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Author Topic: Will I ever be a mom?  (Read 5763 times)

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Offline Positivelyhopeful

  • Member
  • Posts: 14
  • My life doesn't end here!
Will I ever be a mom?
« on: May 22, 2012, 05:16:04 PM »
Hi Ladies,

I'm a young woman (25 y.o.) who's recently been diagnosed and I've been handling most of it well except that my biggest dream seems to have been crushed. I've always looked forward to being happily married with kids and now that doesn't seem very possible. Where I live its difficult to find a suitable partner even in the best of situations but being positive makes it even worse. I love children and I'm so good with them, being an only child for my parents how will I handle not having children of my own? Its absolutely devastating. That's the part I cry about most. I guess you all cant change the situation but I just wanted to vent a bit since I haven't told anyone about my status.

Keep offering the wonderful encouragement you have been.

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,334
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2012, 05:21:33 PM »
Adopt. You get to be Mom and Dad, make unilateral decisions, work your ass off and never enjoy being home more.

Offline Positivelyhopeful

  • Member
  • Posts: 14
  • My life doesn't end here!
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2012, 05:56:39 PM »
Dwl. That's a wonderful option. I'll def ask you to be the Godparent too.  ;) Thanks for lightening the mood Em.

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,334
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2012, 09:59:49 PM »
You're most welcome. There's a kid out there who's already waiting for you.

Offline aelizabeth1019

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2012, 10:15:51 PM »
I worry about that too positivelyhopeful, I worry about being alone and not having kids, but then I remind myself that there are all sorts of definitions of motherhood, adoption like emeraldize pointed out or being a step mom and many others. Not to mention, there IS still the possiblity of meeting someone and going about it the old fashioned way! Do you ever look at thebody.com? I read some of the women's personal stories on there about all the things they've done since becoming diagnosed including getting married and having kids and it really does boost me up.

Offline Positivelyhopeful

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  • Posts: 14
  • My life doesn't end here!
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2012, 10:25:28 PM »
@Em: Thank you!

@Liz: I haven't looked at that site. I definitely will. Its just that where I live people aren't very accepting or open-minded about it. I'd probably have to find someone online or via some other medium but I'm an optimistic person so we'll see. It'll be difficult for me to disclose though, I'm sure.

Offline CODgamerz

  • Member
  • Posts: 20
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2012, 10:52:35 PM »
Did not know I could not post here. Deleted
« Last Edit: May 22, 2012, 11:40:36 PM by CODgamerz »
03/22/2012 Tested HIV+
04/12/2012 CD4 392 VL 128,000
04/21/2012 Began Atripla

Offline idee

  • Member
  • Posts: 220
  • Hi...
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2012, 11:59:10 PM »
I had my daughter at almost three years positive. I just trusted my doctors and did what they said.
 Some irresponsible moment I became pregnant. Her dad left so for the first six years I was a single mom. Then I went online and met my hubby who has been positive for almost 23 years now.
 I was on a study that covered my medical cost with my pregnancy.
 I also had my daughter natural birth.

Offline Positivelyhopeful

  • Member
  • Posts: 14
  • My life doesn't end here!
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #8 on: May 24, 2012, 09:15:50 PM »
Idee thats amazing!!!! Well, not that your daughter's dad left but atleast you've found love. I am so happy that you have a happy ending to your love story. I pray that I will too. Crossing my fingers and toes about it.  :) Thank you all for the uplifting words.

Offline idee

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  • Posts: 220
  • Hi...
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #9 on: May 25, 2012, 03:13:57 PM »
I met my husband on a site called love is postive. I don't know if it is still up but it worked for me.
I know you'll have a happy ending.

Offline idee

  • Member
  • Posts: 220
  • Hi...
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #10 on: May 25, 2012, 03:16:36 PM »

Offline Positivelyhopeful

  • Member
  • Posts: 14
  • My life doesn't end here!
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #11 on: May 29, 2012, 04:37:15 PM »
Thanks Idee. You are truly an angel.

Offline jenlynnjohnson24

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #12 on: June 06, 2012, 12:18:14 PM »
Hi, I am a 36yo hiv+ woman , diagnosed in feb 2008 . I am 10wks pregnant right now. I will say that I am undetectable, and have been since April 2008. My husband, whom i married just last yr, obviously knows and gets tested regularly. I do not have to change my drug regimen but will have to take AZT during the birth, ans baby will have to take it for the first six wks. This is just my personal story, but I wanted to share it with you.

Offline Positivelyhopeful

  • Member
  • Posts: 14
  • My life doesn't end here!
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #13 on: June 07, 2012, 09:20:49 PM »
Hi, I am a 36yo hiv+ woman , diagnosed in feb 2008 . I am 10wks pregnant right now. I will say that I am undetectable, and have been since April 2008. My husband, whom i married just last yr, obviously knows and gets tested regularly. I do not have to change my drug regimen but will have to take AZT during the birth, ans baby will have to take it for the first six wks. This is just my personal story, but I wanted to share it with you.

Thank you so much for your response and wonderful story. I wish you all the best in your marriage, pregnancy and subsequent motherhood. I hope I will be as blessed as you are and find the deep rooted love that looks beyond imperfections. I am genuinely happy for you. Kindly keep me posted as you journey through pregnancy. Believe it or not I anxiously await the fetal movements and sleepless nights. I know, I'm crazy.

