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Author Topic: Condom broke with sex worker  (Read 7656 times)

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Offline Britboy

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Condom broke with sex worker
« on: June 21, 2012, 01:13:41 PM »
Hi

I'm putting this on here for some kind of advice and information. I have read through some threads on here with similar situations but wanted someone to give advice specific to me.

I've been married for 4 years and have 2 wonderful children and love them all to pieces. I'm currently going mad with worry about a stupid and selfish meeting with a sex worker 2 days ago, she was an expensive escort and it took place at her appartment. Basically my concern is that the girl was on top (vaginal) when she noticed that the condom had broken and she quickly stopped, I was unprotected for around 2 minutes tops. I asked her if she had been tested for HIV recently and she said she gets checked every 12 weeks and last got the all clear 4 weeks ago.

I'm really wotried I have contracted HIV and wondered what you guys though and what my next step should be.

HELP

Thanks
« Last Edit: June 21, 2012, 01:16:04 PM by Britboy »

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #1 on: June 21, 2012, 03:17:30 PM »
Theoretically you had a risk, but it was a low level one. Factor in these realities about HIV: It is significantly harder to transmit HIV from female to male than the other way around. This was a single and very brief exposure. Until the condom broke you were protected.

Putting all of that together I expect that when you get tested you will test negative. And further, I've never known of a single transmission to occur from a broken condom incident.

You can test initially at 6 weeks post incident. Assuming you test negative, which is what I expect will happen, that will point the way to a conclusive all clear when you test at 3 months.

I expect you to come out of this ok although at the same time I appreciate your level of concern about it.   
Andy Velez

Offline Britboy

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2012, 03:50:43 PM »
Hi Andy,

Thanks for the reply

I'm really going over the edge with worry and wife keeps asking what's wrong, if I told her it would ruin her and my whole family. I'm such a selfish idiot!!

I've read about PEP and I'm still in the 72hr window, should I think about utilising that option.

Thanks

Oh and you mention you've never heard of a broken condom incident lead to being tested positive, how many cases have you come across, 5, 10, 20, 50, 100 or over 100?

Sorry to be a pain
« Last Edit: June 21, 2012, 03:56:37 PM by Britboy »

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2012, 04:02:07 PM »
Hi Andy,

Thanks for the reply

I'm really going over the edge with worry and wife keeps asking what's wrong, if I told her it would ruin her and my whole family. I'm such a selfish idiot!!

I've read about PEP and I'm still in the 72hr window, should I think about utilising that option.

Thanks

Oh and you mention you've never heard of a broken condom incident lead to being tested positive, how many cases have you come across, 5, 10, 20, 50, 100 or over 100?

Sorry to be a pain

Broken condom incidents? I think this site sees maybe twenty per month. Multiply that by ten years or so.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Britboy

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2012, 04:05:48 PM »
And not one that lead to testing positive?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #5 on: June 21, 2012, 04:39:20 PM »
And not one that lead to testing positive?

I've been answering questions on this site for almost ten years.  Not a single broken condom has resulted in a male testing positive.

I honestly think that your risk was on the very low end of a very long scale. I understand if you want to test at three months just for peace of mind, but PEP? No, and especially not this late.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Britboy

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2012, 02:37:47 AM »
I just can't stop worrying about it, I haven't slept for 3 nights and haven't eaten. I just keep thinking that there's a first time for everything and that first time will be me.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2012, 02:49:36 AM »
I just can't stop worrying about it, I haven't slept for 3 nights and haven't eaten. I just keep thinking that there's a first time for everything and that first time will be me.

I am sorry we can't do much for that thinking. I would be shocked if and when a male finds himself positive on this site due to a condom break.

Given how difficult HIV is to transmit from a female to male during vaginal sex, coupled with the brevity of your incident, I would certainly NOT recommend PEP over this incident. If you choose to test at three months' past the incident, then that would be the most responsible thing to do.

But I absolutely do not see this as a high-risk scenario. If you are afraid of infection (by HIV or any other STD) then please wear a condom with your wife for three months, then test for everything. Along with HIV, syphilis also shares a three month testing window.

FYI, a male can get a urethral infection from washing aggressively, and during the period of that infection and treatment, is recommended to use condoms with any females with whom he is intimate to avoid infection.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Britboy

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2012, 06:32:40 AM »
Thank Jkinatl

I know I'm being paranoid its just my mind playing tricks on me, you always think the worst in bad situations.

So say if the risk scale is 1-100 (100 being high) where would my situation be on that scale then?

