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Author Topic: Can't believe I'm here. . .  (Read 10308 times)

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Offline scross

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Can't believe I'm here. . .
« on: May 24, 2012, 11:01:17 AM »
I can't believe I'm posting here. . . Like everyone else, I thought (for some idiotic reason) that I was invincible.

I've been with my wife for almost 8 years, and I recently had an encounter with
another male I met on Craigslist. He and I had unprotected oral sex, and he licked my anus. He also tried to insert his penis in my anus. It felt quite painful, and he pulled out after 3-5 seconds. We both ejaculated on his stomach. I know there's always a risk when having unprotected sex with a stranger, but I'm extremely worried that I've just thrown away my wonderful relationship with my wife (and my life as I know it). What really scares me is the unprotected anal penetration. Since it was fairly painful, I'm afraid that there might have been a tear in my anal tissue (which would open up the possibility of his preseminal fluid enetering my blood stream, right?)

Now, I guess I just have to sit back and wait to see if I come down with any symptoms, right? I felt a bit dizzy last night and this morning, but I'm sure that's just me worrying.

The tough thing is that my wife will want to have sex this weekend, and I'm so worried about infecting her. If I tell her, my relationship and life as I know it will be over- no questions asked. I'm worried sick about infecting her, but I don't want to ruin everything we have by telling her what I did. I should have thought about that before doing the idiotic thing that I did, though, right? I know this sounds like bullshit, but I will NEVER cheat on her again. I also think I need to start seeing a therapist for some sort of sexual counseling.  I looked at a lot of porn when I was a young child, and I think it really screwed me up. I don't think I'm really gay or bisexual. I'm just very unhappy with my job right now, and I feel like my being sexually promiscuous is related to that.

So, I know that I'm bargaining now with the unknown. . . I will change my ways and start living for the better. Any advice or words of encouragement (and I know that's all the help you can give me) would be tremendously appreciated.

I would like to commend the moderators on this forum for all of the time and energy devoted to giving those people, like myself, somewhere to express their worry and concern. This is truly a humanitarian website, and it gives me renewed faith in mankind.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2012, 02:20:43 PM »
The only thing you mention that is a bit of a risk is the attempted anal insertion, and that's a pretty low, low risk from what you described.

Other STDs? Of course. But insofar as HIV is concerned, I wouldn't even think to test over the experience as you described except for peace of mind.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2012, 04:52:45 PM »
Thanks so much for the reply. I'd like to think I'm at low risk, but I know that's not the same as no risk. . . I've been having some very faint stomach cramps and faint nausea, but I'm wondering if that would just be nerves? I guess I opened myself up to a whole slew of STDs that I should worry about. The guy looked healthy, but I know that probably doesn't mean much. What STDs would be the biggest ones to be afraid of at this point?

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2012, 05:45:08 PM »
Thanks so much for the reply. I'd like to think I'm at low risk, but I know that's not the same as no risk. . . I've been having some very faint stomach cramps and faint nausea, but I'm wondering if that would just be nerves? I guess I opened myself up to a whole slew of STDs that I should worry about. The guy looked healthy, but I know that probably doesn't mean much. What STDs would be the biggest ones to be afraid of at this point?

I agree with Jonathan. If this is a risk situation for HIV (IF) then it's vanishingly small. Personally I don't think you need to test for HIV but if it will give you peace of mind go ahead. 13 weeks from the date of the hot man-on-man encounter.

Other STIs are more communicable than HIV but rather than list off various venereal nasties, I'd suggest you arrange to have a full sexual health screen which will include an HIV antibody test. You should also arrange to be vaccinated for Hepatitis A and Hepatitis B.

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread. It contains links to our lessons on HIV transmission. It also lists the posting guidelines for this forum. Study them well so you know how much we're prepared to put up with.

From here on out you must use condoms when having sex with other men. Don't tell me that you'll never let another fella have a go at your batty because I know your type and you always do. You know this too.

As for sex with your wife, well we can't help you there. That's a dilemma only you can deal with. Do you refuse her advances, insist on condoms, fuck her bare or 'fess up to your shenannigans?

Good luck with that.

