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My boyfriend is POS, I'm NEG

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jaroro:

--- Quote from: Ann on July 24, 2012, 05:48:00 AM ---Good luck with your relationship. It can work, but like every other relationship out there, you'll face challenges. May you both have the wisdom and strength to rise to those challenges together, as a team.

--- End quote ---

Thanks a lot to everyone for your support and answers to my questions. Im really glad on the decision I've made to stay with my partner and go through this together even though we haven't been together for long. No human deserves to be treated differently and mostly not feel loved by another human being just because of this virus.

This tuesday he starts again with his doctors appointment on the whole meds thing, im going with him and supporting every step. Thank you all! :)

Ann:
Hey Jaroro, good to hear from you again. I was afraid you might have been scared off. We can be a formidable bunch at times, but we mean well. ;)

It's good to know that you'll be going to your partner's appointment with him. Make sure you discuss the four ways of protecting your negative status I talked about (see reply #22) with the doctor and your partner. I hope his doctor is up-to-date on this stuff and has a sex-positive attitude towards poz/neg couples. Keep us posted on how it goes. Remember, your experience will help others, so let us know what happens.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx

magnoman:
Just to say I am in a similar position.  In that I too am in a serodiscordant relationship with someone who recently was diagnosed with HIV.

My bf currently is adamant that we shouldn't have sex anymore, even going so far as to say I should have sex with other people.  My argument that it is no more dangerous making love with him than with anyone else, indeed possibly safer as we know his status is currently not holding much water with him.

Anyway just wanted to say Hi, having lurked on these forums for a while and to say that my thoughts are with you both.

Ann:
Hi Magnoman, welcome to the forums.

Is your partner on meds yet? Because if he is, once he gets his viral load down to undetectable, the chances of him transmitting his virus are drastically reduced. Provided you always use condoms for anal intercourse, you'll be just fine where hiv is concerned regardless of his viral load. Make sure you read the condom and lube links in my signature line - a correctly used condom rarely breaks.

It's not unusual for a newly diagnosed person to be feeling how your partner is feeling. He may just need more time to process it all. I'm sure your love and support will help him more than you may realise. Hang in there!

magnoman:
Thanks so much Ann, I have been lurking here for a while and just reading a lot.

I have to say thank you to those of you who give up your time on this forum with enormous patience and grace.  It must get frustrating being asked the same things over and over.

No, he isn't on meds here.  We are still waiting for the first blood test to take place and then apparently it might be another 40 days before we get the results.

The first positive Elisa was back in March, the Western Blot was negative so we were feeling semi relaxed, but then three months later we did another Elisa which was also positive and the confirmatory test that they used this time, which was an ImmunoFluorescense test rather than another Western blot was positive.

Unfortunately where we live the medical system is pretty slow, so we should have the first results back in September or so.  And then they put people on meds once the tcells drop below 250.  Depending on the first result I may look into getting private treatment to get him onto meds earlier. We will see.

Anyway I don't want to hijack jaroro's thread, so thanks for listening... and again thanks for your great advice both here and on numerous other threads I have read on forums.poz.com.

Depending on the first blood results I may well post again and ask for advice on that issue, or just carry on reading and try to become more informed.

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