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #9 on: June 22, 2012, 06:45:03 AM »
Brit,

I was with an hiv negative man for a year and a half before I was diagnosed with hiv. During that time we never used condoms - yet he remained hiv negative. We used condoms after my diagnosis, but not before and he remained hiv negative for all the years we were together - just over eight in all. And by the way, we're in the IoM. He was uncut, just like you probably are.

As you can see, hiv IS significantly more difficult to transmit from a woman to a man, just like Andy told you.

Your risk? After a couple unprotected minutes following a condom break? I'd opt for the 1 on your scale.

I've also been replying to threads in this forum for over ten years (so have Andy and JK) and no, we've NEVER seen the insertive partner in vaginal intercourse end up positive following a condom break.

You aren't going to be the first. Test to make absolute certain, but trust me, it ain't gonna happen.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Britboy

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #10 on: June 22, 2012, 07:08:10 AM »
Thanks alot Ann,

I hope the weather is better in the IoM than it is in Manchester at the minute.

You're right I am uncut. Let me get this right, so what your're saying is that you were with your fella for 18 months actively having unprotected vaginal sex while unkown to you you were HIV positive and he remained negative.

Thanks

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #11 on: June 22, 2012, 07:41:49 AM »
Thanks alot Ann,

I hope the weather is better in the IoM than it is in Manchester at the minute.

You're right I am uncut. Let me get this right, so what your're saying is that you were with your fella for 18 months actively having unprotected vaginal sex while unkown to you you were HIV positive and he remained negative.

Thanks

It's absolutely pissing down. My cats are not impressed. Neither am I - a guy is supposed to come out today to clean out my (outside) oil filter on my heating system and he already told me "if it's raining, forget it". Wuss.

That's right. Together for eighteen months before I knew I had hiv, no condoms, plenty of sex. You know what the early days of a relationship are like; at it like bunnies.

And yes, he remained negative.

Hiv really is more difficult to transmit vaginally to a man. It's not impossible though, and chances are that if we had continued to not use condoms, he would have ended up poz sooner or later during those six and a half years following my diagnosis. Then again, he may not have, but that wasn't a chance we were willing to take.

By the way, a correctly used condom rarely breaks, so make sure you read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them correctly and with confidence.

There are two main causes of condom breakage, and one is not using enough lube.

The other - and more likely in the case of vaginal - is not making sure there is no air bubble in the tip. When putting a condom on, it's important that you pinch the tip between the finger and thumb of one hand while rolling it down with the other.

Once it's on, give it a firm stroke from tip to base while watching the tip. If there's air in there, you'll see it. If so, roll it back up and try again. If you're having vaginal with a woman who is on the dry side, you should also apply water-based lube once you're sure there is no air in the condom. You may not need it; I never did for vaginal.

Ann



edited for clarity and to add a detail or two about condoms
« Last Edit: June 22, 2012, 07:52:52 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Britboy

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #12 on: June 25, 2012, 07:32:45 AM »
Hey,

The thing is Ann the escort put the condom on so you'd expect her to do it correctly.

I'm still absolutely terrified that the worst will/has happen. I did go to the GUM clinic last week (the day after) and they took blood and urine samples and I'll get the results in 2 days time. From reading threads on this forum I'm aware that HIV testing won't be accurate until 6 weeks and for conclusive results after 3 months. I'm booked in at the GUM clinic on the 4th July, 18th July and finally on the 12th Sept for more tests.

I'm trying to stay positive and put it all to the back of my mind but to be honest I'm struggling. My wife keeps asking whjats wrong and keeps joking I've got depression. I was in church on Sunday morning constantly praying to god that all this mess will turn out ok.

ARRGGGHH I just want to fast forward 3 months and fingers crossed get the all clear.

Thanks

Brit

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2012, 08:01:24 AM »
Brit,

The day after isn't going to pick up a single thing that you may have gotten from the sex worker. The earliest you should test for hiv is at six weeks. The earliest you should test for other STIs (much more common and easily transmitted infections like chlamydia and gonorrhea) is ten days to two weeks following a possible exposure.

You should only bother testing for the other STIs when you go on July 4th. I would also recommend changing your appointment on the 18th to August 1st, as that will be six weeks after and you can then test for hiv.

Your hiv test in September will be conclusive - and I fully expect it to be conclusively negative. By the way, syphilis shares a three month testing window with hiv, so you may as well have them also test for syphilis in September.

Testing four weeks after (July 18th) is only going to make you question the result and you'll want to test again within a week or two. Trust me, I see that happen all the time here. Someone tests at four weeks and it does nothing to ease their minds. Maybe for a day or so, sure, but that's it. Don't do that to yourself.

