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Author Topic: When i was still a HIV- man...  (Read 3424 times)

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Offline o

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
When i was still a HIV- man...
« on: September 30, 2006, 06:41:21 PM »
A question which came up to my mind...

When i was HIV-, would i have accepted a HIV+ bf?

i think i have some sort of an answer, but yeah before speaking it loud, wanted to get some feedback from u guys.
and why is this somehow important to me?
than i would understand the other parties' thoughts and reactions better... and sympathise if the person doesn't want a relationship.

greets
o

Offline Lis

  • Member
  • Posts: 593
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2006, 07:55:12 PM »
Dear O

If you are talking about a one night stand, then i would still not trust if a person was negative... i would try and use safe sex..

If you want a real RELATIONSHIP then your partner must accept who you are!!! They must take steps to protect themselves from the virus... but they are not afraid to love you and to be loved by you!

but to answer your question.... i think i would have accepted an HIV+ BF...

lisbeth
poz 1986....

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,193
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2006, 08:17:24 PM »
I did have a BF with AIDS. One of the greatest guys there is. Eventhough we aren't together, we've remained good friends.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #3 on: September 30, 2006, 08:50:34 PM »
O, what kinds of experiences have you had so far about this?
Andy Velez

Offline Blixer

  • Member
  • Posts: 712
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #4 on: September 30, 2006, 09:02:35 PM »
I dated two guys that were HIV+ when I was still HIV-.  I do not believe that I was infected by either of those.  I believe I was infected by a one night stand when passion overshadowed wisdom.  One of the guys was a real sweetheart but I do remember the HIV issue always being in the front of my mind.  I will say that knowing he was HIV+ made us both always aware of safer sex.  It ended because of issues other than the HIV.  Saver sex was not necessarily always the case in my history with those I didn't know for sure or those that told me they were neg.  The second guy was just plain scary and that only went for one date.  I always tried to be open minded about it and so I'm hoping that I'll find individuals who take the same attitude.  I believe that if you know someone as a person and you are attracted to them as a person, then the HIV status can become much less of an issue.
« Last Edit: September 30, 2006, 09:04:12 PM by Blixer »
David
Diagnosed 1/9/06
8/27/2007 CD4 598, 29%, VL 58 (72 wks)
11/19/2007 CD4 609, 30%, VL < 50 (84 wks)
2/11/2008 CD4 439, 27%, VL <50 (96 wks)
5/5/2008 CD4 535, 28%, VL <50 (108 wks)
10/20/2008 CD4 680, 28%, VL <50 (132 wks)
Changed to Atripla in 2012
1/14/2013 CD4 855, 35%, VL <40

Offline Terry

  • Member
  • Posts: 339
  • 7/13/82 Infected
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #5 on: September 30, 2006, 09:18:46 PM »
When I was HIV- and single, No one heard or knew anything about HIV. I gave up being intimate with anyone in order to avoid this so-called “Black plague” that was running rampart in the gay community. (As well as in the black, prostitute and drug user communities.)

Would I date a positive person or a negative? Whether they’re positive or negative wouldn’t matter to me. What would matter, is, do I want to be or have the desire to be with that person.

My answer to that question would also depend on who the person is and the love in my heart at the time for that person. If you have found someone +or- that you desire/want, allow your soul to tell your heart what you should do.

First be happy for whom you are within your own skin so that you can freely love another person for what's under/inside/beneath theirs.

PS. Oh, does he have a job or a bank account??? Is he a doctor? Has he been mentioned on Americans most wanted? Just some things to think about. lol.

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #6 on: September 30, 2006, 09:32:46 PM »
Not that it ever presented itself, but I have to say I wouldn't have. I've always been afraid I am unlucky enough to get it! Guess what, I was right
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline Iggy

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  • Posts: 2,435
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #7 on: September 30, 2006, 09:53:11 PM »
.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2007, 08:44:58 PM by Iggy »

Offline Strayboy74

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,054
  • tastes like chicken
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #8 on: September 30, 2006, 11:38:11 PM »
I was serosorting before I became HIV+.   I never would have sex with someone who was positive.  Now I've polarized to the reciprocate.  I never date or have sex with those who are negative.  Funny how we discriminate even witin our own community.

hrm.

I guess that makes me an asshole.  I shall put an A on my shirt now, but will be certain to put a "+" sign immediately after it... cause I'm an overachiever... and if I'm gonna be an asshole... believe me, I'll be the best there is. :)

-joseph

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,962
  • HIV+ since 1993. INTJ
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #9 on: October 01, 2006, 12:27:45 AM »
I had sex with someone who I knew was HIV+ when I was HIV- and I remember he was more uncomfortable during sex than I was. I probably would have dated someone who was HIV+ but I don't know for sure. It definitely would have been a concern and my reaction would have depended on their general health and how well they were dealing with it psychologically. I don't think it would have been an immediate dealbreaker.

