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Author Topic: Condom slip please please help  (Read 2543 times)

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Offline Afraidsoul

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  • Posts: 9
Condom slip please please help
« on: May 18, 2012, 11:16:18 AM »
Hello. Please gelp me as i am really nervous abd your comments will really guide me. Yest i was with a csw and ahe was looking in a lot o hurry to finish the job and finish. The lady was from russia. We started the sex as she rubbed durex play and put a condom for me and we started sex and i went doggy atyle and noted the condom half way on my penis and held it. Then i lied for a while she was on top and i think within a minute she got a call so she got up and answered it an i was flacid with a drop of cum. I noted that the condom was on the side of bed an i asked how it came off she then said that when she got to answer her call she saw me flavidand condome just on tip on my penis and she just took and threw on aide with intention to put new. I hadalot of drinks thogh i remeber most of it just this part i dint realise that she threw. Now i am really paranoid and scared and think i was exposed. She showed me some result in turkish which she says that is a neg hiv result which she took a month ago but the way she had attitude i dont trust her. Anyways i really beg for help and your professional views about the chances

Thanks alot
Nathani

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2012, 12:31:42 PM »
Nathani, basically this is about what if fears and nothing really definite in terms of risk. The fact that the sexworker was using a condom to begin with is an indication that she plays safe. Her description of how she took it off and then was ready to put a fresh one on sounds very plausible to me.

The important thing is that the head of your penis was covered during intercourse.

I don't see this as  having been a risky situation nor is there any need for testing.

The red flag in the situation to me is that you had been drinking excessively. Mixing casual sex and a lot of drinking is a bad combination and one that you should avoid in the future.

Otherwise I don't see this as having been a risky situation.
Andy Velez

Offline Afraidsoul

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2012, 01:02:57 PM »
Dear Andy

Really appreciate your quick response.thanks a lot.

The problem is I don't remember if I wan exposed while inside. If I would be it would be for a very very short time.

She frankly was not at all concerned just that she got a call and left in half to take the call. So I don't know that my condom slipped while in her or was on my falcid ytip and she took and threw on side.

What are the chances of very less time of exposure if any.

Thanks
Nathani

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2012, 01:44:28 PM »
Well IF you were exposed, and frankly I don't think that happened, but IF it happened it was a very brief, one-time possible exposure. The condom would have protected you until it slipped off. And HIV is significantly harder to transmit from female to male than the other way around.

If you are going to continue to worry about this, the simple solution is to get tested. You can do that initially at 6 weeks after the incident. Assuming the result is negative as I expect it will be, then your conclusive negative result at 3 months will in all likelihood continue to be negative.

This is really more about what ifs than a for real risk, but if you need to test for your peace of mind then by all means do that and put an end to worrying.
Andy Velez

Offline Afraidsoul

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Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2012, 03:07:55 PM »
Dear Andy

Believe me if I had seen condom on myself I wouldn't be so scared. I dint see and  I dint realise.I definately dint cum just a was abt to but then whole episode stopped. So She says she removed it off me but my prob is I just don't remember that 1-1.5 minutes I dunno y rest I remember. Thou I definately dint see her trying to remove it from her self so am sure was not in her.

Regards
Nathani

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2012, 06:20:43 PM »
Whether you came or not is totally irrelevant in terms of potential risk.

It sounds like you are very bothered by the uncertainty. So perhaps the only solution is to get tested at 6 weeks. Assuming you test negative at that point as I am expecting you to, then it will be even more likely you will test negative at 3 months.

That's really all I can say at this point in resolving your concern.
Andy Velez

Offline Afraidsoul

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #6 on: May 20, 2012, 04:14:17 PM »
Dear andy

I am trying to keep my mind of this incident but it keeps crossing my mond. I am uncircumcised so does that increases possibilities if exposed and by how much %.

Thanks

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #7 on: May 20, 2012, 04:26:34 PM »
Dear andy

I am trying to keep my mind of this incident but it keeps crossing my mond. I am uncircumcised so does that increases possibilities if exposed and by how much %.

Thanks

Nathani,

I agree with Andy, so long as the head of your cock was covered there was no HIV risk. If you can't be sure or you're all panicky or whatever then go and get tested for HIV 3 months from the date of this encounter.

Uncircumcised males are more prone to infection through insertive anal or vaginal sex than circumcised males but it's not as great a difference as some people think. We're not going to get into a percentages game with you about this.

If you're worried, get tested.

Also take the time to check out our Welcome Thread.

MtD

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #8 on: May 20, 2012, 04:27:02 PM »
Dear andy

I am trying to keep my mind of this incident but it keeps crossing my mond. I am uncircumcised so does that increases possibilities if exposed and by how much %.

