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Sex life with HIV+ boyfriend

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songs06:
at first, i was dealing with the same matter. i am hiv positive. my boyfriend was afraid at first but he got over it too quickly. he read studies and all the info about healthy sexual life. i am still afraid of getting him hiv, because it would be too much guilt to bear. but after one month, we started to do anal sex. i am not on meds, not undetectable at all. (look at my signature) but we used condoms (special maximum protective ones) and we saw it is the only thing you should do. why are you so afraid of, condom break? if you use a good lube and good condom, it is almost not possible. so there is no need to kill your sex life, or turn it to a fantasy masturbation periods. you can do whatever you want as long as you use condoms.
UD blood viral load doesn't mean UD semen viral load, but it is highly unlikely, because HIV like CD4 cells, which is mostly in blood. but mucosal parts of the body, and central nervous system have CD4 cells as well. semen viral load mostly lower than blood VL, if your BF is UD like years, i don't think his semen VL is high. and this is the scenario for condom break! and if condom break, of course you can realize it before ejaculation and change it.

so i think you can ignore this minimum chance. it is almost impossible. people have children with unprotected vaginal sex when they are UD for years.

alejofm05:
Thanks everyone for your responses. lpd19852001 if you don't mind me asking, how frequently are you guys having sex? it has been 3 weeks since we last had sex, granted it has been difficult for us to spend time together this month since it's the craziest month of the year for him, he is working now 7 days a week. Things should go back to normal at work next week.

songs06 if I read correctly you have been positive for 3 months now? Were you guys already together with a healthy sex life before your positive status? maybe that helped you guys a little bit. Are you seeking professional help? I'm really interested in knowing how are you approaching the situation. thanks!

devilnuts:
Hi Ale! I have a somewhat similar situation and even though we have not had sexual relations yet (due to distance) I have a similar situation. What has really worked for us so far is communication. We have both communicated our fears and expectations. What we want and how we can acheive that. Luckily we were on the same page so there wasn't much we had to negotiate on. Perhaps if you tell him how you feel about it and have an open and honest conversation about what he feels, then you can have a healthy sex life. I know that my partner and I will have quite the sex life when he relocates. We have come to an agreement that neither one should ever feel afraid of the other. I don't want him to ever be afraid of infecting me and he doesn't want me to ever feel afraid of being infected by him. Just having that kind of dialogue can go a loooooooong way.

Just my $0.02. :-)

Rod Dan:
Hi Ale,
My situation is the opposite.  I was not lucky enough to find someone who is so honest about their status.  But it may help for you to know that I have had unprotected sex with him for almost 2 years and had his baby and I have tested negative in total 8 times.  I was tested 3 times during my pregnancy before I even knew his status and then once I discovered he was hiv+ had 3 antibody, 1 antigen and 1 pcr test that were all negative...
You're very lucky to have someone who cared enough to inform you and try to protect your heart, body and mind.

Rockin:

--- Quote from: devilnuts on December 02, 2012, 07:14:32 AM ---Hi Ale! I have a somewhat similar situation and even though we have not had sexual relations yet (due to distance) I have a similar situation. What has really worked for us so far is communication. We have both communicated our fears and expectations. What we want and how we can acheive that. Luckily we were on the same page so there wasn't much we had to negotiate on. Perhaps if you tell him how you feel about it and have an open and honest conversation about what he feels, then you can have a healthy sex life. I know that my partner and I will have quite the sex life when he relocates. We have come to an agreement that neither one should ever feel afraid of the other. I don't want him to ever be afraid of infecting me and he doesn't want me to ever feel afraid of being infected by him. Just having that kind of dialogue can go a loooooooong way.

Just my $0.02. :-)

--- End quote ---

I can only hope that one day I can find someone like you.

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