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Author Topic: 2 times positive  (Read 6749 times)

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Offline songs06

  • Member
  • Posts: 114
2 times positive
« on: April 15, 2012, 03:09:55 PM »
hi. i've just tested positive twice. first one was yesterday and it was hiv elisa (anti hiv 1-2 i guess) and it was 750. doctor told me it s a high number and it s probably true. then today i went to another clinic and tested again and it was 18 three times. it is huge gap between 750 and 18 but second doctor told me it might be false positive despite the first one.

and i also have mononucleosis like syndrome since 15 days. lots of LAPs, mild fever, splenomegaly, tonsillitis etc... and i have one anal encounter with a guy without condom almost 3 weeks ago. it is quite complicated i guess.

i think i m positive but still i have a little hope that western blot will turn out negative. because i used some medicine lately, and i have some other viral infection probably? or maybe all this is just a false hope. i am 26 years old and live in poland.

my life will change so much, i just can't imagine.  :(

do you think there is any chance still about "false positivity" or should i accept that i have "hiv" already. what do you think?
18.03.2012 - infected.
14.04.2012 - first positive elisa - UD western blot
30.04.2012 - western blot confirmation positive
03.05.2012 - first lab- CD4: 256   VL: 2.3 M
01.06.2012 - sec lab- CD4: 390 (end of ARS)
01.07.2012 - third lab- CD4: 388 VL: 150.000
11.07.2012 - Started Truvada + Kaletra
04.08.2012 - CD4: 401 VL: 3800
30.09.2012 - CD4: 510 VL: 709
04.01.2013 - CD4: 650 VL: UD! (aka 20)
01.04.2013 - CD4: 460 VL: UD
09.2013 - CD4: 510
02.2014 - CD4: 490

Offline songs06

  • Member
  • Posts: 114
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2012, 03:16:59 AM »
nobody wants to comment means that i'm positive i guess...

well anyway, i m gonna tell you my western blot result, and i hope i can make some friends here. because i am too depressed and i couldn't tell anybody :(
18.03.2012 - infected.
14.04.2012 - first positive elisa - UD western blot
30.04.2012 - western blot confirmation positive
03.05.2012 - first lab- CD4: 256   VL: 2.3 M
01.06.2012 - sec lab- CD4: 390 (end of ARS)
01.07.2012 - third lab- CD4: 388 VL: 150.000
11.07.2012 - Started Truvada + Kaletra
04.08.2012 - CD4: 401 VL: 3800
30.09.2012 - CD4: 510 VL: 709
04.01.2013 - CD4: 650 VL: UD! (aka 20)
01.04.2013 - CD4: 460 VL: UD
09.2013 - CD4: 510
02.2014 - CD4: 490

Offline Ann

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  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2012, 06:55:58 AM »
Songs,

Nobody commented because Sundays can be a bit quiet around here.

You do need to have further testing - the Western Blot - before you can know for sure if you're hiv positive or hiv negative.

It might be that you had a false positive - or it might be that you've simply tested too early. You have had a risk and you absolutely do need further testing. Any positive antibody result MUST be confirmed with a positive Western Blot before you can be considered to have been diagnosed with hiv.

Any medications you've taken or other viral illnesses will not interfere with your hiv test results.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. If I'm reading you correctly, you tested not quite three weeks after your risk. This is too soon.

If you do get a negative Western Blot, you will still need to confirm your negative status at the three month point after your risk.

Good luck with your additional tests, and keep us posted. Hang in there, this could go either way.

Ann
« Last Edit: April 16, 2012, 06:58:58 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline songs06

  • Member
  • Posts: 114
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2012, 01:40:22 PM »
my western blot result came mildly positive.
Gp 160, p51\52 and p24/25 proteins are mildly positive. (and my p24 ag is negative also?) this is very confusing.

