. But unfortunately, also here where I live all this process is so slow. I just kind of feel bad waiting and not see him be on meds knowing that the meds are going to help.

One thing my partner is worried about and that the Doctor didn't help at all was the fact that he came off meds one time and he wanted to know how much this affected him in future terms. I told my partner about this forum and he wants to ask questions that the doctor obviously didn't answer. Would it be appropriate or should we just look up for another doctor.

Thank you.

magnoman:
Sorry to hear about the doctor being a jackass.

My guess is that it would definitely be appropriate to point your bf in the direction of these forums.

And it may well be worthwhile looking for a different doctor.  One of the things that I have picked up on is that there needs to be a good relationship between a doctor and patient when it comes to long term healthcare.  So whilst it might have been a one off with the doctor first time round, there is nothing wrong to see if your partner gels better with a different one.

There is some great advice to be found on here and I think that the more informed you can be the better your life will be.

Ann:

--- Quote from: jaroro on August 03, 2012, 06:55:47 PM ---
I told my partner about this forum and he wants to ask questions that the doctor obviously didn't answer. Would it be appropriate or should we just look up for another doctor.


--- End quote ---

Your partner is more than welcome to create an account. Please do me a favour first - send me a PM and let me know what user name he wants to use so it doesn't get rejected during the approvals process. Thanks! :)

Everyone has bad days, including doctors. However, if this doctor proves to be consistently in a bad mood or if it seems like he has little interest in your partner's questions and problems, then by all means, find a new doctor. He shouldn't have to put up with a doctor who doesn't care about him.

jaroro:
Hello, sorry for bringing this topic back up again, Im not sure if I was supposed to create a new topic or just continue in the one I preciously created.

My boyfriend who is POS, went to the doctor today (him alone), and apparently he's in really good health, good shape and he made it seem its all wonderful with his health right now and that he doesn't need to be on meds right now, so he made an appointment until 4 months from now to check back on his health status.

Now, my question is, me being NEG and not knowing much about this.. is this actually possible? I though everyone has to be on meds if your POS to take care of yourself for the long run. So Im not quite sure what to make out of this.

Thank you!

jkinatl2:

--- Quote from: jaroro on November 09, 2012, 02:11:13 PM ---Hello, sorry for bringing this topic back up again, Im not sure if I was supposed to create a new topic or just continue in the one I preciously created.

My boyfriend who is POS, went to the doctor today (him alone), and apparently he's in really good health, good shape and he made it seem its all wonderful with his health right now and that he doesn't need to be on meds right now, so he made an appointment until 4 months from now to check back on his health status.

Now, my question is, me being NEG and not knowing much about this.. is this actually possible? I though everyone has to be on meds if your POS to take care of yourself for the long run. So Im not quite sure what to make out of this.

Thank you!

--- End quote ---

First off, might want to consider using the term POZ. I keep reading POS as "Piece Of Shit" which I am pretty sure you don't mean :)

Secondly, many people go years and years after seroconverting before they are required to go on meds. There is mounting evidence that early treatment is better, but mitigated against the idea of daily medication, affording that medication, and dealing with potential side effects (both long and short term) I can certainly understand a person wanting to wait a bit.

Taking meds is a terribly personal decision, and until someone is ready to commit to what is currently a lifetime of medication (and the potential struggles, at least in the beginning, with potential side effects, insurance, and the like) then waiting is better than non-adherence. Of course, some people test positive with poor enough numbers that they really don't have much of a choice. Fortunately, it looks like your partner is not one of those folks.

It might be that having a poor doctor might be impacting his desire to pursue meds. He might not want to deepen the relationship with this doctor, when another doctor might want/need to run resistance testing and other labs to determine the best treatment fit.

Another consideration is the viral load. The lower it is, the less of a chance of transmission in case of a condom break (down to nearly zero with an undetectable viral load.) I don't know how much this will factor into your partner's decision, but it's a conversation worth having at some point.

Regardless, it seems as though your partner has time to make these determinations. I hope that his first call is to secure a relationship with his doctor that is as optimal as possible. It will need to be a very good fit in order to insure he gets the right kind of care in a timely fashion by a competent professional who listens to him.



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