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Author Topic: Scared for oral  (Read 2468 times)

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Offline YoungandConcerned

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Scared for oral
« on: July 18, 2012, 09:03:47 PM »
Okay, so I've been advised by other post I'm ok and even a HIV expert that said "the chances of you having HIV, you would have a better chance of being struck by a meteor while writing your question" but I just have a question I want to ask for other opinions. My risk was that on June 7th, my friend and I, we are male, white and 17 year old heterosexuals from a city with only 2000 positive people out of 500,000 people, experimented. We never had any other male partners ever and other then me, I know for a fact that my other partner had, had no other sexual partners other then a 17 year old girl in which he had protected sex with.

Stupidly, we were fooling around and I attempted brief, insertive unprotected anal sex with him. He didn't like it and yelled at me to stop from pain and it lasted less then 5 seconds and I couldn't of gone more then an inch in, probably less. We've done this many times before where we attempted it but it never worked as I never  made it in more then an inch. This exposure has me concerned specifically. I was never concerned before because he was a virgin and never did anything with a girl before, he didn't do drugs and he obviously wasn't born with HIV being he is 17 and obviously not on meds. I'm concerned now because of my symptoms and the fact that this was the second time we experimented since he had protected, heterosexual sex, I know he no longer is a virgin. I just hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

I'm concerned now because 10days, (June 17th) after exposure I started getting penile and testicular pains.

June 20th, slight, slight sore throat with post nasal drip. Noticed swollen lymph node directly under chin above adams apple, never had a swollen node there before/never recognized it.

The same week I experienced slight muscle aches, loss of weight and loose bowels but not diarrhea probably form stress as I am a hypochondriac, I get it from my mother.

It's now July 18th, the sore throat is reoccurring but it seems to be my allergies especially because there was a major storm today, along with it being 103 degrees out and I started feeling like I had a sore throat and had a stuffy nose while sitting in my hot room still with the swollen lymph node. The loose bowels is still here.

The swollen node seems to get very small, and then shoots up when my allergies bother me/I don't feel good and it seems to be a little bigger in the morning then goes down.

At no point did I have a fever, rash, generalized lymph nodes swellings (just the neck and I thought the groin) severe sore throat and severe aches and pains.

I have no other swollen nodes. I explained my situation to my mom. She understands, she says experimenting is life and she isn't mad and she said she isn't the least bit concerned about HIV because my friend I mentioned, who is my neighbor, she knows it's HIGHLY unlikely in the first place he has HIV and that after explaining his sexual experiences she said "he doesn't have it, it's not possible from what he did, he used a condom, relax"

I am very, very skinny and I thought I felt nodes in my groin but apparently with my weight, and many other people, palpable nodes are common in the groin and they are not raised through the skin so they're probably not swollen. My mom checked my arm pits and she said nothing is swollen and trust me she knows what she is looking for, she has been through breast cancer scares, lymphoma scares you name it.

Based on my story, what do you think my chances of having HIV are? I'm very scared and young.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Scared please help
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2012, 09:08:57 PM »
If you had unprotected penetrative anal sex and the only way to know your status is by testing.

Offline YoungandConcerned

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Re: Scared please help
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2012, 09:17:55 PM »
I understand that, I've heard that am million times haha. I'm just wondering if my mother and the HIV expert is right by saying I shouldn't have a concern from this and that I don't have HIV from this due to the circumstances.

Offline YoungandConcerned

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Re: Scared please help
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2012, 09:31:27 PM »
And do these symptoms look like ARS symptoms?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Scared please help
« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2012, 09:42:34 PM »
Tell them to put their crystal ball and cards away and get tested.

Offline YoungandConcerned

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Re: Scared please help
« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2012, 11:26:24 PM »
I understand that but RapidRod you're missing what I'm saying. I clearly understand testing is the only way to know, but after countless confirmative messages from him, and actually resulting in me losing him as a friend because I kept annoying about this all, he repeatedly tells me nothing happened to the condom when he had sex with the girl. And he has only had sex with the girl.

I'm asking, from those circumstances, which you in any way expect my results to be positive. I'm sorry, I just needed clarification and I look up to you all being so young at 17.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Scared please help
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2012, 11:41:51 PM »
 You are missing the point. Symptoms or lack of will never tell you anything about your status. You never take anyones word about their status. The only way to know your status is by testing. It's really simple.

Offline Ann

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Re: Scared please help
« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2012, 06:14:14 AM »
Young,

While you are highly unlikely to end up hiv positive over this very brief, shallow, insertive incident, you DO need to learn from it.

You simply CANNOT go by what someone tells you about their sexual history or their testing history or anything else they tell you, or how they look, what they do for a living, or where they live. You MUST use condoms.

