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Author Topic: Need assurance.  (Read 2669 times)

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Offline Pino32

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Need assurance.
« on: November 07, 2008, 02:15:36 PM »
Hi
Went to a male escort, he gave me a body massage with baby oil and then a happy ending! i.e hand job with loads of lube. Couldn't see if he had any blood on his hands or not ! We didn't kiss , I didn't touch him, there was no anal sex or passing of fluids apart from when I came over his hand! That was two weeks back.

I had an HIV test after one week, that was negative. I have spoken to several professionals since, all saying that I had zero risk and that I should just get on with my life. This is difficult, I am scared to have sex with my partner in case I have HIV. I am showing no signs, except some weight loss, and that's cos I am not eating well due to the anxiety, which is going round and round my head. My smoking has gone through the roof and the only time I am happy is when I sleep...!

I am paranoid that the escort may have infected me on purpose somehow...allthough I called him and he said he is tested regularly and that 'if' there was any blood there would have had to have been loads and he would have had to stick it up my anus ! which he didn't. He apologised for causing me so much anxiety.

Could someone confirm the following:
1/Should I have a duo test at 28 days? if so, is this reliable?
2/Should I have a normal test at 12 weeks? and hope for the best (more conclusive, I guess)
3/ Am I getting a compulsive disorder, cos the thought of having HIV doesn't go out of my head.

Just looking forward to getting some normality in my life and NEVER getting into this damn situation again....


Offline RapidRod

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Re: HIV from handjob
« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2008, 02:34:00 PM »
You don't need any kind of test. HIV is not transmitted via a handjob or any other type of masturbation.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: HIV from handjob
« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2008, 04:13:32 PM »
Even if the guy's hands had been dripping with HIV+ blood and semen, it still wouldn't have been a risky incident. HIV is passed in very particular ways sexually: unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. The rest is strictly theoretical.

Like many partners who go straying, this is really all about guilt and not any real risk for transmission. Give yourself a break, take a breath and let it go. There's no need for testing whatsoever. Period. End of story.
Andy Velez

Offline Pino32

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Re: HIV from handjob
« Reply #3 on: November 12, 2008, 02:22:24 PM »
Thank you for your messages.
As mentioned I have been to the local STD clinic twice now and both times the DR said I was crazy to ask for a test.
I have also spoken to an HIV help line who have advised that I dont need a test and I should move on with my life.
However my mind will not be at peace until I have a test, I am going for a duo test at 28 days. Do you think I am being paranoid. Even for this, a false positive would give me a heart attack!
Only signs I am showing is a bit of a swolen groin! and have lost 4 kilos in two weeks, however I think this is stress.. I am not eating like I used to and am worrying myself silly. I just see images of me being poz and the whole world alienating me.
Please reassure me... thanks so much.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: HIV from handjob
« Reply #4 on: November 12, 2008, 02:30:35 PM »
There is absolutely no need for taking an HIV test. None whatsoever.

Hopefully the inevitable negative result will allow you to let go of this totally self-induced fear.

Are you new to having sex with another guy? I can't help wondering if that's what has stirred up all this unwarranted anxiety. Because you have no reason in terms of HIV science to be concerned.

As for your so-called symptoms -- right now you're head is misinterpreting everything that happens or doesn't happen to you as another confirmation of your worst fears.

This is not an HIV situation. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline Pino32

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Re: HIV from handjob
« Reply #5 on: November 12, 2008, 02:54:12 PM »
Cheers Andy, just those few words have reassured me.
I will still go for the test in 10 long days time.
If HIV doesnt get me, the alcohol and ciggerettes that I am currently consuming will!

Hopefully it will be -ve and from that point I will resume my usual cheerful life, if not, accept the inevitable and still live a cheerful life !

Either way, I have learnt a lesson...its not about who you have sex with, but about being faithful and truthful to your partner.

Also, there are people in far worse situations than me in life and that HIV is no longer the death sentence it used to be. I have great admiration for all those living with this virus.

Thanks again, for your time and advice... much appreciated.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: HIV from handjob
« Reply #6 on: November 12, 2008, 03:22:30 PM »
OK, so you're not new to sex with men, that is if I am correct in assuming your partner is a guy.

In that case you maybe suffering the very common pangs of having strayed. That guilt stuff can do you in and make you really nutz. If I'm right about it, accept what you did, take a breath and let it go. You didn't do anything risky.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Pino32

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Need assurance.
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2010, 12:56:45 AM »
Hello.
Please help.

I have had the below HIV tests post one time 'minimal risk exposure'.

1- Rapid HIV test 1 week post exposure- NEGATIVE
2- 28 DUO test - NEGATIVE
3- 4month Determine Rapid test - NEGATIVE
4- 12 month Determine Rapid test - NEGATIVE
 
I know I should now consider myself as negative. However yesterday my pregnant wife was told that her HIV test was rejected due to insufficient specimen, they have asked her to test again. Am I now just putting 2 + 2 together and becoming paranoid, somehow , I have convinced myself that the hospital have recieved an indetermined result and want to check again and that my tests were not conclusive.