MtD

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2012, 09:11:03 AM »
Not sure if anyone can help with this or offer any advice. . . I'm planning a trip to my doctor next week, as soon as I can make an appointment. Aside from some very minor pain in my lower left abdomen that stopped yesterday (might have been nerves), I started having some very slight discomfort in my anus yesterday. I was able to feel a tiny bump (feels like a skin tag) with my finger last night on the inside of my rectum. I'm really worried that I have herpes in my anus. Could I have been infected with herpes from this guy dipping the tip of his penis in my anus for a few seconds. His penis looked fine and didn't have any bumps or anything on it, but I've read that people infected with herpes might not display symptoms. Please help, if you have any experience with this. I'm really freaking out. If I'm infected, I don't know what I'll do. My relationship and life will be over. I think I'm too afraid to committ suicide, but I don't know what I would do. . .

Offline Ann

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #5 on: May 28, 2012, 04:56:45 AM »
scross,

People normally get herpes on the OUTSIDE of the anus. Not the inside. Were you in the habit of feeling the inside of your anus before this incident? I bet you weren't and I bet you're feeling something that was there all along.

And I'll tell you this, if you were dealing with a primary herpes infection, it would hurt like hell. Believe me, you'd be wishing you were never born every time you had a bowel movement.

Regardless, it's always a good idea to check with your doctor when things are worrying you physically.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #6 on: May 28, 2012, 08:03:57 AM »
I just want to update my post, in case someone were to have the same sitauation somewhere down the line. . . I went to the  doctor yesterday (Urgent Care Clinic) and he inspected my rectum as much as he could with what little equipment they had. He felt the small bump I was talking about and gave me a prescription to wipe out Gonnorhea and Chlamydia, but I heard him murmur something to the aid about herpes. He told me to come back in 4 or 5 days if things got worse.
As the day wore on yesterday, my rectum became more and more uncomfortable. Using a hand mirror and a flashlight, I was able to open my rectum enough to see two large white bumps (about the size of large pimples I had as a teenager). I currently feel a great deal of pressure- almost like I have hemmorhoids. I haven't eaten much lately, so no really painful bowel movements to speak of.
I also finally told my wife last night that I had messed around with a stranger on Craigslist and that I think I'm sick. I had rented a car and packed all of my things before I told her. I thought I might go stay with my uncle for a few weeks or my parents. My wife wouldn't let me leave, though. She insisted that I stay and face the music.
So, that's where I'm at right now. Nightmares all through the night and this morning I woke up to the nightmare that I'm living. I think I'm having little panic atttacks where the walls feel like they're closing in and I just want to get out but there's nowhere to go. Thoughts of suicide, but I don't think it's something I could ever do (at least that's what I told myself and my wife).
I also told my wife that there's a chance  this could be HIV. I know the risk was low, but if an STD was transmitted, I suppose anything is possible. Everything gone in the wink of an eye with one stupid action. I'm so frustrated and angry. It's just that I fucked up once and will pay for it for the rest of my life.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #7 on: May 28, 2012, 08:41:52 AM »
If you are really about to act out on suicidal impulses then you ought to get yourself to the nearest emergency room and tell them that.

I hear you loud and clear about the state of upset you are in. I can also tell you that nothing you are describing symptomatically is suggestive of HIV. Just strictly as one of those old fashioned remedies for your sore bum, you might try soaking in a warm bath into which you mix epsom salts. It's one of the old time remedies which can do amazing things.

Also whenever you find yourself tensing up and panicking try some good deep and slow breathing. It can work wonders.

As far as HIV is concerned I expect you to come out of this ok. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #8 on: May 28, 2012, 11:50:25 AM »
Thank you, Andy. I'm going to try to see a therapist tomorrow, so that I can just start talking about this with someone. I feel numb right now, and I'm worried about the emotions that are surely on the way. I feel like I keep walking in and out of dream and reality.

I will try soaking later if it gets to be especially unbearable.

I did some deep breathing last night when I woke up, and it definitely helped get me through the night.

Thanks so much for being there in my time of need.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #9 on: May 28, 2012, 01:15:48 PM »
You're welcome. I'm glad our exchange was helpful.

Andy Velez

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2012, 08:50:13 PM »
If I do have herpes in my anus, does anyone know if I can expect it to spread to my genitals? I've searched for these answers online, but I keep getting mixed answers. I'm planning to go to an STD clinic in a few weeks, since I think I'm too early for any testing right now?

