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Author Topic: My dad has had AIDS for 17 yrs  (Read 2764 times)

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Offline daddysgirl87

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
My dad has had AIDS for 17 yrs
« on: June 27, 2012, 01:20:03 PM »
hello everyone, im 25 and my dad was diagnosed with AIDS about 14 yrs ago. by the time he went to the doctor to figure out what was wrong it was already full blown (they estimated that he had it for atleast 3yrs before he was diagnosed but i guess its hard to say?). He passed out in the yard one day and the doctors told us there was little hope for him but here we are more than 10 years later and he is still with us. Hes fairly active and takes his meds regularly but i have noticed a change lately... this is starting to take a toll on his body and mind. He had to be put on anti-depressents and start seeing a psycyotrist once a week. Im afraid there is signs of dimentia starting but he wont share too many details with anyone. He is in and out of the hospital kind of a lot but then seems fine for weeks. I guess im looking for some positivity or something... anyone have any words of encouragment?

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,334
Re: My dad has had AIDS for 17 yrs
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2012, 01:34:28 PM »
Hi DG87,

First off, sorry you're here, but glad you found us.

Since you are looking for positivity, I will offer this...

Your daddy is one lucky man to have you loving him and looking out for him.

The fact that he has access to medical care, for both his body and mind, is a very good thing.  That means there are others looking out for him, too.

You mention he's not sharing details with you and that obviously concerns you.

Have you ever asked him if you could go a doctor visit with him? If not, perhaps by explaining that you care and that you are curious, he might say yes OR give you more information himself by keeping that doctor/patient involvement separate from family. Either way, you might get a bit more information from him.

Are you taking good care of yourself? Is there any chance a counselor might be helpful for you? It is stressful to love and look out for someone who's not healthy in a variety of ways.

The best way it was explained to me is just like on an airplane, when they say in case of emergency to put the oxygen mask on yourself before attending to others, do similarly regarding your dad. Take good care of you, so that you are fully present and healthy to be helpful to him.

Everyone, HIV positive or negative, would hope to have a family member like you caring about their health and well-being.

Em

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • Posts: 23,883
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: My dad has had AIDS for 17 yrs
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2012, 01:34:52 PM »
Going onto anti-depressants and seeing a psychologist isn't indicative of any cognitive decline, it's probably just run of the mill depression. As far as going in and out of the hospital I have to assume he's not telling you why? It's impossible for anyone here to comment on that.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline drewm

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  • Posts: 1,036
  • Mmmmmm Hmmmmmm!
Re: My dad has had AIDS for 17 yrs
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2012, 01:42:15 PM »
Hi daddysgirl...

I was diagnosed two years ago. Our stories are a little similar. I passed out in the front yard and went to Prompt Care. I passed out there also and was sent to emergency room where I was diagnosed with pneumonia. I was tested and three days later found out I had full blown AIDS. CD4 count was 8 VL was 500,000.

I have been on meds two years now and am undetectable and my CD-4 count is in the 280-330 range. I am on Prozac for depression/anxiety. So far, so good I guess. Staying healthy is important. What I am reading from your post is that your dad is active, is on his meds, his seeing a psychiatrist and is being treated. Seeing the doctors on a regular basis is always a good thing IMHO!
MAY 2010
VL>500,000 CD4>8

JUNE 2010 STARTED ATRIPLA

DEC 2010
VL>30 CD4>323

Atripla. Valtrex, Trilipix, Fluoxotine

Offline daddysgirl87

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: My dad has had AIDS for 17 yrs
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2012, 03:09:56 PM »
Well thanks you all very much for your words. I do go with to the doctor visits most of the time but when the doctor comes in my dad asks me to step out so i respect his privacy but i will definatly ask him to share more because i am very concerned. The good side of it all is that hes is somewhat of a drug tester so to speak he is one of the people who will try the latest medicines but the down fall is he is becoming resistant to most of his meds. I really appriciate the replies and will keep posting now that i know there are people out there that understand. I have a 4 yr old daughter and they say that him seeing her is almost like a therapy in its own right. he really lights up when he can spend time with her and i love that i can do that for him. What i mean about the signs of demtia is i have noticed a lot of repitition in our conversations and he has become very very forgetful at times basically just seems a bit out of it i dont know if that means anything or if its me worrying too much... any advice is appriciated and just hearing others positive turn arounds makes me feel better  :D