Thanks

There is really no way to accurately quantify your risk. As ANN often says, "how long is a piece of string?"

If you are nervous, the by all means get an HIV test in six weeks. I honestly don't think there was a risk, and perhaps you are mistaking your guilt and shame for legitimate medical worry.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Afraidsoul

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #9 on: May 20, 2012, 04:32:28 PM »
Dear

I am really trying to stay away from the thoughts but some times anxiety toll takes over. I am just not sure as i dont remember that moments thts why i am askibg. Yes also this is a fact that guilt is eatibg me as i am not into paid sex but i slipped and i so wish i had not and have sweared that will never pay for sex nor induldge with unknown ppl.

I am sorry to ask % but just like i said anxiety is killing and i run to youll for support like all others. Again if i had pulled out that condom with my own hands i would never be scared.

:(

Regards
Nathani

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2012, 04:34:54 PM »
Dear

I am really trying to stay away from the thoughts but some times anxiety toll takes over. I am just not sure as i dont remember that moments thts why i am askibg. Yes also this is a fact that guilt is eatibg me as i am not into paid sex but i slipped and i so wish i had not and have sweared that will never pay for sex nor induldge with unknown ppl.

I am sorry to ask % but just like i said anxiety is killing and i run to youll for support like all others. Again if i had pulled out that condom with my own hands i would never be scared.

:(

Regards
Nathani

Your problem isn't HIV it's guilt because you think you did something wrong. We cannot help you with your guilt.

Trawling the internet for percentages. statistics and numbers will not make you feel better. It only make you more anxious and concerned. Trust me, we've seen this eleventy-squillion times before.

If you're worried, get tested.

MtD

Offline Afraidsoul

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #11 on: May 21, 2012, 02:24:31 AM »
Dear Matty

Thanks for your reply. matty i am not looking around the net the oly place that i am seeking help is here as i 100% trust and believe the expertise and experience of the moderators here as i have been following this site for many years now. yes definately guilt is always a factor of wrong doing my but i am more afraid that i have no memory of that particular moment of what happened. i remeber every thing from start. just that 5-10 seconds is like wiped off my memory and the next thing i remember is that the condom was on the side of the bed and anxiety is creeping in thats all. i am so with andy on the excessive drinking and induldging in a behaviour of sex with unknown (wether csw or not). and taking all your suggestions yes i will definately test at 6 weeks to put my mind at ease.

Thanks.
Nathani

Offline Afraidsoul

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #12 on: May 26, 2012, 07:18:18 AM »
Dear

Sorry to be back again. Is been 9 days now and i tried to avoid the thoughts but today am feeling very tired lil body ace with slight cold. Dont have fever but think am coming down with it. Please help could this be ars. Am very afraid. :(

Offline Ann

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  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #13 on: May 26, 2012, 07:29:45 AM »
Afraid,

Why would it be ARS when you didn't have a risk? You need to understand that sex workers use condoms to protect themselves - not you. She wouldn't have had unprotected sex with you without at least asking for a lot more money.

The testing you are thinking of doing will only be for your peace of mind.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Afraidsoul

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #14 on: May 29, 2012, 07:16:01 PM »
Dear Ann

I am sorry if i offended the rules of the forum as i dont mean to.
I am really trying to keep away but when things happen i am going mad. Today 12th day i am down with fever between 99.5 and 100.5 woth body ache. I am really scared and dont know what to do. I really feel like crying over the silly mistake i have made. Please help

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #15 on: May 29, 2012, 08:39:56 PM »
Dear Ann

I am sorry if i offended the rules of the forum as i dont mean to.
I am really trying to keep away but when things happen i am going mad. Today 12th day i am down with fever between 99.5 and 100.5 woth body ache. I am really scared and dont know what to do. I really feel like crying over the silly mistake i have made. Please help


Forgive me for being blunt, but the silly mistake you've made is assuming that an HIV situation exists when it clearly does not.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Afraidsoul

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #16 on: May 31, 2012, 01:45:39 AM »
dear Jkintal

Thanks for your response. Jkintal i swear my mind is totally with what ever you , Ann and Andy say. its my heart which opposes and i had fever which lasted for a day with night sweats and feeling cold. i live in the land of desert and no chance to feel cold here as the temp easily crosses 40 degrees. i also hope that i am in a no risk situation. can this fever whih lasted to 1 day but would go away when i took med by any chance be ARS.

Thanks:(

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Condom slip please please help
« Reply #17 on: May 31, 2012, 07:02:06 AM »
Afraid,

Again, how could it be ARS when you did NOT have a risk?

I'm giving you that time out I warned you about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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