Offline carousel

  • Member
  • Posts: 821
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #10 on: October 01, 2006, 12:33:19 AM »
.
« Last Edit: February 15, 2007, 12:39:51 PM by carousel »

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #11 on: October 01, 2006, 01:40:29 AM »
hmm, rewind to age 27 and me HIV-neg .... hmmm, poz would have been a deal-breaker for me but just in terms of LTR ...  i would've probably been okay with FB or friendship. at that age, i was notorious for making choices without rhyme, without reason, and often without an ounce of sense. how's this for crazy?: denialism, anonymous "whenever, who cares" barebacking, yet turning down "poz prince charming" because he's poz? yup, i was a complete self-hating MORON :'( gosh the new me is so different
« Last Edit: October 01, 2006, 01:43:00 AM by allopathicholistic »

Offline o

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #12 on: October 01, 2006, 08:19:09 AM »
The reactions are incredible :-) thank you. at least know i know the answers are so varied, i think all the feelings about it are human and normal.
so i am and we are normal :-)
oh God, today is a happy day for many reasons, but yeah let me go on.

And for the record, i live in the Netherlands, so no guy at Americas top wanted for me Terry... :-)

And as some of you already knows, i had a bf who was neg... i was diagnosed during my relationship, and now after 1,5 years after that, the relationship ended for other reasons. SO Andy, that's my story of mine with men being -.

i remember that there was a guy who was +, and he was 45, and he was very cute. it was a chat friend. i didn't want to meet him somehow. and i felt so much pity for the + and thought i was so scared to get infected, so when most afraid, things come and found me.
Funny enough, i am not afraid of infecting a guy. I did my best with my ex. Didn't even let him do me a blowjob without a condom. That was a torture for him perhaps but yeah one has to protect the beloveds...

Nowadays, i am meeting a guy from another city. dint have to tell how cute, sweet and loving he is... i will tell my status when i think is the right time. and that time for me will come intuitively. and i wont hesitate too much i think. because i am not a guy afraid of life i suppose.
what do i have to loose?

and if he wont like it, and wont accept it, i will sympathise and go on. and will try to become normal friends at least as we really have incredibly nice time even there has been no sex at all...

it is all about happiness. it somehow doesn't matter how long i will live. till that day, i will try. with a guy who is + or - or alone. :-)
yeah.

for today, 

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,160
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #13 on: October 01, 2006, 08:06:34 PM »
I never would have sex with someone who was positive.

But ya did Blanche, ya did! ;)

When I was HIV negative I had no problem shtupping pozzies.

MtD

Offline RevMC

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  • It's me!
    • Psychic AwakeningSchool.com
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #14 on: October 01, 2006, 08:17:24 PM »
Though I was around 18 when I actually heard about "The gay plague" I guess I never thought anything of it.  I remember in R.I. and saw one of our friends (I always hung out with people at least 5 years older than me) who was sitting by himself in the local after work hangout in Providence.  I asked another friend why no one was talking to him or hanging out with him, I was told it was because he had the gay plague.

I walked up to our friend and he asked me why was I  near him that he had the gay plague.  I told him that I didn't care at all about it, I wasn't planning on having sex with him, I just wanted a hug and conversation.  He started crying.

So to answer the question, I guess it would have all depended on who he was.  If we had a connection (in more ways than one) I'd have dated someone.  Hell I wasn't afraid to hug someone who was poz while everyone else at that time was.
Part of my story: "Sale Of A Lifetime" POZ December 2003
http://www.poz.com/articles/172_752.shtml

Started on Truvada and Viramune on 2/15/07

Jan 8, 2007   t-cells 215  Viral Load 10,000  24%
March 26'th  T-cells 306   Viral Load  UNDETECTABLE
June 2007 t-cells 375 Viral Load UNDETECTABLE
August 2007 t-cells 290 Viral Load UNDETECTABLE



Love and Light and Reiki sent your way,
Rev. Michae

Offline Strayboy74

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  • Posts: 1,054
  • tastes like chicken
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #15 on: October 01, 2006, 09:44:39 PM »

When I was HIV negative I had no problem shtupping pozzies.

MtD

Well, that'll learn ya.

-joseph
« Last Edit: October 01, 2006, 09:51:44 PM by Strayboy74 »

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #16 on: October 01, 2006, 09:56:36 PM »
Well, that'll learn ya.