Am i having acute seroconversion?  Or is there a stil chance this is false positive. What should i do? İ dont want to wait. i am 26 years old and i want to start meds as soon as i can because i want to live longer.

i am feeling hugely depressed. How can any of this could be real?
18.03.2012 - infected.
14.04.2012 - first positive elisa - UD western blot
30.04.2012 - western blot confirmation positive
03.05.2012 - first lab- CD4: 256   VL: 2.3 M
01.06.2012 - sec lab- CD4: 390 (end of ARS)
01.07.2012 - third lab- CD4: 388 VL: 150.000
11.07.2012 - Started Truvada + Kaletra
04.08.2012 - CD4: 401 VL: 3800
30.09.2012 - CD4: 510 VL: 709
04.01.2013 - CD4: 650 VL: UD! (aka 20)
01.04.2013 - CD4: 460 VL: UD
09.2013 - CD4: 510
02.2014 - CD4: 490

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2012, 05:36:42 PM »
Song,

You might well be dealing with primary infection. You could also be dealing with a false positive.

Unfortunately, there are no short-cuts to hiv testing. Sorry, that's just the way it is.

You're testing far too early. You should wait until six weeks have passed since your last incidence of unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse and test again.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline songs06

  • Member
  • Posts: 114
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2012, 11:21:25 AM »
my new western blot finally turned positive :((
All hopes lost. Now there is a long road to go, tons of tests to do...
18.03.2012 - infected.
14.04.2012 - first positive elisa - UD western blot
30.04.2012 - western blot confirmation positive
03.05.2012 - first lab- CD4: 256   VL: 2.3 M
01.06.2012 - sec lab- CD4: 390 (end of ARS)
01.07.2012 - third lab- CD4: 388 VL: 150.000
11.07.2012 - Started Truvada + Kaletra
04.08.2012 - CD4: 401 VL: 3800
30.09.2012 - CD4: 510 VL: 709
04.01.2013 - CD4: 650 VL: UD! (aka 20)
01.04.2013 - CD4: 460 VL: UD
09.2013 - CD4: 510
02.2014 - CD4: 490

Offline Lad_Liam

  • Member
  • Posts: 56
  • it's a hitchhiker, not a hijacker
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #6 on: May 01, 2012, 10:22:33 AM »
Hi songs,
sorry to hear the news. You are not alone though, and now is no time to be giving up hope. The stories on this site from other supportive orgs all suggest ideas like I've listed below as great ways to help cope and adapt to this news.  They said the first thing is to get mental health sorted, to manage the shock and adapt to the news and any feelings it brings for you. Hook in with medical care, which you seem to Have already done. The other tips I noted were

* deal with one thing at a time
* get support, in safe places that can handle this topic and your privacy ( like here, or if available at local or nearby HIV services where u live)
* Deal with your mental health first, adapt to this news so you can be strong in the future and make good decisions
* excerciese and eat well. Both make you happy n fit. Start now.
* Find out all the info you can from reliable sources
* cry to let out the bad emotional build ups. It releases them. It helps.
* coping strategies to handle the headspace issues are needed. Counsellors or phycs can help with this. Some HIV or health support services have counselling available.

I'm not a counsellor or anything myself. I'm in the same situation you were a few weeks back. I have 2 tests, each reactive on antibody and on blot, but lab says look like a brand new case so need to re test. But they say it's more likely to be positive based on the blot.

I get my confirmation test back next Thursday. I do not look forward to going to even Give The blood in two days time, let alone turn up a week later to get the result.

so you have already done such a brave brave thing by facing this process and doing what had to be done. Even tho it's hard, you went back.  good for you. Keep going back to the drs, that's what everyone writes here, they are your partner to beat the bug.

So my thoughts and heart is with you now, song. Thanks for sharing your story and I hope you feel some support from the content and people here. The first 2 weeks after I got my first result were awful. Like you I wished it was a false alarm, and was very very depressed instantly. Since then however, I contacted a support agency and just by having someone who is informed about the topic wh i can to talk to over the phone has been so helpful to me already. Getting help works, this is big news and needs to be handled well for your own sake.

