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Author Topic: oral sex between poz-neg?  (Read 7421 times)

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Offline Scaredsunny

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oral sex between poz-neg?
« on: May 24, 2012, 06:08:15 PM »
25 days ago,I was intimit with a woman of unknown HIV status. We did two risky things..
1. She gave unprotected oral for 30 seconds ( there were no cuts and sores on my penis/ i don't know about her mouth)
2. I foolishly licked my finger after fingering her vagina for 10 seconds.( No cuts in or sores in my mouth but doctor told me last week that I should see dentist as he saw minor cavities in my teeth)
  Also, we kissed for some time and she did not flinched or behaved like her mouth was hurting or bleeding, and she was constantly talking.

after that (an hour later) I started feeling dizzy, mild headache, nausea.
Next day, doctor told me it could me stomach flu. but REALLY???? with no diarrhea or vomiting....I recovered from this sickness in 3 weeks. I don't know what it was. I am still feeling low, maybe anxiety cos whenever I think about that incident I feel disgusted and dizzy.
Also I had HIV test after 1 week , which was negative (i found out later that it was too early)
then after three week I again had my blood drawn for hemoglobin and thyroid...but doctor never called.....i believe they were also normal.....
Right now I am experiencing Unreal world, pain in forehead
Can anyone tell me my risk of HIV please? I haven't had sex with my girlfriend since but I don't have guts either to get tested or to tell her about it.....please answer honestly...

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2012, 07:05:02 PM »
You had ABSOLUTELY NO RISK for HIV.

Insertive oral sex poses absolutely no risk. It has never been implicated in HIV transmission.

Licking your fingers while fingering her vagina also poses no risk, for several reasons:

The fluids you licked were non-infectious fluids expressed from her Bartholen Gland. These fluids (assuming she was indeed HIV positive) are no more infectious than sweat or tears (in other words, not.) Infectious fluids in a female are found deeper within the vagina, near the cervix. These fluids are thick and viscous, and not accessible by the finger or tongue. This is also one of the reasons why unprotected cunnilingus is also not an HIV risk.

In short, whatever has been physically wrong with you, it cannot scientifically be HIV.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Scaredsunny

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2012, 08:25:18 PM »
Thank you so much but what are the other std's I can catch with this act?
And is there any contagious disease or std which act so fact that made me feel sick within hours after that incident???

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2012, 08:32:27 PM »
Thank you so much but what are the other std's I can catch with this act?
And is there any contagious disease or std which act so fact that made me feel sick within hours after that incident???

Well STIs like chlamydia and gonorrhoea could be transmitted that way. They can affect your throat but they're quite likely to be symptomless.

Even though you do not need to be tested for HIV over this specific encounter like all sexually active people, you should be having a full sexual health screening at least once a year. Twice is better. If it's been a while since your last screening or if you've not had one before, you should visit your doctor or local clinic.

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread. It contains links to our lessons on HIV transmission.

MtD

Offline Scaredsunny

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2012, 11:11:31 PM »
In that case....I got myself tested for HIV two weeks ago, which was negative and I haven't had sex since.
But Sorry to bug you again, I haven't got my answers still, What kind of virus or bacteria could it be which made me sick right away after that incident..
My question is: Can a person get sick quickly (within hour or two of contact with infection) with saliva, vaginal fluid or oral which in my case was French kissing, licking finger after fingering, and insertive oral.....or was it something to do with her lipstick

Also my question is that what if she was bleeding or she had open sores in mouth, would there be any risk for me because I did not have none on me- in my moth or penis.

Offline Scaredsunny

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2012, 11:23:17 PM »
In that case....I got myself tested for HIV two weeks ago, which was negative and I haven't had sex since.
But Sorry to bug you again, I haven't got my answers still, What kind of virus or bacteria could it be which made me sick right away after that incident..
My question is: Can a person get sick quickly (within hour or two of contact with infection) with saliva, vaginal fluid or oral which in my case was French kissing, licking finger after fingering, and insertive oral.....or was it something to do with her lipstick

Also my question is that what if she was bleeding or she had open sores in mouth, would there be any risk for me because I did not have none on me- in my moth or penis.

