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Author Topic: New Doc- new/different state of being...?  (Read 1123 times)

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Offline dave27yrspoz

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  • Posts: 3
New Doc- new/different state of being...?
« on: July 11, 2012, 05:46:29 AM »
My name is Dave, I was diagnosed in 1985 went into denial only to find that years later I needed to find treatment.  I found a clinic that was helpful both with my medical needs & psychological needs, ie:"great therapist"!  Great physicians too, however; they were always giving off a vibe that every little thing was cause for concern molding me into a "this year may be my last mentality".  This went on for 15 or so yrs. & with that I felt I was nearing my "end" & decided to live where I could enjoy whatever time I had left.  I picked up & moved to South Florida, nice weather, the beach, & here is the funny thing; "A GREAT DOCTOR"!!!  He has a complete opposite, & more positive approach to my situation which has thrown me into a "new/different" state of being.  I don't know how to think this way!  I am pissed that I didn't have this kind of Doc yrs ago, "ya know?"  Anyway, I hope you see my dilemma, because I am so confused about my "life" that, I feel I've just been given, & I feel like it's too late because, this late in the game with infections popping up, drugs not working, counts declining, etc., etc., etc., "I AM PISSED".  I have had to fight yr. after yr. with the best attitude I could muster, & now, that I have a doc that matches, what I now am drained of...?  Sorry for the rambling, just a little confused, & wondering where to go from here. I am on my last combo available to me because of resistance to most drugs now & if there is anything I need most at this point it is a stable/positive state of being & I am finding it hard to come by these days, "ya know?"  Thanks for listening....Dave   

Offline denb45

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  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: New Doc- new/different state of being...?
« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2012, 08:11:49 PM »
I'm sorry that your recent combo isn't working out for you  :-[

and I hope that you can somehow get a handle on it  :(

that really makes you loose hope, I know I've been there before ......

Not trying to be judgemental, but you mentioined living in FL, that State treats Gay Men & People w/ AIDS like SHIT, maybe you should move away from FL.

I wish you all the best, hang-in-there  ;)

HUGS

Dennis in ABQ
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,382
  • 29 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: New Doc- new/different state of being...?
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2012, 07:02:47 AM »
Hey Dave,

Welcome aboard, glad you're here.

I know what you mean about doctors who give off the "the end is nie" vibe.

I never had one, but I knew some.

That said, I understand your dilemma.

I, too, had the same feelings for years, fighting to stay upbeat, while seeing death all around you. It is hard to break that mindset.

I found that being involved really helps. You don't mention how connected you are in the community. Now would be a good time to try expanding your horizons, so to speak.

It could be a social group, faith community, just about anything you are interested in. But getting involved helps you stay more grounded and to focus on things other than your problems.

It won't make the problems go away, but it does help to take away some of their fierceness

It might be something to consider.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,360
Re: New Doc- new/different state of being...?
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2012, 06:11:46 AM »
Sorry for missing the post, but welcome to our exclusive little group.  Take care and best wishes.

Wolfie
productivity breeds content

Offline Theyer

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,470
  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: New Doc- new/different state of being...?
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2012, 06:21:10 AM »
Welcome Dave. Yes the end is nie thing is something I recognise from my own history , it led to some disastrous financial decisions and some great what shall I do decisions. Off course if I had known in the 90,s that I would be doddering around still I would off.......but I try not to go down that road the info I had at the time was the info I had ditto the the level off sanity.

Are your lab results showing that your present combo is failing? I ask this because although my health is plagued by aches pains fatigue and bugs the lab results are OK I am living with the effects off surviving all the illnesses and the damage the drugs have done. However as I am still alive I judge myself,most days, lucky.

I do get angry when overs judge past decisions by today's standards.
That's enough rambling from me, look forward to hearing more from you
take care
michael
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

 


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