My wife and I are abstaining for obvious physical and emotional reasons.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #11 on: May 28, 2012, 09:11:05 PM »
Our focus here is strictly on HIV-related issues.

I suggest you call your doctor and ask that question.

Andy Velez

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #12 on: May 29, 2012, 08:27:29 PM »
Saw the doctor today. He confirmed that I was too early for any testing, but he did check out my rectum and doesn't think the bump(s) I've been feeling are herpes or hpv (although he said there IS still a decent chance). He thought the pain might be from an enflamed polyp. I just think it's too much of a coincidence, but I'm being hopeful and thinking that the brief penetration irritated things enough to cause an inflamation (that's me being optimistic. . .)

In any case, I'm going to go back in two weeks and have a full std screen with hiv. . . Therapy starts on Thursday. My wife is being incredibly supportive and strong, despite all of the pain and heartache that I've caused her.

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #13 on: June 01, 2012, 06:06:46 PM »
Is it true that I can be tested for HIV as soon as 3 weeks after the questionable encounter? I read all of the introductory material and the part that says it's not manadatory to wait 13 weeks for one type of testing. The doctor I met with at the STD clinic also said I could return after 3 weeks for testing. Is the earlier test not very reliable or something?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #14 on: June 01, 2012, 06:28:25 PM »
Scross, the average time to seroconversion is 22 days. However, 6 weeks is a better testing point. At 6 weeks all but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will have done so. So if you get a negative then it points the way to likely testing negative for a conclusive negative at 3 months.
Andy Velez

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #15 on: June 07, 2012, 06:06:34 PM »
Hey Andy-
Sorry to take up more of your time, but I'm now wondering if there would be any benefit from testing at 3 weeks?
I'd love to get a little peace of mind, but I'm also worried about getting a false positive if I test too early. . .
I'm at day 16 since my risky encounter, and it's absolute torture. I'm trying to keep my mind off of it, but I start freaking out at the slightest body ache. If this isn't enough to ensure that I'll never do something so stupid again, I don't know what is.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #16 on: June 07, 2012, 06:43:58 PM »
While MOST people who seroconvert do so by day 22, the gold standard is still three months.

I honestly don't understand why the level of anxiety is so high over what appears to be a vanishingly small risk, if indeed there was a risk at all. I posit that this might be displaced guilt over having strayed, and having done so with a guy?

Regardless, I wouldn't even recommend testing over the incident as described, much less fret about it. If, however, you continue to seek out extracurricular activities, you would be doing your wife a favor by wearing condoms with her (and other partners, of course.) While HIV is EXTREMELY difficult to get, other STDs like gonorrhea and chlamydia are EXTREMELY  easy to acquire, and in many cases (especially in men) do not have symptoms. Not only are these two "simple" STDs far more dangerous to a female than a male, but antibiotic-resistant versions are gaining ground worldwide.

Not to scare you further, just to remind you that HIV is pretty much not on the menu of possibility here.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #17 on: June 07, 2012, 09:35:27 PM »
Thanks so much for the reassuring words, jkinatl2.

I just keep going over the worst case scenario in my head, and it's tough to stop thinking of it. It has been a bit difficult to swallow for the past two days, but I don't think it's a sore throat (just yet). . . I know that's a symptom of the common cold, but I can't keep my imagination from running wild. . .

I actually came clean with my wife a few days after the incident, so that I wouldn't risk infecting her with anything. She was extremely upset, but she wouldn't let me just leave. I think we're going to work through this, but now I'm just incredibly worried about the possibility that I could be sick for the rest of my life. . . She and I are abstaining from sex, until I can have some tests done.

I do feel the guilt and remorse from having strayed. I don't think it's especially heightened by the fact that it was a guy, though. Stangely enough, I think my wife was kind of relieved that it wasn't another girl (small grin at that thought- or as much as I can muster, right now).

You didn't scare me further, though. I've been reading about herpes, hpv, and every other nasty under the sun for the last couple of days. Your words will actually help me sleep tonight.

Offline spooked26

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #18 on: June 09, 2012, 10:19:04 AM »
Scross,

Brother, I've been where you are, still there although its getting much better.

As others have said, your exposure risk for HIV is extremely MINISCULE!!!!!! 