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2012, 11:39:03 PM »
In that case....I got myself tested for HIV two weeks ago, which was negative and I haven't had sex since.
But Sorry to bug you again, I haven't got my answers still, What kind of virus or bacteria could it be which made me sick right away after that incident..
My question is: Can a person get sick quickly (within hour or two of contact with infection) with saliva, vaginal fluid or oral which in my case was French kissing, licking finger after fingering, and insertive oral.....or was it something to do with her lipstick

Also my question is that what if she was bleeding or she had open sores in mouth, would there be any risk for me because I did not have none on me- in my moth or penis.

And you're not going to get those answers here.  The bottom line is that you were not at risk for HIV.  Anything else, including your supposed symptoms, will need to be addressed with a medical doctor. 

Regarding your question about hypothetical blood in her mouth, the answer remains "absolutely no"; kissing does not represent a risk for this virus, no matter what variables or conjectures you may want to introduce.

Time to move on with your life.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline Ann

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2012, 06:27:43 AM »

I haven't had sex with my girlfriend since


Scared,

Nothing you did with the woman you didn't know well was a risk for hiv infection.

However.

It sounds to me like you think nothing of having unprotected intercourse with people you date and therefore think you know. That's insanity. Unless you've been tested together, you should be using condoms with ANYONE. Many people do not accurately know their hiv status and it wouldn't surprise me in the least if your girlfriend has never been tested despite having unprotected intercourse with boyfriends.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED FURTHER TESTING OVER THIS NO RISK INCIDENT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

What kind of virus or bacteria could it be which made me sick right away after that incident..

Nothing, other than maybe food poisoning, is going to make you ill that quickly. If you want to figure out where you caught whatever bug you caught, you need to look 24-48 hours before you started getting sick. At least.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Scaredsunny

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How did this happen???
« Reply #8 on: May 30, 2012, 03:44:54 PM »
There an article from a Gay author published some time ago in which he mentioned how he got HIV through oral sex and kissing.
http://gaylife.about.com/cs/hivaids1/a/hivstory.htm
Does this mean we are still uneducated about the transmission of HIV??

I need your help on this as I have done the same thing with a Sex worker (kissing and insertive oral) AND I am freaking out after reading this.
I can't go test myself as there are still two more months left.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #9 on: May 30, 2012, 04:32:41 PM »
First all you need to follow our rule as stated in the opening thread of this section and only write in the thread you began originally. I've merged your entries here and this is the only thread you should be using.

As to your latest concern, someone can claim to have been infected via oral. There is no special veritas to that simply because he's gay. For a lot of reasons people are often not reporting accurately. Claims of oral infection never seem to hold up under careful scrutiny.

The only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. That's it.

I wouldn't say it is not possible to become infected through oral sex. Theoretically only sex with your own hand is 100% safe.

The vast preponderance of evidence is against risk via oral sex. There have been longtem studies done of both gay and straight sero-discordant couples who had lots of mutual unprotected oral and only protected vaginal and anal. The results have been that not one single sero-negative partner became infected.

Stop worrying yourself unnecessarily. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline Scaredsunny

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #10 on: May 30, 2012, 05:59:29 PM »
Thanks Andy...I am sorry for asking too much, Its my anxiety that making me do all this research on oral sex and HIV....even though nothing can be done
thanks a lot again i won't bug again

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #11 on: May 30, 2012, 11:50:27 PM »
There an article from a Gay author published some time ago in which he mentioned how he got HIV through oral sex and kissing.
http://gaylife.about.com/cs/hivaids1/a/hivstory.htm
Does this mean we are still uneducated about the transmission of HIV??

I need your help on this as I have done the same thing with a Sex worker (kissing and insertive oral) AND I am freaking out after reading this.
I can't go test myself as there are still two more months left.

First off, if "about.com" posts are considered being published, then I have sat on my collection of short stories way too long.

The man claims to have been infected from simple kissing. Which is close to scientifically impossible.

See, we here at AIDSMEDS use peer-reviewed scientific data, published in scientific journals as our criteria. We do not use the anectodal postings of anyone who wants their agendas validated. One of these is science. The other is often fiction.

As is the case with the pool soul who wants everyone on about.com to think he got HIV from kissing.

