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Author Topic: Becoming Human Again  (Read 1393 times)

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Offline Maestro

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  • Posts: 225
Becoming Human Again
« on: September 29, 2006, 08:03:07 AM »
Just took my Uncle out for dinner last night.  I got to say, he is like a new person.  It was easy to lose track of him as human being.  Any time we saw him something new was wrong with him.  And all he would talk about would be medications or problems.  He was losing his identity as a person. 

Last night, he was lucid, talked about normal things.  Expressed interest in joining a gym one day and working out.  All very positive thoughts.  No falling asleep in his chair.  He has also cut WAY back on hin pain killers.  He is just taking something for PN and thats it. 

It is tough for us to stay positive.  With the luck we have had so far, I almost feel like now that he has turned a corner, something new will pop up!  However, we will keep our fingers crossed. 

Keeping you up to date,

Maestro

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Becoming Human Again
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2006, 08:20:16 AM »
Maestro, I'm glad your uncle was in better shape last night.

But I also can't help wondering what more of the story is about in terms of his history.

Wondering,
Andy Velez

Offline Maestro

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  • Posts: 225
Re: Becoming Human Again
« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2006, 08:30:55 AM »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Becoming Human Again
« Reply #3 on: September 29, 2006, 10:24:17 AM »
Thanks, Maestro. I had looked for previous threads but that very impressive one didn't come up. (Maybe I am having a touch of fogbrain this morning.)


This is obviously a very tough journey you're on with your uncle. You are what a friend of mine calls "an angel" in this very challenging situation.

From my experience there is no way to predict the course of what is happening. Which requires such powers of patience and endurance from all concerned. What is clear is that your uncle has gotten to a better place for now. I've seen that before. Hopefully the quality of this time will endure for a while. I've seen people make amazing comebacks.

As for his not referring to your late uncle, that may be protection on his part. ....His way of coping and concentrating on staying alive and living as well as possible. Sad but understandable. Even when he's being quiet your supportive presence and talking with him is nurturing for him. He may surprise you from time to time with how with it he actually is.

What I would urge is that you make sure YOU have good support in your own life while dealing with this physically and emotionally exhausting experience.

As you can already tell this is a sympatico place for you to come to and you're always welcome here to ask questions or to discuss anything that's on your mind.


Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline Iggy

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  • Posts: 2,435
Re: Becoming Human Again
« Reply #4 on: September 29, 2006, 10:26:11 AM »
.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2007, 08:48:03 PM by Iggy »

Offline Maestro

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  • Posts: 225
Re: Becoming Human Again
« Reply #5 on: September 29, 2006, 11:02:02 AM »
Iggy,

I wasn't referring to just the meds situation.  It was more of my own point of view.  For the last 3+months I have had to deal with bills, mail, houses, internet accounts, passwords, insurance companies, air ambulances, hospitals, doctors, pills, personal assistants, corporate housing, and more.  I was just pointing out that with all these tasks I have had to take on for him, he sometimes became more a chore than a person.  At last nights dinner, we didn't discuss or deal with any of those things and just had dinner and some nice conversation.

I realize it is healthy and important for him to talk about meds.  But we are talking about a borderline addict here.  I wasn't talking about the HAART meds.  When I brought over his satchel of pills, you should have seen his eyes light up.  Then he coddled the pills like someone would a child.  And spent the next 20 minutes zoned out not listening to anyone just examining thoroughly each pill bottle.

I am sorry if I appeared to trivialize what anyone is going through.  I know it is tough. 

Regards,
Maestro

Offline Iggy

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Re: Becoming Human Again
« Reply #6 on: September 29, 2006, 11:10:21 AM »
.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2007, 08:46:35 PM by Iggy »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Becoming Human Again
« Reply #7 on: September 29, 2006, 11:11:25 AM »
Maestro, I don't see that you have any cause to be apologetic. Anyone who's ever lived through this kind of situation with someone would know how absolutely overwhelming and tough it can be.

You're doing the best you can. Angels can do no more.

And this is a place where you can feel free to say it how you see it. Which in itself is a great relief. I am not going to make any attempt to evaluate whether your uncle is an addict or whatever. He's getting through the best he can too.

From what you have written some real progress has been made in bringing him back slowly to a better life again. So whatever you and all those involved are doing is working.

Press on is what I say.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline IzPoz

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  • God, grant me the serenity...
Re: Becoming Human Again
« Reply #8 on: September 29, 2006, 07:02:33 PM »
Maestro,

Having been where you are now, all I can say is you are doing a good job, and even your best is better than what he could have without you.  It's wonderful that he was having a lucid night, and I hope that the trend continues.  Try not to look around the corner though... enjoy the moment that you have while he's as good as he is.

And like others have said before, have a good support system for YOU as well.

Be well, and remember to take care of yourself too.  If you don't, how can you take care of others if you are out for the count?

Big hugs your way!
The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly. ~ Chesterton G. K.

Offline Eldon

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Re: Becoming Human Again
« Reply #9 on: September 29, 2006, 07:34:28 PM »
Hello Maestro, it is Eldon.

I just wanted to pop in on the conversation to let you know that you are doing a wonderful job with your uncle and I truly believe that he recognizes it. It is also a good thing or should I say a positive thing that your dinner and conversation went well last evening.

Just hold on tight and keep doing what you have been doing for him and do your BEST to maintain your support system as well.


Make the BEST of each Day!

 


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