You should also test. I don't expect you to test positive, but your hiv status is never anything to guess about.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline YoungandConcerned

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Scared for oral
« Reply #8 on: August 17, 2012, 07:16:50 PM »
I gave unprotected oral sex to a male. It lasted 1 maybe 2 minutes and it did involve a good amount of pre-cum. I did not swallow the pre-cum and he did not ejaculate in my mouth. I also avoided deep throating because, what concerns me is that at the time, I had a sore throat, a slight one, while giving him oral and I also bite the side of my cheeks from nerves but I didn't have any dental work or bleeding gums or ulcers, just a slight sore throat and cheek biting while giving oral sex.

About 5 days later, my sore throat came back and it came with some swollen nodes and 2 weeks later my sore throat is still here on and off and I feel like my nodes in my armpit are swollen possibly with joint pain in my jaw and swollen neck nodes as well.

Should I be concerned?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Scared for oral
« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2012, 09:25:43 PM »
■Please do not start a new thread every time you have another question or thought - regardless if you think your questions are related to each other or not. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Additional threads will be merged.

■If you cannot find your thread, click on the "Show own posts" link in the left-hand column of any forum page, under your name.


Offline Ann

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Re: Scared for oral
« Reply #10 on: August 18, 2012, 06:02:16 AM »
Young,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep everything in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.




Unless you've got absolutely terrible oral health (google meth-mouth) - not like what you describe - then you're worrying for no good reason.

There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

You do not need to test specifically over this brief blowjob.

Please re-read your entire thread.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline YoungandConcerned

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  • Posts: 11
Re: Scared for oral
« Reply #11 on: August 19, 2012, 11:23:07 PM »
Yes I understand it's almost no risk, but when there is still a risk involved with giving oral sex, do you think there is still a risk, with the already slight, small risk, without ejaculation into the mouth? I don't have bad oral health. I'm only 17 so I can't imagine my teeth being bad, I brush everyday, plus I was concerned about the slight sore throat with inflammation possibly and the biting of the side of my cheeks.

Thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Scared for oral
« Reply #12 on: August 19, 2012, 11:27:10 PM »
Yes I understand it's almost no risk, but when there is still a risk involved with giving oral sex, do you think there is still a risk, with the already slight, small risk, without ejaculation into the mouth? I don't have bad oral health. I'm only 17 so I can't imagine my teeth being bad, I brush everyday, plus I was concerned about the slight sore throat with inflammation possibly and the biting of the side of my cheeks.

Thanks
The answers are not going to change, no matter how many ways you ask the same question. Reread the replies you have been given.

Offline YoungandConcerned

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Re: Scared for oral
« Reply #13 on: August 19, 2012, 11:47:22 PM »
So no risk?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Scared for oral
« Reply #14 on: August 20, 2012, 07:59:12 AM »
The risk is strictly only theoretical. The only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Period.

Use condoms for those activities properly and consistently and you will be well protected against the virus.
Andy Velez

Offline YoungandConcerned

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Re: Scared for oral
« Reply #15 on: August 25, 2012, 03:27:00 PM »
One more question and I will be on my way. I understand that for infection to be likely there would have to be alot of virus in the viral load and open wounds that are deep enough such as teeth pulling or something that would require stitching when it comes to oral sex. I know everyone is different, but my partner who claims he is negative, and had sex with one other partner in mid April, if he was somehow infected because he lied about condom use, would his viral load be high almost 3 months later? If god forbid he was infected, he did not experience ARS. So he would be asymptomatic if he was infected god forbid if that matter towards viral load.

Offline YoungandConcerned

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Re: Scared for oral
« Reply #16 on: August 25, 2012, 03:31:20 PM »
I'm sorry, I ment the unprotected oral sex occurred a little more then 3 months after his "exposure".

I highly doubt he is negative. He is a teen, straight for the most part, and doesn't have sex with other men other then me. I have dipped him several times on accident unprotected which originally led me here but I tested negative 8 weeks after exposure so it makes me believe even more he is negative because he would have a sky high viral load I would imagine a month after his "exposure" when we began our sexual activities.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Scared for oral
« Reply #17 on: August 25, 2012, 03:48:30 PM »
There will not be a different answer no matter what spin you put on your situation.

Becoming sexually active is scary, especially in a small town and especially if that sexual activity ends up being of the same-sex variety.

It's easy to confuse guilt and shame with legitimate worry over real infection. What you have described in your posts is basically the same sexual stuff that a lot of 17 year olds do. And while your actual risk for HIV is QUITE low, your anxiety over it seems quite high. Alarmingly so, even.

I think a little perspective might be in order.


"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline YoungandConcerned

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Re: Scared for oral
« Reply #18 on: August 25, 2012, 11:24:33 PM »
I'm currently seeing a therapist to help calm my fears who is aware of my situation along with my mother and they aren't the slightest bit worried at all about my HIV status but they are for my mental health. I also just started anxiety medication.

But you all agree my risk is negligible/no risk then?

Offline Ann

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Re: Scared for oral
« Reply #19 on: August 26, 2012, 05:03:44 AM »
Young,

Why don't you read your entire thread again? My opinion hasn't changed and I doubt anyone else's has either.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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