Now, you are free to surf the net and you are certainly free to uncover a lot of stories. But here at AIDSMEDS we deal in verifiable scientific fact.  You are also, of course, free to reject that science. But that's all we have on our menu.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Scaredsunny

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #12 on: June 12, 2012, 08:41:40 PM »
I still can't get over stress and now living with depression, Headaches, different world, i have lost my job  :( I made a big mistake in cash my boss fired me,  >:( its all because of stress
Please guys, help me out..I know I am not infected with HIV...but the whole "blood entering the urethra" thing is stressing me out. PLUS time to time body aches, nausea, although they are all mild are making me wanna take a test...but its only 6 weeks.....I can't wait another 6 weeks...
I heard that antigen P24 4th gen HIV test is conclusive in six weeks. If it is can U guys please tell me where can i order the test kit for home?

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #13 on: June 12, 2012, 10:23:36 PM »
I know I am not infected with HIV...


This is the only part of your post that is relevant to these forums.  There is nothing new for any of us to add to this situation.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #14 on: June 13, 2012, 12:23:01 AM »
I still can't get over stress and now living with depression, Headaches, different world, i have lost my job  :( I made a big mistake in cash my boss fired me,  >:( its all because of stress
Please guys, help me out..I know I am not infected with HIV...but the whole "blood entering the urethra" thing is stressing me out. PLUS time to time body aches, nausea, although they are all mild are making me wanna take a test...but its only 6 weeks.....I can't wait another 6 weeks...
I heard that antigen P24 4th gen HIV test is conclusive in six weeks. If it is can U guys please tell me where can i order the test kit for home?


I think it's incredibly sad that you have lost so much over an incident that in no way posed a health hazard to you as regards HIV. I hope that you find the peace that you need. I suspect a trained professional counselor is your next stop here.

Sadly, this forum cannot help you overcome your anxieties.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Scaredsunny

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #15 on: June 13, 2012, 02:31:31 AM »
I think you guys can help me here with my anxieties. I don't wanna see doctors or psychiatrists as I have been to doctors 5 time in six weeks.
They have done CBC (2 times), HIV (after a week), hepatitis, Thyroid, pancreas, liver enzyme. I think doctor is done with me   :-\
I didn't tell him about the oral sex incident as I was always with my girlfriend and I could never tell her that I wanna go see the doctor alone. I can't drive to doctor myself as My driver license is revoked. So she drives. :-[
Could you please answer two of my question, which will surely lessen my anxieties...
1. Can blood from the mouth enter the urethra or is it a theoretical risk?
2. I haven't shown any ARS symptoms like fever, raised lymph nodes and every thing and its my 7th week going on. Does that mean I am clear? Or can I or anyone with possible exposure develop symptoms after this long time?

Thanks

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #16 on: June 13, 2012, 03:02:57 AM »
I think you guys can help me here with my anxieties. I don't wanna see doctors or psychiatrists as I have been to doctors 5 time in six weeks.
They have done CBC (2 times), HIV (after a week), hepatitis, Thyroid, pancreas, liver enzyme. I think doctor is done with me   :-\
I didn't tell him about the oral sex incident as I was always with my girlfriend and I could never tell her that I wanna go see the doctor alone. I can't drive to doctor myself as My driver license is revoked. So she drives. :-[
Could you please answer two of my question, which will surely lessen my anxieties...
1. Can blood from the mouth enter the urethra or is it a theoretical risk?
2. I haven't shown any ARS symptoms like fever, raised lymph nodes and every thing and its my 7th week going on. Does that mean I am clear? Or can I or anyone with possible exposure develop symptoms after this long time?

Thanks

A) Going to a doctor with an HIV scare is a better idea if you don't bring along the partner you cheated on, especially if she doesn't know.

B) It's not a theoretical risk. It's no risk. There is no theory of which I am aware that posits this as a viable means of infection. Please stop looking to place a risk factor on a non risk event.

C) As has been explained, symptoms or lack thereof are meaningless when assessing HIV infection and risk. You had no risk. Period.

As a matter of fact, many people have NO symptoms at all, and only get diagnosed when they are admitted to the hospital years after infection, with an easily avoidable opportunistic infection or AIDS-related condition. Some of these people live to enjoy a healthy life again. Others never leave the hospital.

There is no "tell" as regards HIV infection. There is just a test that detects antibodies and antigens.

And you do not, can not get HIV from getting a blow job. Blood in your urethra would have to pass through over a dozen hostile chemical elements in saliva intact, as well as undergo an pH change and be introduced to a temperature variance and supply of oxygen that would render the virus inactive on it's own.

Again, I am very sorry you have chosen, and continue to choose, this path. I will be referring your future posts to the moderators so that they can determine whether your continued presence here is helping, or hurting.