Good luck, and remember to hold on to the hope
« Last Edit: May 01, 2012, 10:31:41 AM by Lad_Liam »
a new dark passenger joins the ride

Offline HereIAm

  • Member
  • Posts: 68
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #7 on: May 01, 2012, 03:51:08 PM »
Dear Songs,

Welcome to the forums.  I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis. This will for you, like all of us, take some getting used to. But, there is hope and there is absolutely no reason why this virus needs to run your life. You decide what you want to do with your life and do it, virus be damned!

If you have not done so already I would recommend you look at the area on poz.com that is titled "I just tested Poz" or something like that.  There is good and credible information there.

Also, find a doctor you can speak with, trust and who sees quite a few patients regularly with HIV. These things will help you.

Regards,

Auntie Here
Tested Positive 10 Sept 2008.
24 Sept 2008:  CD 4: 23;   1%;  VL: 770,709
1st Oct 2008:  Started Atripla
4 Dec 2008:  CD 4: 145; 8%, VL: 209
1 March 2009:  CD 4: 91; 8%, VL: 49 (undet)
1 June 2009:  CD 4: 164; 11%, VL: 61
8 July 2011:  CD 4: 286; 17%, VL Undet
28 Oct 2011: CD 4: 346; 21%, VL Undet
2 Mar 2012: CD 4: 316; 20%, VL 6800 (probably an error)
12 Apr 2012: CD 4: 333; 21%, VL Undet

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,771
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #8 on: May 01, 2012, 04:29:33 PM »
my new western blot finally turned positive :((
All hopes lost. Now there is a long road to go, tons of tests to do...

All hopes about not being HIV+ are lost, but its the same old promising future as before, you'll see, so keep all your other hopes. 
Sorry about the diagnosis and welcome.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline songs06

  • Member
  • Posts: 114
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #9 on: May 04, 2012, 01:44:59 AM »
thank you all,

life is getting harder for sure, but i am not in deep depression but i still feel lots of angst and regret. i know there is nothing i can change now. but i still feel like i fucked up my life at 25. my tonsillitis still exist and my throat hurts a lot. at least i wish my acute retroviral syndrome ends already!

my boyfriend is by my side and helps me a lot. we just met 1 month ago, seems like after 10 days i had sex with hiv positive guy. but my bf is quite a cool guy. i feel like it will be ok if he is with me.

i spend my last days at the hospital. they took lots of blood, and neurologist, psychiatrist and dermatologist saw me. most of the people seem to be curious about how i got hiv. even i told only my 4 friends (including my bf) there are lots of doctors and nurses also know.

i also move to another city now, and didn't tell anything my mother and father. i feel really bad for them. they don't know their son got hiv. i think my mother still thinks i am gonna marry a girl soon and have lots of babies or something :) i always keep to much to myself (including my homosexuality) but now this includes my hiv situation.

i heard they are making a vaccine in canada and it is in phase 1. (they are trying on 40 hiv positive guys to see basic effects) i wish they make it already so we can vaccine people. and maybe all this hiv-phobia dies soon.

and last i want to ask a personal question. i know transmitting hiv with oral sex is too hard. but if i do the bj without condom, do you think risk is higher than kissing? i am ok having sex with condom, and so my bf is but i really don't like oral sex with condom. so would you tell me what should i change about my sexual life. i already know i can't have anal or vaginal sex without condom of course but what else do you recommend?

and do you know news about new drugs. is there any chance for cure in the future? should i have hope about it?