My exposure was unprotected vaginal with a female who started her period in the middle of it.  Yep BLOOD exposure.  I tested negative at 11 weeks. A little early but as you'll hear here, and read elsewhere, the VAST majority of people who are going to seroconvert (develop antibodies) will do so by 6 weeks.

My main advice to you is this:  STAY THE HELL OFF THE INTERNET!!!!

There is soooo much conflicting information out there that all it will do is confuse and scare the shit outta you.  TRUST ME!!!

I'll be praying for you and your wife bro!!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #19 on: June 09, 2012, 10:28:52 AM »
Spooked, only those who are authorized to do so may respond to other members in this section as is stated in the opening thread in this section. You do not have that authorization so no matter how well intentioned you are, don't do it again. You should only be writing in your own thread.

Thanks for your cooperation.
Andy Velez

Offline spooked26

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #20 on: June 09, 2012, 02:08:15 PM »
Sorry Andy.  Won't do it again.   

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #21 on: June 09, 2012, 02:19:09 PM »
OK. Thanks.
Andy Velez

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #22 on: June 22, 2012, 10:18:22 AM »
 I saw a doctor at the end of last week, and he didnít want to do any STD testing. He said I was too early and that my exposure (for HIV) was incredibly miniscule. He did say that there was an HIV test they could do that would look for HIV in the blood, but he said that would raise some red flags and that I might get a phone call from a health department official (and he said those individuals can be a little on the ďharshĒ side). So, he said I might have herpes and gave me a week of Valtrex for the rectal discomfort Iíve been having.

So, I went to see another doctor this week to see if I could go ahead and start suppressive antivirals for the possible herpes infection. The doctor insisted that I go ahead and do some testing, even though I was only 4 weeks post exposure. He said thereís a chance that my body was already creating antibodies, if I was infected with HIV or HSV.

I got some of the results back  yesterday, and the ďAnti-HIV 1+2 Assay GroupĒ came back as being nonreactive. I know thatís certainly more cheerful than a reactive test result, but is there much reassurance from those results at this point (since the test was administered only 4 weeks post exposure)? I plan to get tested again at 13 weeks for a definitive result.

All other tests came back negative, but Iím still waiting on the HSV blood test. I think thatís going to be the real kicker. My wife and I are continuing to abstain from sex, until I have a better idea of where Iím at with the possible HIV/HSV infections. Iím about 99% sure I have HSV, though. The symptoms and the timeline of those symptoms are a little too coincidental. Anyway, enough about that. I know this is an HIV forum.

Iíve also started seeing a therapist for my recent behavior and the anxiety Iíve been having over this possible HIV exposure. Regardless of what happens, Iím going to put a positive spin on this experience and change my life for the better.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #23 on: June 22, 2012, 10:22:34 AM »
Every negative is a happy thing. The average time to seroconversion is 22 days. So yes, a negative at 4 weeks does have a good value to it.

Ultimately you're going to come out of this ok as far as HIV is concerned.
Andy Velez

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #24 on: July 07, 2012, 10:20:32 PM »
Can ARS rash develope only on the scalp? I've been reading more about HIV, and I actually had a slightly sore scalp that was red and irritated with some small pimple size bumps  toward the sides and back. It lasted for about 4 days or so. . .

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #25 on: July 07, 2012, 10:29:50 PM »
No the rash if one has it would not only develop on the scalp.

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #26 on: July 08, 2012, 10:25:23 PM »
I had someone come to administer an oral test this afternoon, as I was just completely freaking out. The test came back negative, and I'm about 6.5 weeks post exposure. I know I still have to tst at 13 weeks, but I guess this is a pretty good sign?

Offline Ann

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #27 on: July 09, 2012, 06:30:24 AM »
Scross,

Your 6.5 week negative result is highly unlikely to change.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #28 on: July 11, 2012, 05:12:17 PM »
Thanks, Ann. Not to beat a dead horse, but are there any numbers/percentages associated with a 6 week negative turning into a positive at 13 weeks?

The woman who gave me the 6.5 week test said about 75% would have seroconverted by that point. I know a negative at 6.5 weeks is definitely better than a positive, but 3 out of 4 odds don't seem all that great when you're talking about HIV. . .