Offline poshealthy2000

  • member
  • Posts: 1
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #14 on: July 01, 2012, 05:43:38 PM »
Hi Positively hopeful,
Never give up!!! I am 37 have been positive since 2000 , Have been very lucky have been healthy I  am on treatment and viral load undetectable.
I have tried to remain hopefull and positive over the years  but have often felt as you do that my dreams of meeting someone special and becoming a mum would never come true.!!
After a couple of unsuccessful relationships, 3 years ago I met my now hubby , he is negative and totally supportive. I am 12 weeks pregnant and over the moon!!!!! I never dreamed I would get here!!
You are young please stay strong ! the right person is out there for you - be carefull not to pick wrong one just because they accept your status ( a mistake I have made in past!) your day will come ! remember you are the same wonderful person as before u got yr status and the right man will appreciate that ! Good luck take care  :)

Offline TabooPrincess

  • Member
  • Posts: 279
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #15 on: July 10, 2012, 02:03:11 PM »
I was infected at 28 yo and had the exact same fears.  Not even a year later I found myself pregnant by accident (from the man in question) and now have a healthy lovely 2 year old boy and I'm confident I'll also have more in the future despite not being with his dad even before finding out I was pregnant.  If we knew what was going to happen in the future then it wouldn't be any fun.  What will be will be, trust in that if nothing else.  I truly believe there is a reason for all of this, even if we don't know it yet xxxx
09/ 2008 - Seroconversion
11/2008 - Tested pos, cd4 640 vl 25400
12/2008 - cd4 794 vl 27798, 35%
03/2009 - cd4 844 vl 68846, 35%
06/2009 - cd4 476 vl 49151, 33% (pregnancy confirmed)
08/2009 - cd4 464 vl 54662, 32%
Started meds for pregnancy (Kaletra, AZT, Viread)
09/2009 - cd4 841 vl 3213, 42%
10/2009 - cd4 860 vl 1088, 41%
11/2009 - cd4 771 vl 563, 38%
12/2009 - cd4 885 vl 151 42%
Discontinued meds after baby born
02/2010 - cd4 841 vl 63781, 38%
05/2010 - cd4 1080 vl 113000, 39%
08/2010 - cd4 770 vl 109242
12/2010 - cd4 642 vl 111000, 34%
06/2011 - cd4 450 vl 222000, 33%
11/2011 - cd4 419 vl 212000, 24%
03/2012 - cd4 280 vl 118000, 26% (repeated Cd4 at 360)
05/2012 -cd4 360 vl 99,190
10/2012 Atripla, cd4 690, vl 80
12/2012 Darunavir, norvir, truvada, Cd4 680, vl u/d
07/2013 cd4 750,ud

Offline 27years

  • Member
  • Posts: 145
  • What I did for love I will still do it for love
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #16 on: January 23, 2013, 03:00:03 PM »
I had my child 2 years ago from a man i met on poz personals, you can still have kids and lead a normal life,  the world hasn't ended.  Kids are not a bed of roses lol, i thought i was going to be at my happiest after having a child only to find out its not a walk to the park at all. Hopefully your dreams will come true one day
Nobody dies a virgin life screws us all up

Offline PiscesLove

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
  • Tryna Get It Together
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #17 on: February 15, 2013, 11:45:08 PM »
Wow.! I've been wondering this same thing, this is good to know.
•1 Life 2 Live•

Offline pozswm

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
  • Live, love, laugh and learn
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #18 on: March 02, 2013, 04:25:41 PM »
I remember being young and newly diagnosed with HIV AND 5 months pregnant with my son - needless to say I ignored the idiot doctors I had then that told me I should abort (ignorant!). My son is negative and 18 years old. I have a good friend that is an OBGYN and it is very easy to have a baby without passing the virus - the chance is less than 2%. HIV negative woman have higher chances of having babies with other ailments. Please do not despair and find doctors who can give you better information!
BTW - SWM stands for "super"woman not single white male...lol
Just a play on acronyms :)
Diagnosed 1995 infected 8/1993

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,937
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #19 on: March 02, 2013, 05:17:18 PM »
Hi PH

I can't add anymore to what the ladies have already said, I live in NZ so I'm always late to the party, I just wanted to say never say never, and never give up on your dreams.

There is a man out there just waiting for you to walk into his life and when that happens you can start making babies..just think of the fun you'll have doing that.... ;D

Aroha
Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline uchuba

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: Will I ever be a mom?
« Reply #20 on: March 03, 2013, 12:44:57 AM »
HI AM POS NOW FOR 25 YRS AND I HAVE SIX KIDS WHO ARE NON INFECTED . BY THE GRACE OF GOD NOT ME. JUST PRAY AND ALLOW GOD TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION FOR YOU.. AM NOT A DOCTOR OR THE BEST PERSON TO TELL YOU HOW AND WHAT TO DO BUT THERE ARE SITE FOR US JUST BECAREFUL ON THEM. I'LL KEEP YOU IN PRAYER...... GOD BLESS YOU....
UCHUBA

 


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