thank you for all you support. i hope these bad days went away soon and my life turns somehow normal again.
have a nice day.
18.03.2012 - infected.
14.04.2012 - first positive elisa - UD western blot
30.04.2012 - western blot confirmation positive
03.05.2012 - first lab- CD4: 256   VL: 2.3 M
01.06.2012 - sec lab- CD4: 390 (end of ARS)
01.07.2012 - third lab- CD4: 388 VL: 150.000
11.07.2012 - Started Truvada + Kaletra
04.08.2012 - CD4: 401 VL: 3800
30.09.2012 - CD4: 510 VL: 709
04.01.2013 - CD4: 650 VL: UD! (aka 20)
01.04.2013 - CD4: 460 VL: UD
09.2013 - CD4: 510
02.2014 - CD4: 490

Offline songs06

  • Member
  • Posts: 114
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #10 on: May 05, 2012, 02:05:20 AM »
and one last question,
do you know how long acute retroviral syndrome goes? it has been 4.5 weeks and my throat still hurts and i have lots of LAPs, and all my joints are aching. it says 2-4 weeks in wikipedia but i am feeling really uncomfortable. i want this to stop as soon as possible, because it makes me feel shittier :)
18.03.2012 - infected.
14.04.2012 - first positive elisa - UD western blot
30.04.2012 - western blot confirmation positive
03.05.2012 - first lab- CD4: 256   VL: 2.3 M
01.06.2012 - sec lab- CD4: 390 (end of ARS)
01.07.2012 - third lab- CD4: 388 VL: 150.000
11.07.2012 - Started Truvada + Kaletra
04.08.2012 - CD4: 401 VL: 3800
30.09.2012 - CD4: 510 VL: 709
04.01.2013 - CD4: 650 VL: UD! (aka 20)
01.04.2013 - CD4: 460 VL: UD
09.2013 - CD4: 510
02.2014 - CD4: 490

Offline Ann

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  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #11 on: May 05, 2012, 06:24:27 AM »
Songs, what do you mean by LAPs? Are you talking about lymphadenopathy, more commonly known as swollen glands or swollen lymph nodes? If you are, that may last for quite a while. While it's something for you and your doctor to keep an eye on, it's usually just par for the course in primary hiv infection and nothing to worry about. It just means your body is trying to fight off hiv - which is exactly what it's supposed to be doing.

The general aches and pains should go away soon. Paracetamol or ibuprofen will help with that - just be careful to not exceed the recommended daily dosage.

I had a lot of joint pain that went on for months when I was newly infected too - but my doctor thinks that was more due to the presence of hiv causing my pre-existing hep C infection to become more symptomatic than it had been previously. (hep C is notorious for causing joint pain) You will be having lots and lots of screening tests done to see what else you may be dealing with - make sure these include tests for hep B and hep C.

You should also get your throat checked out. It could be that you are coincidentally dealing with a bacterial infection that will respond to a course of antibiotics.

As for oral, you're correct in thinking this isn't normally a transmission route. However, as you are very newly infected, your viral load is likely to be extremely high. If your boyfriend has poor oral health, you may want to not let him blow you without a condom at least until your VL starts to come down. You can give him all the blowjobs you want to though - hiv is absolutely NOT transmitted to the person being blown. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

When will you see your doctor again and get the results of all the recent tests you had? If it's not going to be for a week or so and your throat continues to bother you, you should see a doctor - doesn't necessarily have to be your hiv doctor, your GP will do - and get your throat swabbed to find out if you're dealing with a bacterial infection for which you can be prescribed antibiotics.

Hang in there - it does get better.

Ann
« Last Edit: May 05, 2012, 06:26:06 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline songs06

  • Member
  • Posts: 114
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #12 on: May 06, 2012, 01:20:06 AM »
thank you ann,

it could not be a bacterial infection, because i used 3 different antibiotics (which all my doctors recommended) but my tonsillitis still exist. it's obviously viral (that s how i got my hiv test, because of my uncurable tonsillitis...) last 2 days, it got worse. i am using lots of painkillers. it is unbearable otherwise. i don't think there is anything any medicine can do to my throat right now. only a surgery might end me pain (with more pain :)

thank you for all info about oral sex. i am quite anxious about people around me. i know lots of medical stuff about hiv but oral sex topic was always kinda in between. some people say it is possible, some people say it is not. but i see most of the hiv people don't believe people who say they got hiv from oral sex. :) i never let my bf blowjob me, but i did couple of times (really small ones actually becuse of my thraot) so there is no problem. but he have to do elisa tests regularly.

