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just got the call

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Hi forum.

I posted in the "Am I Infected" forum several weks ago, after having a mystery illness that looked a lot like ARS.
My Dr. just called me to tell me I am hiv positive.
I had a month to think about this, sort of reconcile with myself. I am not surprised; I am sure i will be getting depressed about it soon enough. Posting the info here was my planned 'first thing to do'; cuz I know i will need all the moral support i can drum up. He said my CD4 count was 514, and my viral load was 29K. He said these were not bad numbers for someone who just went through ARS.
Any hellos or feedback appreciated.
Take care

Hi CHM, I am sorry you tested positive for HIV.  I was in your position 6 yrs ago and I can tell you that things are going to be okay.  You will need to find the inner strength to remind yourself that you are only human and that there is no value in beating yourself up over this.  There will be good days and challenging days but you can know that there are lots of people who have been through just about anything you might encounter and that helps.  I might also say that while you might be an emotional wreck right now you might want to really consider carefully who you share information with.  Not all reactions will be one of compassion,  but at least people in society are a lot more accepting of this disease today than ever before.   
Best Wishes,


Andy Velez:
Hi CH,

I'm glad you found your way here. Sorry to hear about your news.

Just know that it's going to take some time for you to get adjusted to this. From what you have written it seems you were already expecting this but of course actually being told is still a wham when you get it.

Please read the lessons about testing positive, meds and disclosure issues, among others on this site which may be helpful to you.

For now it's important to have a doctor who's going to monitor your numbers and with whom you can form a good working partnership.

Remember you are always welcome here to ask questions or to discuss anything that's on your mind.

Hang in there. HIV is a big thing but it is not all that your life is or will be about, no matter how large it may loom at this moment.


Hello CHM,

Welcome ! I am sorry you tested positive, But Like the others, I am glad that you found your way here. I think you will find a great support base here, and without a doubt a lot of knowledge, that will help you begin this journey of living with HIV.

I was diagnosed positive back in 1985, I remember the first year being quite rough, but with good friends, an excellent partner, and a loving family , I managed to pick myself up, get myself together and decided to get moving on, and living and enjoying life.

I know you may not feel that way right now, But in time, and understanding that this is not the "end of the world", you will manage to survive.No one will tell you that things will be easy, but you will be able to travel this journey, if you keep yourself level headed, and keep yourself focused, and keep yourself realistic, and above all hopefull !!

Your numbers are still very good, you may not need to begin medication anytime soon. Read up on the lessons, education is the key, to living with this virus.Ask questions, when you have them... Don't hesitate to do this. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor questions!! He isthere for you. Don't expect to learn everything in a week !! I 've been living with this virus for 21 years, and there is still so much that I don't always understand. Take a little at a time. And yes, things will be OK...

Take care of yourself-------Ray

Thanks for your replies Ray, Andy, Kent.  I went out last night and got rip-roaring drunk. Probably not the most creative way to handle it, but I really wanted to blot it all out for a while. I need to quit smoking.  Maybe this news is just what i need to get a handle on some of my more self-destructive behaviors. Maybe not. Who knows.


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