Science would tell me all is well, a crazy mind tells me that things could go wrong !!!

Please help!

Regards,
Peenal.


Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Need assurance.
« Reply #8 on: January 21, 2010, 01:05:50 AM »
Peenal,

Please keep all your thoughts questions and comments in your original thread. This helps us follow your story and give you the most accurate advice.

If you cannot find your original thread, please click the red link I have posted above. Alternatively you can use the "Show own posts" thread which appears in the uppermost left hand column on any forum page.

Your questions will not be answered unless you return to your original thread.

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and familiarise yourself with the posting guidelines.

MtD

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Need assurance.
« Reply #9 on: January 21, 2010, 05:19:13 AM »
Pino,

I've merged your threads. As Matty mentioned, we need you to keep all your questions in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you've been here or if it's about a new subject. Stay in one thread. Thank you for your cooperation.




You're putting two and two together and getting five million. Insufficient specimen means they didn't get enough blood to test. Nothing more, nothing less. YOU do not have hiv. Even if your wife does turn out to be hiv positive, she didn't get it from you because you are more than conclusively hiv negative. What you originally brought to us wasn't even a risk in the first place. 

YOU DO NOT HAVE HIV!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Pino32

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  • Posts: 7
Re: Need assurance.
« Reply #10 on: January 22, 2010, 01:22:51 PM »
 ;D wow that is reassuring.  ok, one more question.

you see my mind starts doubting the tests: why is one negative rapid test sufficient, why arent two done to ensure it is correct?
Is a negative rapid test more conclusive than a positive one?

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Need assurance.
« Reply #11 on: January 22, 2010, 01:27:09 PM »
The only time a test is repeated is if the previous result was inconclusive or positive. A positive result is always checked to be certain. As long as the test is taken at the appropriate time there is no problem with false negatives. But occasionally because of problems at the lab or other reasons there can be a false positive. Hence the need for confirmation of a positive.

I can tell you that you are on a fast track to get a 28 day Time Out for returning here for your "just one more" when you are HIV negative.


Give it up and get on with your life. It's hard to even follow your questions because you are so obviously caught up in what ifs and maybes. Give it up and get on with your life. Really.

« Last Edit: January 22, 2010, 01:29:26 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline Pino32

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  • Posts: 7
Re: Need assurance.
« Reply #12 on: January 22, 2010, 01:46:44 PM »
Andy et al,
I admire you patience and will now take your advice and move on. As always. Thank you.
I am a hypocondriac... even my Dr refuses to see me sometimes. Can't be helped though.
Best wishes and sorry for the hassle.
Pino :)

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Need assurance.
« Reply #13 on: January 22, 2010, 02:57:00 PM »
Pino,

"Can't be helped"? Yes, it can. Talk to your doctor and ask for a referral to a counsellor or therapist who can help you with your hypochondria. From what you say (doctor refuses to see you sometimes) I'm sure he'd be glad to help. We cannot help you with your hypochondria here and if you persist with the whatiffs, you WILL be given a time out. In fact, don't even bother responding to this post.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Pino32

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Need assurance.
« Reply #14 on: May 20, 2012, 04:16:48 PM »
Hello!
Ok , i have strayed again, after 2 years of behaving myself.
Had a naked rubbing session with gay male escort. No anal or oral sex.
Do I need an HIV test or am I being paranoid?
Thanks 4 your advice!
Cheers
P.

Offline Matty the Damned

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  • Posts: 12,198
  • Ninja Please
Re: Need assurance.
« Reply #15 on: May 20, 2012, 04:23:03 PM »
Hello!
Ok , i have strayed again, after 2 years of behaving myself.
Had a naked rubbing session with gay male escort. No anal or oral sex.
Do I need an HIV test or am I being paranoid?
Thanks 4 your advice!
Cheers
P.

Pino,

HIV is a fragile virus, it is transmitted in very particular ways. Those ways are:

Unprotected vaginal and anal sex;
Sharing contaminated injecting equipment such as needles and syringes;
In some cases from HIV positive mother to her unborn or nursing infant.

You cannot contract HIV from frottage (rubbing). Before you start with all your crazy shit again, let me warn you -- you won't be allowed to ask endless questions about NON RISK situations. Check out the Welcome Thread and take heed of the posting guidelines.

MtD

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Need assurance.
« Reply #16 on: May 20, 2012, 04:24:40 PM »
Hello!
Ok , i have strayed again, after 2 years of behaving myself.
Had a naked rubbing session with gay male escort. No anal or oral sex.
Do I need an HIV test or am I being paranoid?
Thanks 4 your advice!
Cheers
P.

As you must know by now, no anal or oral sex = NO RISK for HIV.

We're really not a great confessional booth here at AIDSMEDS. We're not going to pass judgment on your actions and we get mighty prickly when a person even insinuates that HIV is some sort of punishment for sin.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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