I'm just so worried. About 2 weeks after my exposure, I woke up with a sore throat, swollen lymp nodes in my neck, and the feeling that I had the flu. This lasted for about 2 days or so, and the sore throat lasted a bit longer. I just figured the symptoms were probably due to a possible herpes infection (as I had already had the little bumps in my rectum by that point). Now, I'm starting to really worry that those symptoms were ARS. . .

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #29 on: July 11, 2012, 05:19:00 PM »
Scross,

Your 6.5 week negative result is highly unlikely to change.

Ann

You are beating a dead horse. When Ann says a negative a 6.5 weeks is highly unlikely to change, she means exactly that. You're just going to have to be patient and wait a little longer to get the negative result we're expecting for you.

Meantime you need to make a real effort to focus on other things in your life and avoid surfing the net about HIV. By doing that the waiting time can pass more easily than you may imagine is possible. And don't bother saying you're too worried to do that because I can tell you that response won't fly here. Just do it.

We expect you to come out of this ok. 
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #30 on: July 12, 2012, 06:26:08 AM »
Scross,

If the symptoms you experienced two weeks after your encounter had anything to do with hiv, you would have definitely tested positive at 6.5 weeks.

The symptoms that some (not all) people experience are not due to the virus itself. They are due to the process the body goes through while producing antibodies. This is why I can say with confidence that your results are not likely to change, but you must confirm at three months to be absolutely certain.

You never had a true risk to begin with.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #31 on: July 12, 2012, 12:46:40 PM »
Thanks, Andy. I will make a valliant effort to focus on other things. It's difficult, but I know I don't have to tell you guys that.

I wish I could discuss the emotions/feelings that I'm having with my wife, but she (understandably) doesn't want to hear it and really isn't in a position to offer sympathy right now (since I brought this whole mess on myself by cheating on her).

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #32 on: July 12, 2012, 12:52:10 PM »
How about going to see a counselor or other professional to discuss your thoughts and feelings about the situation?
Andy Velez

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #33 on: July 12, 2012, 03:30:51 PM »
How about going to see a counselor or other professional to discuss your thoughts and feelings about the situation?

Hey Andy-
I meant to mention that earlier. I started to see a therapist after this whole thing started, but insurance only covers one meeting each week. My therapist also suggested that I save the "tough discussions" for him, until things start looking up. I just find that I get in such a rut between sessions, and I start feeling kind of panicky when I don't have someone to discuss things with. This forum has definitely helped, though. I seriously can't thank you guys enough for making this available.

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #34 on: July 12, 2012, 03:39:25 PM »
Scross,

If the symptoms you experienced two weeks after your encounter had anything to do with hiv, you would have definitely tested positive at 6.5 weeks.

The symptoms that some (not all) people experience are not due to the virus itself. They are due to the process the body goes through while producing antibodies. This is why I can say with confidence that your results are not likely to change, but you must confirm at three months to be absolutely certain.

You never had a true risk to begin with.

Ann

Thanks SO much, Ann. That all makes sense and actually makes me feel a lot better. I guess I just didn't understand the whole seroconversion process well enough. I've been surfing the internet a lot lately, and there are so many conflicting sources. I need to take Andy's advice and stop obsessing about this. . .

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #35 on: July 16, 2012, 06:05:48 PM »
This is probably a silly question. . . Would herpes antiviral drugs, such as acyclovir, have any influence on an HIV test at 6.5 weeks?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #36 on: July 16, 2012, 06:14:27 PM »
No, they would not affect the reliability of your test result.
Andy Velez

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #37 on: July 16, 2012, 10:28:45 PM »
Thanks, Andy. Just when I feel like I've blocked this from my mind, little doubts and questions start creeping back in...

Is it true that there's a test that can be done to specifically look for the virus, rather than waiting for antibodies to form for detection? I'm pretty sure one of my doctors said they could do a test like that, but he suggested against it for some reason. If there is such a test that can be performed at any time, why not skip the 13 week wait and just cut to the chase?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #38 on: July 17, 2012, 08:30:45 AM »
There is no test that will give you an absolutely conclusive negative result before 3 months. That's the standard endorsed by the CDC and we go with that recommendation.

All but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after a risk. A negative result at 6 weeks is very strong assurance that a negative result is likely again at 3 months.
Andy Velez

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #39 on: July 19, 2012, 11:31:55 AM »
I freaked out again and went for another test at 8 weeks. I'm happy to report my results were still negative. I'm going to take everyone's advice (including my therapist's) and try not to dwell on this any longer. No more testing for me until the 12/13 week mark. . .

