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Author Topic: Drunk threesome incident (condom switching, unprotected oral)  (Read 4884 times)

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Offline lemonlemon

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I had a threesome about 4 weeks ago. I was kind of intoxicated and it was a bit out of character. I wouldn't think more about it unless it was in a location and a group of people I know have an exceptionally high infection rate. But it's not about who but how so lets come to that.

It was protected (as far as I can tell) vaginal intercourse with a switching of condom in the middle. I had no control over how this was done. But as I went in again there was a new condom on. It then ended with a pretty rough unprotected blowjob/handjob. The day after I found some nicks and cuts on my penis.

I have felt a lot anxiety about this and have had real or perceived symptoms. I must admit my stress and anxiety level esp. during week 3-4 have been off the charts so I wouldn't be surprised if what I have felt physically was because of that. So what is your evaluation of my HIV risk specifically (I know there is a general STI risk I have to look into after this).


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Drunk threesome incident (condom switching, unprotected oral)
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2012, 09:53:15 PM »
As long as you are certain condoms were used consistently for intercourse then you were well protected against HIV. Nothing else you have reported of your activities would be a risk for HIV.

You seem to understand that other STDs are much easier to acquire than HIV. So if you have any doubts or symptoms, having a full STD panel done can answer regarding other STDs.

It is a real red flag that you had been drinking so much you have found yourself wondering what all happened. Mixing excessive drinking and casual sex is something to be avoided in the future. You can have all the sex you want. Just do it the safer way which means always using condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse and doing it as soberly as possible.

I don't see any need for HIV testing.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Drunk threesome incident (condom switching, unprotected oral)
« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2012, 06:03:28 AM »

Lucky you! You got to live out the fantasy that many men can only dream of - you were the middle of a sexual sandwich. Kudos!

And guess what - those women knew what they were doing and made sure that you had a condom on and not only that, but they changed the condom for you when you went from one to the other.

Wearing a condom when anal or vaginal penetration is involved is what's important here. Neither getting a blowjob nor a handjob are risks for hiv infection, so you're ok.

You're smart to realise that you may have been at risk for some of the other, MUCH more easily transmitted STIs, but you were NOT at risk for hiv. Hiv is a very difficult to transmit virus, thankfully. Please be aware that some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

You should be having yearly, routine sexual health check ups anyway. That's what responsible, sexually active adults do to protect themselves and their partners.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY OVER THIS THREESOME, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline lemonlemon

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Re: Drunk threesome incident (condom switching, unprotected oral)
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2012, 04:22:12 AM »
Thanks guys, hope you wont see me again :) You're doing super work here btw. Keep it up!

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Drunk threesome incident (condom switching, unprotected oral)
« Reply #4 on: April 25, 2012, 04:30:05 AM »
Thanks guys, hope you wont see me again :) You're doing super work here btw. Keep it up!

Thanks for the kind words! We hear so few :)

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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