Offline daddysgirl87

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: My dad has had AIDS for 17 yrs
« Reply #5 on: August 20, 2012, 09:31:02 AM »
Hey everyone i just wanted to give an update.... sadly my dad has passed away  :'( . he would have been 50 sept. 1st unfortunatley he just didnt make it. I believe something more was going on then he told us about because he took his own life july 26th. I hope he has found peace and i miss him more than i can express in words. He was found underneath a virgin mary statue by the local church he overdosed on xanex viks and norcos. My dad was my best friend and i dont know y he did this but my world is forever changed and feels empty without him in it. my heart is broken and i dont know what to do now. i feel numb and distant from the world...

Offline drewm

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  • Posts: 1,036
  • Mmmmmm Hmmmmmm!
Re: My dad has had AIDS for 17 yrs
« Reply #6 on: August 20, 2012, 09:49:02 AM »
Very sorry for your loss...
MAY 2010
VL>500,000 CD4>8

JUNE 2010 STARTED ATRIPLA

DEC 2010
VL>30 CD4>323

Atripla. Valtrex, Trilipix, Fluoxotine

Offline Buckmark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,520
  • Would you like to tie me up with your ties, Ty?
    • Henry's Home Page
Re: My dad has had AIDS for 17 yrs
« Reply #7 on: August 20, 2012, 10:53:43 AM »
Words can't express the sorrow I am sure you must be feeling.  When a loved one takes their own life, it leaves behind so many unanswered questions.  If you don't have anyone you can talk to about this, you may want to see if there is a support group in your area for survivors of suicide. 

AFSP http://www.afsp.org/ is a great organization, and has a good list of support groups.  If or when you need them.

One of the most difficult things about suicide is that so often no one wants to talk about it, and it can really help to be with people who have been there, and understand.

Hugs,

Henry
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline ImisstheOldTimes

  • Member
  • Posts: 65
Re: My dad has had AIDS for 17 yrs
« Reply #8 on: August 20, 2012, 10:56:11 AM »
I'm sorry for your loss too. My father didn't commit suicide, but he passed away at the end of March. I'd like to say things get easier, it will never be the same, but we continue holding them in our hearts and remembering good times. It's funny, I became a member here in early March and I come back often usually as a guest and just read several posts. I don't know why... Occasionally I will feel the need to respond to someone, so I'll log in :) take care of yourself and your kiddo.  :)
Life is a BANQUET, and most poor suckers are starving to death!

                             ~Auntie Mame

Offline 0608

  • Member
  • Posts: 67
Re: My dad has had AIDS for 17 yrs
« Reply #9 on: August 21, 2012, 02:23:00 AM »
I don't know except to say that I'm sorry for your father's passing.  Personally, I believe in heaven, and I think your father's there now looking down at you and knowing how much you loved and still love him.  Stay strong.

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,334
Re: My dad has had AIDS for 17 yrs
« Reply #10 on: August 22, 2012, 04:27:10 AM »
Hello DG,

I am so sorry to learn of your incredible loss.

The advice Henry gave, to seek support to understand suicide, is to be followed.

In 2008, I lost a family member to suicide and the support group I attended was so helpful. A lot of research has been done on the topic and I found it helped me to understand its facets. And, it was important to hear other people share their stories, their losses, shock, grief and wondering whether they could have done anything to change the outcome.

I'm glad you have your daughter and memories of sharing her and a close relationship with your father.

Big hug to you.
Em

 


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