i am gonna get my results next friday. but there will be months before i start medication because i am sure my CD4s are still over 350.

i also feel like everything gonna get better if my acute syndrome ends. everytime i accidentally touch one of my LAPs (yes swallen glands) i remember the virus in my blood. i also remember this is not a nightmare everymorning i wake up. i wish life wasn't so hard.

ann, i hope you are doing ok. i didn't know you also have hep c. i hope your liver is bearing good to all the virus and medication. i also had problem with hep c 5 months ago before i start working in a hospital, i got routine test and it got mild positive. and i got RNA test and it got negative. so when i first see my hiv elisa, i hoped for the same :( it is obvious; life can always get harder than it seems.

thank you again.
18.03.2012 - infected.
14.04.2012 - first positive elisa - UD western blot
30.04.2012 - western blot confirmation positive
03.05.2012 - first lab- CD4: 256   VL: 2.3 M
01.06.2012 - sec lab- CD4: 390 (end of ARS)
01.07.2012 - third lab- CD4: 388 VL: 150.000
11.07.2012 - Started Truvada + Kaletra
04.08.2012 - CD4: 401 VL: 3800
30.09.2012 - CD4: 510 VL: 709
04.01.2013 - CD4: 650 VL: UD! (aka 20)
01.04.2013 - CD4: 460 VL: UD
09.2013 - CD4: 510
02.2014 - CD4: 490

Offline Peacock

  • Member
  • Posts: 72
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #13 on: May 06, 2012, 04:09:38 AM »
Hi Songs, I suspected that i was Positive even before I got the results. I just knew that something was wrong,It may have been the terrible seroconversion (is that the correct term?) that gave me a clue. I also had time to think about it before getting the result. In a way, the Hiv wasnt a big shock or surprize for me. And i also felt a constant reminder that theres a virus inside me. We all felt like that. the first year is very difficuilt, but it DOES get better! I only relaxed once I started treatment and knew that I was getting help with fighting it. Now I relax and let the meds to their job. Of course, in my first year i had dreams of being an elite controller, and using vitamins and miracle herbs to control the virus. :D
Now I just take my meds and carry on as normal, no difference in my life at all..except that I now have a desperate need wring as much out of a day as possible.
Enjoy the Sun...Enjoy the cool rain...enjoy the ocean. I have a larger appreciation for life.  I would enjoy it even more without Hiv, but some things in life are not negotiable- like being hit by a bus while crossing the road.
I hope you start to feel better soon. Your posts reminded me so much of myself when I first became +.
Big Hugs, Feel better soon Ok.
Steve
Peacock,Steve
Diagnosed 07/01/2002
Started Haart- 25/11/04 Cd4: 205 VL: 76'500
                      19/12/08 Cd4: 623 VL: UD
      26/03/12 Cd4: 497 Cd4%: 30.10 VL: UD
Combivir and Nevirapine(200mg) x1 of each-Am & pm
Not changed Meds since starting on HAART
Green Tea,Multivit,Selenium ACE,Folic acid,Vit C,Aciclovir 200mg 5x per day for 3 days-(ONLY when I have Shingles!)
100 percent adherence-with the help of a wristwatch!