One thing they never told us or emphasized in Sex Ed was the agonizing wait period to find out whether you have or have not been infected. It probably would have gone in one ear and out the other, but. . . I wonder if any high schools have adopted any programs where HIV+ people are given the opportunity to speak to a group of young adults? Had I heard about this awful disease from an HIV+ person, first hand, I probably would have taken that lesson to heart. Hindsight is 20/20.

Offline Ann

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #40 on: July 19, 2012, 11:55:59 AM »
Scross,

No big surprise - you never had a true risk to begin with as I've told you repeatedly.


Had I heard about this awful disease from an HIV+ person, first hand, I probably would have taken that lesson to heart. Hindsight is 20/20.



I doubt it. You've been hearing about hiv first hand from hiv positive people since you joined this forum and what we tell you is still going in one ear and out the other.

Your results are NOT going to change.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #41 on: July 23, 2012, 11:17:07 AM »
Thanks so much for the reassuring words, Ann. I'm just so terribly afraid that I find myself scrutinizing the slightest ache or pain. I cringe whenever I discuss these fears with my therapist, as I've become quite the hypochondriac over the past two months. . .

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #42 on: July 23, 2012, 05:08:59 PM »
Scross,

No big surprise - you never had a true risk to begin with as I've told you repeatedly.


Ann

Hey Ann-
I know I need to stop obsessing about this, but I'm just so worried about the possible risk. I know I'd probably have to be one of the biggest winners of the "unlucky lottery" to have been infected by this singular and brief episode of dipping, but I've read other people's posts on this forum where the posters are confident that they've become infected through a single episode of dipping. . . I guess I'm just worried that this guy could have been recently infected (with a high viral load) and that a tiny bit of his precum found its way into a tear in my anal tissue from his unlubricated thrust. . .

I also read someone else's post where he experienced typical ARS symptoms early in May, tested negative on May 24, and then tested positive later. . . You said I would have tested positive at 8 weeks, though, if my symptoms were related to ARS?

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #43 on: July 30, 2012, 05:15:21 PM »
tested again at 10 weeks with a negative result. . . sincerely hope I win the lottery this week, so that I can start an HIV/AIDS charity

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #44 on: July 30, 2012, 05:30:34 PM »
A negative result is always a happy thing. That result is certainly no surprise at this end as we have been repeatedly saying to you.
Andy Velez

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #45 on: August 01, 2012, 12:01:07 PM »
Thanks, Andy. I keep going through this vicious cycle with the testing. I feel better for a few hours after I get tested, but the doubt inevitably starts to creep back into my mind. . .

I actually have an odd question for either you or Ann, though. Along with my  upcoming/definitive HIV test at 13 weeks, I plan to have a full STD panel to see if I can figure out whether my continuous rectal fissures are a result of a herpes infection. The fact that I have had non-stop mild discomfort in my rectum for the past 10 weeks or so scares me, as I'm worried this might be an indication that my immune system has been weakened and is unable to adequately fight whatever is causing me the pain.

In any case, I thought it might be worth trying Monistat 7 or another aniti-fungal drug (in case the fissures are a result of a fungal infection, which I've read is possible). I was reading the Monistat website, though, and it says that you shouldn't take it if you have possibly been exposed to HIV. Do you guys have any idea why that would be the case?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #46 on: August 01, 2012, 12:54:52 PM »
Our focus here is strictly on HIV. Any other physical concerns you may have are something for you to discuss with your doctor.

We continue to expect you to test negative.
Andy Velez

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #47 on: August 01, 2012, 02:14:35 PM »
Thanks, Andy. I thought this question was technically HIV related: Why would there be a specific warning on Monistat for people who have been exposed to HIV? I apologize, though, if this isn't appropriate for the forum.

Offline Ann

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #48 on: August 01, 2012, 03:30:22 PM »
Scross,

Your ten week negative is NOT going to change. Go get your butt looked at by a doctor and quit trying to diagnose yourself.

Whatever is going on has NOTHING to do with a virus you do not have.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scross

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Re: Can't believe I'm here. . .
« Reply #49 on: August 01, 2012, 05:39:12 PM »
Thanks, Ann. Somehow, you always manage to make me smile  ;D

 


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