Despite your anxiety, I fully expect you to test hiv negative following this one-off, brief incident.

Saying that, all the praying in the world won't change the science of hiv transmission and testing. If you must pray, pray that people who don't have access to affordable hiv meds (people, unlike you, are actually hiv positive) can get that access and soon.

Ann

PS - in future, put the condom on yourself. Even sex workers can make mistakes with condoms. If you do it yourself and check it before proceeding, then you'll know for sure it's on correctly with no trapped air.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2012, 08:03:42 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Britboy

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #14 on: July 11, 2012, 10:48:43 AM »
Hi All,

Today I got my STD results back everthing was negative which is good but I do seem to be having some symptoms of seroconversion for the past 10 days. I know that all the advice given says symptoms mean nothing and they are non specific but I still worry about them. I've had a sore throat, headaches, muscle and joint pain around my neck area and my glands on my neck have been feeling pretty tender.

Ann, I understand what you're saying about the tesing dates but UK guidlines from BASHH (yes I remembder you do live in the IoM) say testing should be done at 4 weeks and then 12 weeks. That said I will push for a test to be done at the 6 weeks period also as per your advice to help ease my mind coz I'm still freaked out by all this.

Also people always ask for stats and odd on risk exposure and you guys say you don't give advice on the basis but again the BASHH come up with some odds/stats which seem to estimate my risk a 1/400000 if i'm reading the table correctly. Here is a link to the information:-

http://www.bashh.org/guidelines/

Look at the HIV UK National Guideline for the use of post-exposure prophylaxis for HIV following sexual exposure  2011 link for risk

and

BASHH Statement on HIV window period 15 MARCH 2010 for the testing period.

Obvoiusly all this info must be from a reputable scoure with it coming from the BASHH. Reading it does seem to calm me down a little, that said though I understand that I only takes one exposure to become infected but I could get run over by a bus when I walk out of the office tonight also.

I haven't discussed my situation with anyone and I think thats part of the problem with the stress and worry that it is causing me, I've been getting all sort of horrible thoughts running through my head that I cannot seem to get rid of. The reason I'm posting on this forum is for some kind of release and I really appreciate the response I've had from Andy, JK and Ann. I realy do hope I come out of this ok, I have lean't an awful lot about myself the last 3 weeks good and bad.

Cheers

Brit





Online Andy Velez

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #15 on: July 11, 2012, 12:17:58 PM »
Do yourself a big favor and just settle down and wait for your test. Bouncing around different sources just feeds your fears to no good purpose.

I continue to expect you to test negative.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #16 on: July 12, 2012, 06:19:57 AM »
Brit,

We recommend that the earliest people should test is at six week because not everyone gets tested with a fourth generation test (which includes p24 testing). Testing at four weeks is only recommended when the person knows for sure they are being tested with a fourth generation test.

Whether you test at four weeks or six weeks, you still have to confirm a negative result at three months. There are no short-cuts to hiv testing.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Britboy

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #17 on: July 18, 2012, 06:42:16 AM »
Hi All,

This last week I have still been going mad with worry and been trying to take the advice of not googling for information (not doing very well to be honest).

Yesterday (28 days post exposure) I decided I couldn't wait to get tested at the GUM clinic (which I did this morning) and have to wait a week for the results so I booked in at a private clinic for a 4th Generation Duo test. I got the results back last night and it said not detected (negative). I asked about the accuracy of the test and was told it was 99.98% accurate and that's what most sources I can find on the internet say as well apart from one or two NHS linked sites that are more conservative at 95% accurate. Its amazing how my anxiety just disappeared instantly. This morning I went to the GUM clinic to get another 4th Gen Duo test done along with Hep B & C and syphilis and will get the results back in 7 days.

I know I need to test again at 3 months to be 100% sure but now I feel tons better. I just wanted to ask in your experience how do you rate the 4th Gen Duo tests at 28 days and how accurate do you believe them to be?

Cheers

Brit



Online Andy Velez

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Re: Condom broke with sex worker
« Reply #18 on: July 18, 2012, 06:50:41 AM »
You just continue to feed your fears with this running around and testing.

Yes, we expect you to continue to test negative. Now you really need to focus on other matters in your life in order to spend the rest of the waiting time more easily. And don't bother saying you're too worried to do that because that response won't fly here. Just do it.

It's your guilt that's really driving this. You did what you did and now it's a part of your history. As far as HIV is concerned I expect you will come out of this ok. Now, get on with your day. Really.

We are not going to indulge you in an ongoing back and forth about this.
Andy Velez

 


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