Offline songs06

  • Member
  • Posts: 114
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #14 on: May 06, 2012, 06:08:04 AM »
thanks for support peacock,

i quit smoking and drinking instantly. now i eat better (otherwise i lose 2 kg a day!!) i am not doing herbal stuff, and i m not planing to but i am also using a vitamin pill (which is unnecessary actually) lots of things already changed but i feel the same way. i know drugs have lots of side effects but i want to fight the virus as soon as possible. i also know when i start the treatment i will use it for the rest of my life. so it is kinda nice to have a gap between diagnosis and treatment. but i wish i felt healtier so i could use my last days free of medicine better (not sleeping and resting at home :))

i also want to start treatment because my viral load probably too high. and i am afraid for my boyfriend. i know it s really hard to transmit with kissing and oral sex stuff but i still feel uncomfortable when i kiss him. if my viral load was UD i felt much more safer when i am with him :(

i was also the one who told the doctor to do the Elisa, and i knew i will turn positive. but in my country HIV prevalence is really low, even my friends who has tons of one night stands (without condoms) don't have it. it felt like a miracle to me, how i got it with my first unprotected encounter after 3 years. gives me such a strange feeling about being really unlucky :(
18.03.2012 - infected.
14.04.2012 - first positive elisa - UD western blot
30.04.2012 - western blot confirmation positive
03.05.2012 - first lab- CD4: 256   VL: 2.3 M
01.06.2012 - sec lab- CD4: 390 (end of ARS)
01.07.2012 - third lab- CD4: 388 VL: 150.000
11.07.2012 - Started Truvada + Kaletra
04.08.2012 - CD4: 401 VL: 3800
30.09.2012 - CD4: 510 VL: 709
04.01.2013 - CD4: 650 VL: UD! (aka 20)
01.04.2013 - CD4: 460 VL: UD
09.2013 - CD4: 510
02.2014 - CD4: 490

Offline Ann

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  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #15 on: May 06, 2012, 08:51:45 AM »
Songs, it doesn't matter how high your viral load is - hiv is simply NOT transmitted through kissing. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect. You can give him blowjobs for the same reason.

I only recommended caution over him giving you blowjobs while your newly infected and your VL is likely to be sky-high. There have been studies that looked at the oral question - and have shown it to not be a risk either way - and I trust these studies.

There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

However, there was one poz demographic (group) these studies couldn't look at and that's the demographic you're in - the group of people who are very newly infected with a sky-high viral load. I advise caution because this group has not yet been studied (it would be difficult to do so). If your semen also has a very high VL like your blood, and your partner's oral health isn't the best, then the best thing is to err on the side of caution.

However, this does not change the fact that saliva IS NOT INFECTIOUS regardless of your VL. Kiss your boyfriend - anywhere on his body - and don't worry about it. You're not going to infect him with your mouth. No way.

All you two need to do is to make sure you're using condoms for anal intercourse. Make sure you read the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them correctly and with confidence. A correctly used condom rarely breaks, so get reading! The Condoms are a Girl's Best Friend website is available in several different languages, so you may find one there that is easier for you to read - although your English seems very good.

I'm doing ok, btw, thanks. I'm not on hiv meds yet, but hope to be in sometime this year (I've been poz 15 years now). I did the treatment for hep C for a year (2002/03) and I cleared the virus, so I'm considered cured of hep C. One less virus to worry about - yay me! ;D

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline songs06

  • Member
  • Posts: 114
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #16 on: May 07, 2012, 02:03:39 AM »
oh really! it's a great news. i knew there is a chance to clear hep c with treatment, this is really something. can i ask why you weren't on meds for 15 years? how your cd4 count goes? isn't it risky not to start hiv meds for 15 years? you would have turned aids stage without meds? or this was only for protect your liver?

yesterday was a hard day. my throat got worse, my bf took me to ER and they give me some painkillers. this morning the same, my throat killing me. if i knew i will take this pain for whole my life, i would really consider killing myself. even with painkillers, it is hardly bearable. i am going to see my ID doctor today, but i am sure he is going to tell me to wait for couple of days. it looks like i am turning to a painkiller addict. only my throat got better i would feel lots of better about his horrible disease. but now i can't drink water without pain! this also makes me a nervous person all the time, i really don't know how my bf still takes this. he is a real good person.