I suspect the latter.

To quote from our "welcome" thread:

Quote
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please take heed.

And best of luck dealing with this irrational fear.

« Last Edit: June 13, 2012, 03:04:28 AM by jkinatl2 »
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #17 on: June 13, 2012, 09:10:23 AM »

I heard that antigen P24 4th gen HIV test is conclusive in six weeks. If it is can U guys please tell me where can i order the test kit for home?


Scared,

If testing is the only way you're going to be able to put this behind you, then you can purchase a Home Access test. Many drug stores carry them and you can also order them over the internet. Make sure it's a Home Access - it's the only home test we recommend at this time. You do the test at home but mail it in to the Home Access people for interpretation and you ring them up a few days or a week later to learn the result.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, regardless of what generation test is used. Tests that also look for the p24 antigen are only useful in the first few weeks of infection as the p24 antigen disappears when antibodies appear.

Let me stress right now that you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection and testing is strictly for your peace of mind.

You will NOT be permitted to use this forum to continue to wring your hands over this NO RISK blowjob. Just in case you missed it in Jonathan's post...

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Scaredsunny

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HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #18 on: June 19, 2012, 12:34:05 AM »
I know you guys have already warned me to question about HIV but I have different concern I know you can answer right. I am having sore throat (left side for two days).....I know it can't be ARS but can it be MONO?? it started 7 weeks after the incident....

Offline RapidRod

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #19 on: June 19, 2012, 12:39:10 AM »
I know you guys have already warned me to question about HIV but I have different concern I know you can answer right. I am having sore throat (left side for two days).....I know it can't be ARS but can it be MONO?? it started 7 weeks after the incident....
This forum is HIV specific.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: HIV by insertive oral or licking finger?
« Reply #20 on: June 19, 2012, 08:41:46 AM »
You need to discuss your concern about mono and anything else with your doctor.

We cannot diagnose anything and as Rod has indicated, our only and specific focus here is on HIV, which is not an issue for you at this time.

Andy Velez

Offline Scaredsunny

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oral sex between poz-neg?
« Reply #21 on: June 24, 2012, 09:26:34 PM »
I just met a girl who is HIV positive, she is not on medication. She said her CD4 count is high so she don't need it now. But I assume her VL must be high.
Anyways, she wants to give me unprotected oral sex as she says it safe.

Is there any POS-NEG couple in here, who can really confirm me, i mean who practice unprotected oral sex and don't pass on the infection. Please help me out.

Offline LM

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Re: oral sex between poz-neg?
« Reply #22 on: June 25, 2012, 01:34:20 AM »
I believe you're asking in the wrong place, since you are neg, and this will soon be moved.

But anyway, yeah, it's safe, you don't have to worry about it.

Offline Scaredsunny

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Re: oral sex between poz-neg?
« Reply #23 on: June 25, 2012, 02:56:53 AM »
I know I should be asking in the other forum but I don't think positive people or sero couples often go to "am i infected" page. I hope I can get more views from poz's.
Please... :)

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: oral sex between poz-neg?
« Reply #24 on: June 25, 2012, 04:18:02 AM »
I know I should be asking in the other forum but I don't think positive people or sero couples often go to "am i infected" page. I hope I can get more views from poz's.
Please... :)

I'm one of the approved respondents in the Am I forum and I am both poz AND in a serodiscordant relationship. As is another respondent.

Moreover, your question is not an opinion piece but a clear cut transmission question

This falls totally in the category of Am I Infected. As you must be aware.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline Ann

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Re: oral sex between poz-neg?
« Reply #25 on: June 25, 2012, 07:24:56 AM »
Scared,

I removed the thread you started in the Living forum - where you already KNOW you're not supposed to post - and merged it here with the only thread in which you're permitted to post.

Giving a woman oral is NOT a risk for hiv infection. You've already been told that sexually speaking, the only proven risks are unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse.

I was in a serodiscordant relationship for years. He remained hiv negative and the only thing we did to keep him hiv negative was to use condoms for intercourse. And yes, he gave (very good) oral sex. I wasn't on meds either and my viral load wasn't all that high, so stop "assuming" that hers is high. It probably isn't.

You've been warned about being given a time out before, and since you so blatantly ignored our posting rules and posted in the Living forum when you knew you shouldn't, I'm giving you a time out.

Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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