-joseph


True, but when I shtupped bois I knew to have the Plague we used condoms. It's the other ones who got me. ;)

MtD

Offline Strayboy74

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  • tastes like chicken
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #17 on: October 01, 2006, 10:16:57 PM »
It's the other ones who got me. ;)

MtD


I've always loved the conspiracy approach to acceptance, myself. :)  LOL


Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,160
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #18 on: October 01, 2006, 10:32:04 PM »
They're all out to get me dear. I'm THAT important. ;D

MtD

Offline Strayboy74

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  • tastes like chicken
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #19 on: October 01, 2006, 10:34:37 PM »
They're all out to get me dear. I'm THAT important. ;D

MtD

You sound fun, come to America, and visit me. 

-joseph

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,160
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #20 on: October 01, 2006, 11:39:13 PM »
You sound fun, come to America, and visit me.

-joseph


You're on the list, doll. ;D

MtD

Offline RevMC

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    • Psychic AwakeningSchool.com
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #21 on: October 01, 2006, 11:48:20 PM »
They're all out to get me dear. I'm THAT important.

MtD


You sound fun, come to America, and visit me. 

-joseph


Why don't you BOTH come to see me in Florida.  We'll have one hell of a good time!
Part of my story: "Sale Of A Lifetime" POZ December 2003
http://www.poz.com/articles/172_752.shtml

Started on Truvada and Viramune on 2/15/07

Jan 8, 2007   t-cells 215  Viral Load 10,000  24%
March 26'th  T-cells 306   Viral Load  UNDETECTABLE
June 2007 t-cells 375 Viral Load UNDETECTABLE
August 2007 t-cells 290 Viral Load UNDETECTABLE



Love and Light and Reiki sent your way,
Rev. Michae

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,160
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #22 on: October 02, 2006, 12:14:43 AM »
Hmmmm. Fags in Florida? Who would have thought it?

;D

MtD

Offline Sky

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    • Myspace
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #23 on: October 02, 2006, 12:19:29 AM »
lol yes there are quite a few of us in Florida  :D
Poz since 2003.

Offline Life

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  • Member 2005
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #24 on: October 02, 2006, 12:22:51 AM »
for real? ;)

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #25 on: October 02, 2006, 12:27:26 AM »
You even put 'em in Congress, I hear . . .   :o

MtD

Offline RevMC

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  • It's me!
    • Psychic AwakeningSchool.com
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #26 on: October 02, 2006, 12:29:29 AM »
Yes, there are many  of us down here.  We definitely know how to make things HOT year round!
Part of my story: "Sale Of A Lifetime" POZ December 2003
http://www.poz.com/articles/172_752.shtml

Started on Truvada and Viramune on 2/15/07

Jan 8, 2007   t-cells 215  Viral Load 10,000  24%
March 26'th  T-cells 306   Viral Load  UNDETECTABLE
June 2007 t-cells 375 Viral Load UNDETECTABLE
August 2007 t-cells 290 Viral Load UNDETECTABLE



Love and Light and Reiki sent your way,
Rev. Michae

Offline almalibre

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  • Hello, hello sailor!! Love the rumba...!!
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #27 on: October 02, 2006, 03:05:11 AM »

 Hola..
 
   When I was negative I had a poz boyfriend, he told me and we took care of it. Then I met the men who  I thought was always good to me and fool around without no protection(he didn't believe on that , stupid of me believed on him), there we go the consequences.  Well my actual boyfriend is negative and one of my best friends is negative and even if he is not completely convinced of a serodiscordants couples he is in love, his boyfriend is poz .  I guess everything goes good when you take care of it, honesty and communication pays good.
Love to all ...***

Offline Strayboy74

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  • tastes like chicken
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #28 on: October 02, 2006, 11:35:36 AM »
Why don't you BOTH come to see me in Florida.  We'll have one hell of a good time!

Land O Lakes, eh?  isn't that where butter comes from? :)

You have to have some pretty damn good margaritas, to get me to Florida. :)

How far from Disneyworld??

-joseph

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #29 on: October 02, 2006, 11:42:29 AM »
My beloved Blog Sister Bucko the Depraved, late of these forums, resides in Florida. I've often wanted to visit. Buckles tells me FL is ghastly. Oppressively hot, run by Jeb Bush and full of southerners.

MtD

Offline Strayboy74

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  • tastes like chicken
Re: When i was still a HIV- man...
« Reply #30 on: October 02, 2006, 12:01:42 PM »
southerners.
MtD

Bat-shit crazy, they are! :)  Let's go!! :)

 


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