i am going to check your condom and lube links, ann. i am sure i will find infos i haven't know yet. we do have anal sex with condom, and with lube. it looks like lube really lowers the risk of condom breaking. thanks for that. :)

and last, for 2 days i started to have really bad dreams about my regret. the encounter i got hiv, is really something i wasn't planing to do. it was spontaneous, and i wasn't really into it at all. it was really unnecessary and wasn't even fun. i would have stopped it anytime but i didn't. i could have changed EVERYTHING, but i just did it, without any particular reason. i was just bored i guess. it is really killing me to think about it how idiot i was. i know it is no good to think about past that i can't change anymore, but this dreams and ideas pop into my mind. it is something so trivial, so small, how can it change my life so rapidly. does anyone know when this feeling ends? i know i have years to think about it now.
18.03.2012 - infected.
14.04.2012 - first positive elisa - UD western blot
30.04.2012 - western blot confirmation positive
03.05.2012 - first lab- CD4: 256   VL: 2.3 M
01.06.2012 - sec lab- CD4: 390 (end of ARS)
01.07.2012 - third lab- CD4: 388 VL: 150.000
11.07.2012 - Started Truvada + Kaletra
04.08.2012 - CD4: 401 VL: 3800
30.09.2012 - CD4: 510 VL: 709
04.01.2013 - CD4: 650 VL: UD! (aka 20)
01.04.2013 - CD4: 460 VL: UD
09.2013 - CD4: 510
02.2014 - CD4: 490

Offline intheusa

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #17 on: May 07, 2012, 09:25:27 PM »
The one encounter you had were you top or bottom?

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #18 on: May 07, 2012, 10:17:45 PM »
The one encounter you had were you top or bottom?

Are you HIV positive? I am curious, and certainly wish you would post an introductory thread if so. It would be great to know you a little.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

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  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #19 on: May 08, 2012, 02:21:09 AM »
The one encounter you had were you top or bottom?
Are you HIV positive? I am curious, and certainly wish you would post an introductory thread if so. It would be great to know you a little.

Yes, and I'm more than a little curious. In your only other post in these forums you asked someone about the bands on their WB test and it sounds to me like you're not poz, but questioning your hiv status. If I'm right, then you shouldn't be posting anywhere other than in the Am I Infected or Off Topic forum (keeping in mind that Off Topic is for anything not related to hiv). If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

With the exception of the “Am I Infected?” and “Off Topic” Forums, the AIDSmeds.com Forums are intended for people who have been diagnosed with HIV (or their loved ones/caregivers).  If you are questioning or unaware of your HIV status, please refrain from posting messages or questions in the Forums intended for HIV-positive people.


If you actually are poz, then I apologise. Please tell us about yourself as Jonathan requested. Otherwise...

Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline songs06

  • Member
  • Posts: 114
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #20 on: May 08, 2012, 05:43:07 AM »
intheusa, if you ask that question to tell me being bottom is more risky i already know that. well i am positive now, so i think it doesn't matter. but if you don't know yet i can tell you there are lots of numbers on the net about being top or bottom how changes your chance to get infected. it is kind of bullshit. because another important thing is viral load of the guy you have sex. if the guy who infected me was on treatment, it would be much more harder  for me to get infected. strange thing is, i called the guy and told him. but he told me it is impossible, and i got it from someone else! i know he is quite a sexually active guy because he is a really hot guy in small town. now he is probably infecting other unlucky guys like me, and he is not answering any of my messages. i really didn't think he is such a retarded person. he thought i am joking, and only trying to scare him! i don't blame him for my infection. (even i told him not to ejaculate inside me, but he did nevertheless!) because it was my choice to do unprotected sex. but i do blame him not to get tested and get treatment even i told him he might have hiv infection!

well, today is the same. my throat is killing me. i am resting and listening portishead all day with my bf. i want to do lots of things after my acute syndrome ends! this is worse than learning about my infection! 5 whole weeks, and still going!
18.03.2012 - infected.
14.04.2012 - first positive elisa - UD western blot
30.04.2012 - western blot confirmation positive
03.05.2012 - first lab- CD4: 256   VL: 2.3 M
01.06.2012 - sec lab- CD4: 390 (end of ARS)
01.07.2012 - third lab- CD4: 388 VL: 150.000
11.07.2012 - Started Truvada + Kaletra
04.08.2012 - CD4: 401 VL: 3800
30.09.2012 - CD4: 510 VL: 709
04.01.2013 - CD4: 650 VL: UD! (aka 20)
01.04.2013 - CD4: 460 VL: UD
09.2013 - CD4: 510
02.2014 - CD4: 490

Offline songs06

  • Member
  • Posts: 114
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #21 on: May 09, 2012, 01:49:13 AM »
My first CD4 count has just came: 259 :(
i just infected almost 2 months ago now, how can my CD4 levels are so low already! i still don't know my viral load :( i suddenly feel so bad. i was hoping for a high viral load but normal CD4 count. now i have to start the meds as soon as possible. in my country they start the treatment after your CD4 count drops below 350. i was hoping to have 3-4 months before starting meds. life is just going harder and harder. and my throat still killing me.
18.03.2012 - infected.
14.04.2012 - first positive elisa - UD western blot
30.04.2012 - western blot confirmation positive
03.05.2012 - first lab- CD4: 256   VL: 2.3 M
01.06.2012 - sec lab- CD4: 390 (end of ARS)
01.07.2012 - third lab- CD4: 388 VL: 150.000
11.07.2012 - Started Truvada + Kaletra
04.08.2012 - CD4: 401 VL: 3800
30.09.2012 - CD4: 510 VL: 709
04.01.2013 - CD4: 650 VL: UD! (aka 20)
01.04.2013 - CD4: 460 VL: UD
09.2013 - CD4: 510
02.2014 - CD4: 490

Offline songs06

  • Member
  • Posts: 114
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #22 on: May 09, 2012, 02:58:03 PM »
my first lab results is a mess:

CD4: 259
Viral load: 2.300.000 :(

i just got hiv for 2 months, and  have really progressive acute hiv syndrome. my ID told me they will start ART immediately :(

i will start truvada - kaletra next week. is there anyone using this combination? how is it going? have you experienced lots of side effects? i am kind of afraid and unhapy. i will use these pills for years.
18.03.2012 - infected.
14.04.2012 - first positive elisa - UD western blot
30.04.2012 - western blot confirmation positive
03.05.2012 - first lab- CD4: 256   VL: 2.3 M
01.06.2012 - sec lab- CD4: 390 (end of ARS)
01.07.2012 - third lab- CD4: 388 VL: 150.000
11.07.2012 - Started Truvada + Kaletra
04.08.2012 - CD4: 401 VL: 3800
30.09.2012 - CD4: 510 VL: 709
04.01.2013 - CD4: 650 VL: UD! (aka 20)
01.04.2013 - CD4: 460 VL: UD
09.2013 - CD4: 510
02.2014 - CD4: 490

Offline Lad_Liam

  • Member
  • Posts: 56
  • it's a hitchhiker, not a hijacker
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #23 on: May 12, 2012, 12:53:24 AM »
good luck starting the pills, songs.
this has been a really hard arrival for you, i am wishing you a speedy recovery from here.

let your fears about starting the meds fuel your energy for staying on them, on time every time. the fear will likely turn into a desire to keep on top of the bug soon enough.

the meds work, quickly. look at other poster's signature numbers. some within a month or two kill off their VLs. things will recover for you.

good luck! hold onto your hope!


a new dark passenger joins the ride

Offline nursepoz24

  • Member
  • Posts: 28
Re: 2 times positive
« Reply #24 on: May 24, 2012, 05:14:29 AM »
Im poz too. We just have the same sentiments.

 


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